The Loss of A Child

[airIam2worship]

Sisters, this is a very sensitive topic. For some of us it may be very personal. But I feel that it is a topic that needs to be addressed.

As we all know the death of a loved one is a very painful experience. All of us have lost someone near and dear to us, death is as natural as life. Although God did not intend for men to die, but because of Adam's sin we must all now experience it, by losing a loved one.

Ro 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:

Notice, sisters I said we exprience death by losing a loved one yes even though we too are subject to dying we do not mourn our own death.
Now I am speaking from a Christian point of view, and with a lot of experience on facing the loss of loved ones

I have experienced the loss of my parents, my grandparents, many aunts and uncles to whom I was very close, cousins that were like brothers and sisters to me, a nephew whom I very dearly loved, and last but not least my own child, my youngest child. In my opinion, the most unexpected, and unacceptable of all losses, the most painful of all, (feeling like our heart has been ripped right out of our chests).

I have experienced, so many different emotions and feelings facing the loss of each of my dear ones that I can't begin to say exactly when one emotion left and another one replaced it.

It even seemed to me that I was moving in slow motion, that it was almost like watching a movie and I was the third party, like I was detached from the situation.

Sisters, (and brothers, that are sneaking a peek) God lovingly and mercifully built us with these feelings of detachment, in my own humble opinion, to be able to deal with the emotions that come with the loss.

But these feelings of slow motion and detachment or unassociation, or deadness and numbness do not last forever, sooner or later, we come face to face with the reality of the loss, the grief, the emptiness, the sorrow, and the flood of emotions that each feeling brings. Thank God for these feelings, they are like God's love sheltering us. But God did not stop there, He provided for us the only true way to end this sorrow forever.

Let us then give our pain and suffering over to God, He knows all to well the feeling of hurt when you lose a child. He has conquered sin and death. He has defeated it for us.

1Co 15:55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

God has given us the hope of being able to see our loved ones again, He has given each one of us the opportunity to pass from death to life, eternal life where death and sorrow will be no more.

Re 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

This promise of God is ours and it's for all mankind, let us share it with others so they too may be able to receive and enjoy the blessings of this promise.

Sisters (and Brothers) this is a subject that cannot be completed in just one post alone nor by just one person; we all have experienced a loss of some kind. This is a very deep and sometimes very personal topic. Each one of us has our own experience, I encourage each person reading this please add your feelings, and your thoughts

Let us lift one another in prayer, or request prayer that we may be able to find peace and resignation and move on in expectancy of the blessed hope we have in Christ.

[Robwen]

6/22/04 Our son Andrew passed away (i was 34 weeks PG) and was delivered 10 days later 7/2/04. Ive never in my life felt the pain that i felt with his passing. So I feel the same way too. Meaning, although its been just a couple weeks past 2 years sometimes i feel as if it was yesterday the pain feels so new. And at times it felt like it was a dream and didnt happen to me. I personally cant wait to see my little boy in Heaven

[airIam2worship]

6/22/04 Our son Andrew passed away (i was 34 weeks PG) and was delivered 10 days later 7/2/04. Ive never in my life felt the pain that i felt with his passing. So I feel the same way too. Meaning, although its been just a couple weeks past 2 years sometimes i feel as if it was yesterday the pain feels so new. And at times it felt like it was a dream and didnt happen to me. I personally cant wait to see my little boy in Heaven

Sister, due to a hyperactive thyroid, I had many complications with my pregnancy with my son Jonathan. He was born by c-section when I was 6 months pregnant, the c-section had to be done because I had ruptured membranes at 5 months, and both baby and I contracted Strep-Sepsis. (Extremely Dangerous - Fatal) My baby had to be resuscitated and placed in the neonatal ICU, I was placed in the ICU as well, but you wouldn't have found me in that room, the nurses and doctors knew my baby would die and that my chances of dieing were about 80% so they let me spend as much time as I wanted with my son. That is where I was almost all the time, by his little table praying for him. My baby died 4 days later.  God did answer my prayer, to let the baby look at me before he died. My son had been placed into an induced coma so he wouldn't be in so much pain, and yet he opened one eye and stared at me for at least a minute to me it seemed like only a fleeting second. My baby's blood pressure and his heart beat would regulate when I talked to him, I know he was hearing my prayers for him, I know he was listening to me talking to him about Jesus and heaven, and his older brother and sisters, and how much we loved him.
I can't wait to see my son again. I don't know if he will be a baby still or if he will be a grown man, but I do know that I will see him again and that I will lve him just as much. I also know that he is now a child of God and that God loaned him to me for a short while. He would be 21 now. His birthday was March 30 and he died April 3. He was born on an Easter Sunday. 

Praise God for the blessed hope. 

[danielleenbody]

Reading this has brought back memories. I can't imagine losing a child that you have already grown to love. I lost my twins during child birth at 25 weeks pregnant and it was the most painful thing I have ever gone through. I can't imagine the pain this must have caused you. I will pray for you. Sometimes going to GROUP therapy helps. It helps you to talk about it with other parents who have gone through the same thing. I still don't talk about the details of my loss...it's just to hard. The one thing the trial did do was bring me closer to God.
You are in my prayers.

[airIam2worship]

Danielle, I am so sorry for your loss, a mother loves her child the same no matter how old they are, of course the older your child gets, the more memories are built, the more you see the personality develop, you get to hear a voice you can cherish, see smiles that will always warm your hear, but no mater if your child is still in your womb or if he is 85 years old a mother's love for her child never changes.

I know sometimes it is hard to talk about it, I never was able to find a support group where I lived in Ma. But God saw me through it. You don't need to talk or give details if you feel you can't. We understand.

My prayers are with you my sister, and remember that Jesus defeated death and the grave and one day we will be joined with our children.

God Bless you, your friend and sister in Christ,
Maria.

[danielleenbody]

That's what keeps me going sister. Distance from God is the loneliest feeling. Sometimes He prunes us even when we don't want him too. I now have an awesome 22 month old. It took me a long time to get over the fear of something happening to her. (Of course I still check her every night to make sure she's breathing). God has blessed me so much and I know allot of women wouldn't say it but I actually LOVED my labor with her. I was able to see how God is such a miracle worker, even when you think the world is tumbling around you He always comes through. I had complications with that pregnancy and went into preterm labor as well. Fortunately, the doctors put me on drugs to stop the contractions and I went on bed rest - my daughter was still premature but healthy enough to make it. She is God's greatest gift...."The fruit of the womb"

Thank you for your kind words.

[airIam2worship]

Amen, children are definitely a reward from the Lord.

Sister, I am happy you are enjoying everyday with your baby.
It's so wonderful to know we can always run to our Father, when we are hurting and be assured that He does not let His Word fail. He is always there for us and one day soon He will reward our faithfulness. What a wonderful day that will be.

Mt 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

[danielleenbody]

Amen to that. Wow, what emotional e-mails, everytime I read your response, I tear up.

[airIam2worship]

Well you know us girls we are weepy, and get emotional over anything even something as simple as an ice cream sundae. 

[airIam2worship]

in my case it's knowing I can't have them as much as I'd like to.

[danielleenbody]

Very true. I get so easily teared up. The joys of being a woman.hehhee

[airIam2worship]

guys will never understand - hee hee that is our special gift given to us by God and we reserve the right to use it wherever we go and we don't care who sees us either.

We cry because we are happy, we cry when we are sad, we cry when our 3 year old daughter or grandaghter tumbles thru the door carrying a bouquet of ragweed for you, and not just because you are allergic. We cry at weddings, we cry when we're angry, you know what? We cry a lot! I cry when my daughter comes to visit and then I cry when she leaves, that's how God made us and that's NOTHING to cry about, I smile and say "Thank You Father, for making me this way. 

[danielleenbody]

ok, I am getting teary eyed again (with a smile on my face)

[airIam2worship]

ok, I am getting teary eyed again (with a smile on my face)

That's ok sister, I'll cry with you if you want, I cried when I was posting this because I remember all the dandelions, ragweed, and who know what else, my daughters and grandaughters bought home for me. My oldest grandaughter I like pretty rocks and smooth stones, one day when she was 2 years old she bought a tiny little handful of driveway gravel. Such a smile on her face when she announced "Grandma, for you", she made me cry as I picked her up and kissed her cheek I told her they were the most beautiful gravel I've ever seen, she corrected me and said "No, rocks". Today she is 17 when I told her this story when she was 15 (shrugging my shoulders),

She cried, and laughed at once.

[danielleenbody]

It goes by so fast. All you can do is cherish the moments. I cried on my daughter's 1st birthday (that night and the next morning). I could just look at her and start crying. I kind of got the crying genes because both of my parents are big saps too ...hehe