Inner peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
> could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the
> simple
> advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
> Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
> the things you've started and never finished."
>
> So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and
> hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished
> off a
> bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's
> Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of
> my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos
> and a box of
> chocolates.
>
> You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to
> those you feel might be in need of inner peace!