Hello Mightor,
WELCOME!! I will be praying for you.
All Christians have made mistakes and stumbled. I give thanks that we can pray directly to GOD HIMSELF, confess our sins, and know that the Blood of JESUS is more than sufficient to wash away our sins. I've had very firm feelings many times that God had plans for me and work for me to do.
My only advice would be to PRAY, PRAY some more, watch, listen, study HIS WORD, and yield when the opportunity comes to serve HIM.I look forward to reading your posts and having fellowship with you. I sincerely hope that you enjoy Christians Unite.
Love In Christ,
Tom
Romans 8:37-39 NASB But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.