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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #195 on: June 19, 2003, 01:47:15 PM » |
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Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.  |
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Brother Love
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« Reply #196 on: June 20, 2003, 06:34:58 AM » |
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"  Brother Love |
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #197 on: June 20, 2003, 04:41:10 PM » |
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" Brother Love LOL Thanks Bro |
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #199 on: June 22, 2003, 08:20:28 AM » |
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" |
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #200 on: June 22, 2003, 02:07:27 PM » |
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pedestrians AND Catholics The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross. A cop was directing traffic. Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The swelling throng surged across Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner. When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection. Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion. Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had again been joined by a crowd of people. Tweeeeeeeet! "Okay, pedestrians!" The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put. She looked at her watch and tapped her foot as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere, but never budged from the sidewalk. The cop ran the traffic through seven more cycles, each time blowing his whistle and then yelling "Okay, pedestrians!" The blonde never moved. Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the eighth time, the blonde shouted across traffic, "Yo! Officer! Isn't it about time you let the Catholics cross?" |
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TigerLily
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« Reply #201 on: June 22, 2003, 04:15:54 PM » |
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LOL good one A4C marriage<- means to a 6 yr old LOL> MARRIAGE BUT NO BABIES! A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Sure," his Young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"  |
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Remember that tho the storms of life may rage & stir things up, cause chaos and at times many hurts, etc...In the end, It can unearth the most beautiful of treasure! Keep Holding on to Jesus thru the storm & He will indeed show you the beauty of life after its all settled & peaceful, Its His Plan!
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Symphony
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« Reply #202 on: June 22, 2003, 11:15:34 PM » |
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Forrest
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« Reply #203 on: June 23, 2003, 02:40:48 AM » |
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HERE'S A FUNNY ONE FOR EVERY COMPUTER OWNER!!!!! I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?" The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote it out ...... I D 1 0 T  |
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Your Brother In Christ Forrest  ROM 12:5 So we, [being] many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.  |
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Brother Love
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« Reply #204 on: June 23, 2003, 04:18:59 AM » |
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pedestrians AND Catholics The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross. A cop was directing traffic. Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The swelling throng surged across Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner. When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection. Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion. Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had again been joined by a crowd of people. Tweeeeeeeet! "Okay, pedestrians!" The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put. She looked at her watch and tapped her foot as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere, but never budged from the sidewalk. The cop ran the traffic through seven more cycles, each time blowing his whistle and then yelling "Okay, pedestrians!" The blonde never moved. Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the eighth time, the blonde shouted across traffic, "Yo! Officer! Isn't it about time you let the Catholics cross?" LOL Brother Love |
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Brother Love
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« Reply #205 on: June 23, 2003, 04:20:27 AM » |
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LOL good one A4C marriage<- means to a 6 yr old LOL> MARRIAGE BUT NO BABIES! A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Sure," his Young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!" LOL Brother Love |
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Brother Love
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« Reply #206 on: June 23, 2003, 04:22:48 AM » |
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HERE'S A FUNNY ONE FOR EVERY COMPUTER OWNER!!!!! I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?" The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote it out ...... I D 1 0 T YES!! LOL Brother Love |
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Brother Love
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« Reply #207 on: June 23, 2003, 04:25:42 AM » |
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PROOF OF GOD An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was not a God. He said, "God if You are real, then I want You to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a BIG 240 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said. The football player walked in the class room and in the last minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform. The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, ... "Where did you come from , And why did you do that?" The football player replied, " God was busy; He sent me!" A smile goes a long way towards happiness Brother Love |
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #208 on: June 23, 2003, 01:51:24 PM » |
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PROOF OF GOD An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was not a God. He said, "God if You are real, then I want You to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a BIG 240 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said. The football player walked in the class room and in the last minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform. The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, ... "Where did you come from , And why did you do that?" The football player replied, " God was busy; He sent me!" A smile goes a long way towards happiness Brother Love Good One Bro |
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #209 on: June 23, 2003, 01:53:38 PM » |
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LOL good one A4C marriage<- means to a 6 yr old LOL> MARRIAGE BUT NO BABIES! A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Sure," his Young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!" LOL Sister "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!" |
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