Handshakes

[Tibby]

Here in the south, a lot of people believe you can really tell a man by his handshake. I was never really raised up to believe it, but I give a good squeeze for posterity. What do you guys think about telling a man by his shake?

[Early57]

I think it is a joke.

We place people into certian classes by the grip of their handshake.

"Oh, he has a weak grip, he must be a sissy"

"He holds his hand wrong, he must be Gay"



Our elders have complained for as long as I can remember that it hurts them when some young Buck comes up to them and squeezes their Arthritic hand to the point of pain.

This practice also ruins a mans confidince as he grows older and can no longer give a good stiff handshake.

Because of this Handshake status many people have suffered both mental and phyiscal pain.


Let the little boys play this game with each other, but Teach them that as the grow up, well let the word teach them.

1 Corinthians 13
11   When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

[Allinall]

I personally consider the handshake a great tell-tale of the man behind it.  I don't think you have to actually break bones or anything, but a great deal of sincerity is behind it.  If a man barely shakes my hand, or is limp in his grip it speaks little of his sincerity.  However, there are members of my church with such grips that I wouldn't question their heart or sincerity in fellowship.  It's more of a first impression thing really.  I tend to want to give and receive a good impression.  Strong grips tend to give such an impression.  That's just me though...

[longdog]

In my experience there is a certain 'type' of person who seems to think an excessively firm handshake makes him seen 'thrusting', 'dynamic' and a bit of a 'man amongst men'. Having been blessed with very strong hands (shame it doesn't apply to the rest of me   ) I take great delight in crushing the offending hand and returning it, broken and brusied to it's owner. You can see the pain in their eyes but they never crack on.

Another nice technique for 'hand-crushers' is to snatch your hand away and shout 'Arrrgh!!!! what do you think you're doing'

If all else fails, use the two handed shake and steal their watch

Common sense and good manners should tell anyone what a firm and friendly handshake should be.

[Symphony]

Thanks, Tibby.  Excellent question.  

I use to think like you and AllinAll, when I was frequently socially active.

Years later now, working with people, I view it differently now--I frequently don't shake hands at all, using instead only eye contact, and just observing.  I've come to reserve handshaking as more meaningful, perhaps, so less inclined to do it unless I'm sure I really want to.

[Whitehorse]

Here in the south, a lot of people believe you can really tell a man by his handshake. I was never really raised up to believe it, but I give a good squeeze for posterity. What do you guys think about telling a man by his shake?

At interviews people definitely do. So I always did the same as you at interviews, and I also go by the person I'm shaking hands with. It has a bolder impression to it. But it seems this is somewhat cultural, too. I've never met a person from India who does this, for example, but in the US I'd say it's very true.

[Lawyer]

I think it is sterotype based not on fact, but a myth for I have shook the hands of men who had a strong grip and looked you in the eye and they were "gay" and have shook the hands of men who had weak grips and didn't always look you in the eye who were straight.

So I don't judge anything by the handshake.....

[2nd Timothy]

Interesting thread.

I read somewhere...(forget where) about the placment of the hand during a handshake also tells alot.

Extending your hand palm down, shows you see yourself above the individual.

Extend your hand palm up shows you see yourself beneath the individual

Extend your hand natually (palm sideways) shows you see yourself as equal.

I forgot what Clasping the shake hand with both hands is suppose to mean.  

Whether its true or not, or whether others are aware of it, it is interesting to notice these things when shaking hands.

Personally, I extend my hand palm up and shake firmly.

Grace and Peace!

[JudgeNot]

My father taught me from a very young age that a firm (not squeezing, just firm) handshake is a proper handshake, and to only shake hands with a lady if she offers her hand first - then less firm but with both hands.

I think handshakes are a wonderful custom.  I have a business acquaintance who is a Russian immigrant.  I definitley DO NOT like his customary greeting.  Eeeuuu!  Wipe my face with a hanky...

[nChrist]

My father taught me from a very young age that a firm (not squeezing, just firm) handshake is a proper handshake, and to only shake hands with a lady if she offers her hand first - then less firm but with both hands.

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

   I practiced very firm and squeezing handshakes with boys who were going to take my daughter out for a date.  About the time I saw fear on the young man's face, I would ask where they were going and what time my daughter would be home. Maintaining close eye contact and cleaning your duty weapon when the young man arrives is also good. I'm extremely happy she married a fine young man and I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Love In Christ,
Tom

[Lawyer]

My father taught me from a very young age that a firm (not squeezing, just firm) handshake is a proper handshake, and to only shake hands with a lady if she offers her hand first - then less firm but with both hands.

Oklahoma Howdy to JudgeNot,

   I practiced very firm and squeezing handshakes with boys who were going to take my daughter out for a date.  About the time I saw fear on the young man's face, I would ask where they were going and what time my daughter would be home. Maintaining close eye contact and cleaning your duty weapon when the young man arrives is also good. I'm extremely happy she married a fine young man and I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Cleaning the duty weapon...now that is funny!

Although I don't have children to worry about, I suspect sharpening a BIG BOWIE knife would do quite nicely as well!

[tony350]

I am from the South. By shaking a mans hand you can tell how tough he is, his grip.

You can also tell by the style of the way he shakes his hand.

[Lawyer]

I am from the South. By shaking a mans hand you can tell how tough he is, his grip.

You can also tell by the style of the way he shakes his hand.

I hope you don't RELY on that ...too much.

For I have had a man's man..give me a firm handshake and look me in the eye....and be like super military...only to find out he is gay...and I have had "sissy" effeminate men give me a soft wimpy handshake only to find they be "lustfiends" for women....

Sterotypes ....are falsehoods.....and bad "gauges" for making "judgments"...