Leading by Following Christ’s Example

I believe the greatest need in Christian homes today is for fathers to become spiritual leaders within their homes. The Bible says the husband is “the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23). As husbands and fathers, Christ calls us to lead our households in the same manner and way as He leads the Church (the Greek word for as means in the same manner and way). Does it really matter how we lead our households? If we love our wife and children and wish for them to love Jesus, does the way they receive spiritual leadership really matter?

King David loved the Lord with all his heart. He realized that Israel had not sought God’s guidance during the days of Saul, and he wanted to lead the people into seeking His will. He wished to bring the ark up to Jerusalem with the right desire in his heart, and began to do so with great fanfare and celebration. Nevertheless, in a display of human frailty, David failed to do the very thing in which he sought to lead the nation. He consulted the people but failed to inquire of the Lord. David had good intentions and his methods met with the approval of his people, but he was not doing what God desired in the way He had instructed.

“He then said to the whole assembly of Israel, ‘If it seems good to you and if it is the will of the LORD our God, let us send word far and wide to the rest of our brothers throughout the territories of Israel, and also to the priests and Levites who are with them in their towns and pasturelands, to come and join us. Let us bring the ark of our God back to us, for we did not inquire of it during the reign of Saul.’ The whole assembly agreed to do this, because it seemed right to all the people” (1 Chronicles 13:2-4, emphasis added).

“‘It was because you, the Levites, did not bring it up the first time that the LORD our God broke out in anger against us. We did not inquire of him about how to do it in the prescribed way.’ So the priests and Levites consecrated themselves in order to bring up the ark of the LORD, the God of Israel. And the Levites carried the ark of God with the poles on their shoulders, as Moses had commanded in accordance with the word of the LORD” (1 Chronicles 15:13-15, emphasis added).

David was not perfect, but when He sinned, he was quick to repent and follow the Lord. Perhaps this is why God calls him a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22). David learned a hard lesson, and three months later he went back to carry the ark following God’s instructions and with His full blessing.

As husbands, we must assume our God-given responsibilities and lead our family in the way God has prescribed. We may love the Lord and our families, and our motives may be right, but are we leading our households in the way that He desires? Like David, we too must not simply do what seems right to all the people. We must inquire of the Lord and seek to know His will so that we might lead our household in the way He requires of us. Like David, we must repent when we fail to inquire of Him, and learn to perform our tasks in the prescribed manner.

Sadly, it has been too long since we inquired of the Lord to know the prescribed way. After several generations of adopting the world’s methods within the church, husbands no longer know how to lead their families as Christ commands. I once thought that I was fulfilling my role as a Christian father when I prayed before meals, took my family to church twice on Sunday, and made certain that we were involved in all the activities at church. I was doing what seemed right to all the people, but I was not leading my family in the prescribed way.

Through the prompting of the Holy Spirit and the mentoring of a close friend, I discovered that the Father intends for me to be so much more than a nominal spiritual leader within my home. As I searched to know His will, I discovered that the Father has clearly revealed my roles, responsibilities, and duties as a husband and father. A husband must be the head of his family in the same manner and way as Christ is the Head of the Church (Ephesians 5:23). A husband must love and serve his family in the same manner and way as Christ loves and serves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). How is Christ the Head of the Church? He expresses His headship or authority over the Church through the offices of Priest, Prophet, and King. How does Christ serve and express His love for the Church? He loves and serves the Church by performing the duties associated with these roles. His direction is clear, but I had never inquired of Him. Instead, I listened to the world around me.

Jesus instructs a husband to love and serve his family by being the priest, prophet, and king to his household. God has assigned tremendous leadership responsibilities and duties that are no longer taught in our churches and homes. I urge you to inquire of the Lord. Your family will never be the same.