John 3:16
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« on: February 19, 2006, 11:32:00 PM » |
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LIFE AFTER DEATH: >"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS >EMPLOYEES. >"YES, OF COURSE SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. >"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER >YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE >STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU! " > >PALM SUNDAY: >IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY >STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, >THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE >FOR. >"PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." >"WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE >SHOWS UP!" > >CHILDREN'S SERMON: >ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S >SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE >POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?" "I KNOW!" >A >LITTLE BOY >EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!" > >FIRST TIME USHERS: >A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS PASSED >AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES. >WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR ME >DADDY. >I'M UNDER FIVE." > >PRAYERS: >THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED, "NOW, JOHNNY, TELL ME, DO YOU SAY >PRAYERS BEFORE EATING?" "NO SIR," HE REPLIED, "WE DON'T HAVE TO, MY MOM >IS A GOOD COOK!" >
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