Problems with Praying

[Holeinmysoul]

Does anyone else have trouble praying?  
I really need some guidance in this area. It's not that I don't want a intimate relationship with God - I do. And I know that without prayer, that kind of intimate relationship is impossible.

Maybe my problem is not believing God really cares or is listening. Maybe it's just not having enough of a heart knowledge of who God is (head knowledge only gets you so far etc). Or maybe it's believing that my prayers won't make a difference anyway.

So if anyone could help me, I'd really appreciate it

[Whitehorse]

Hi, friend! Welcome! Good to have you.

I just want to say that you're not alone. A lot of people have problems with prayer. Is it a lack of prayer, or is it a difficulty with seeing your prayers answered, or are you thinking more of discouragement while you're praying?

There are several things that can help here. I'll have more time tomorrow, but just ot get you started, it's good to set aside a spoecific time for prayer, and reserve that time for prayer only. I love to start with a really powerful praise album. Praise is actually a very powerful thing. I like Third Day Offerings,, or Michael W. Smith.

Personally, I like to write down my prayers, and periodically go through them to record the date they were answered and how. Zeal is a very big plus with God. Never a bad idea to check and make sure there isn't anything in your spiritual life that may be hindering your prayers. Oh-and this really helps: after praying, I wait with expectation. I look for an answer each day, eager, to watch for its arrival. God likes that a lot. And probably the most important is praying according to God's will as revealed in the Bible.

Well, that's about all I can think of for right now. How long have you been a Christian?

Blessings and peace,
Whitehorse

[Holeinmysoul]

Is it a lack of prayer, or is it a difficulty with seeing your prayers answered, or are you thinking more of discouragement while you're praying?

I would say it's probably a combination of all three.

How long have you been a Christian?

I have been a christian for about 5 years or so.
It's been more of a christian crawl than a walk though and it's really hard to keep on going

[ebia]

Is it a lack of prayer, or is it a difficulty with seeing your prayers answered, or are you thinking more of discouragement while you're praying?

I would say it's probably a combination of all three.

How long have you been a Christian?

I have been a christian for about 5 years or so.
It's been more of a christian crawl than a walk though and it's really hard to keep on going

It may not be what you want to hear, but being a Christian isn't always sweetness & light.  Sometimes it is a struggle.

[Holeinmysoul]

It may not be what you want to hear, but being a Christian isn't always sweetness & light.  Sometimes it is a struggle.

My christian walk is only bout struggle.

I do realise though, that being a christian isn't always sweetness & light for anyone, all of the time. But I think there is a difference between what i'm experiencing and a "normal" christian who struggles sometimes.

I guess what i'm after is some practical insight and help.

[ebia]

It may not be what you want to hear, but being a Christian isn't always sweetness & light.  Sometimes it is a struggle.

My christian walk is only bout struggle.

I do realise though, that being a christian isn't always sweetness & light for anyone, all of the time. But I think there is a difference between what i'm experiencing and a "normal" christian who struggles sometimes.

Don't be so sure.

[Royo]

Wow.
I was about to write about prayer in General Discussion, then felt God saying no to that. Guess now I know why.

From what you said, I can see that you already realize that first and foremost, prayer is what allows us to have a relationship with our Father God. We read the Bible to know ABOUT God; and through prayer we get to KNOW God.

Since God commands us to pray, let us determine WHY He commands us to pray. If I were your husband, and I wanted to spend some intimate time with you, I would want us to be comfortable enough with each other that we would feel we could talk about anything, and be totally honest with each other, without one judging the other. If we did not have this, we could not be intimate with each other. And to have an intimate relationship with each other, these things are a must. It is the same with God. He commands us to pray because He desires, above all else, to have an intimate relationship with us. But what I spoke of as a 'must' between a man and wife, is even more so with God.

When we come to God in prayer, we must know, with all our heart, that He loves us more than anyone else could ever love us. And we must know that He does not judge us, and accepts us for who we are. Again, if you were my wife, and I loved you with all my heart, I would accept you as you are, flaws and all. God sees us this way. Of course He wants and commands us to "go on unto perfection," but He does not expect that instantly, and our flaws do not effect His love for us. In fact, He loves us so much, that He allowed His only begotten Son to die for us, so that we COULD come to Him in intimate prayer, and have a relationship.

So first, we need to KNOW that He loves us, and that He very much wants to spend time with us. Again, just as if I were your husband, I would be counting the minutes till I got off work and could get home to spend time with you and tell you how much I love you. God also looks forward to the time we come to spend time with Him. It is why He created us, and why He sent His Son to die for us.

All I have said so far is so that you will see that you are not just going to ALMIGHTY GOD when you get in prayer with Him, but that you are going to spend time with Someone who is truly wanting to spend time with you. Because He so loves you, and so wants to express this to you, and also wants you to express this to Him. Thus, a  "relationship".

I think the biggest failing among Christians is that they really don't have much of a relationship with God. Oh, they love Him; they just aren't very good about getting with Him and telling Him this, and letting Him tell them how much He loves them. We either see God as the ALMIGHTY, whom we are not worthy enough for Him to have an intimate relationship with: or we see Him being "out there" somewhere, and not as He truly is; right inside of us. "The kingdom of God is within you."

Now what is just as important; we MUST see ourself as worthy to come into the presence of God our Father. Not worthy because of anything WE have done, but because of what JESUS has done. "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." [Hebrews 4.16]. We have been made so worthy by the blood of Jesus that we are to come BOLDLY to the throne of grace.

All that I have said is based on what the Word of God tells us about how God sees us, and how He wants to have a relationship with us. It is up to us to believe what His Word is telling us. A great man of God once said, "all Christians believe IN God, but few it seems BELIEVE God."  It is as Jesus said, "And all things, whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." [Matt. 21.22]. So many Christians today pray, HOPING God will answer, not BELIEVING he will answer. When Peter and John went to the gate beautiful and healed the lame man, Peter said, "silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazereth, rise up and walk." [Acts 3.6]. He did not pray HOPING that man would be healed, he KNEW that man would be healed. He prayed BELIEVING.

As with any relationship, there are times we have more time to spend together than other times. But, again, as with any relationship, it is not so much the amount of time spent, but the quality of the time spent. There are times in the morning when I only have time to say, good morning Lord,' beforesomething takes my attention and time. And then are other times when I get to spend an hour or more just basking in His love for me. And mine for Him. But even the quick "good morning" is said with love for Him in my heart. And He knows this.

Lastly I would like to say this: do not be concerned whether you are using the right words or not; (He knows what is in your heart and mind anyway); do not be concerned with whether you are on your knees or not, (you are on your knees in your heart); and always come to Him in praise.

I have by no means said all that I would like to say about prayer, but I feel I have said what He gave me to say to you, so I will end here with a prayer.

Father God, we know you love us with a love that cannot be measured. So I ask you now Father that you would touch her and show her how much you truly do love her, and how much you anxiously await for her to come and spend time with You. And Father, we thank You for sending Your Son Jesus so that we might be able to come unto You and experience Your amazing love. Amen.

[Holeinmysoul]

Don't be so sure.

Sorry? Don't be so sure bout what? About the fact that my christian walk is always a struggle or that "normal" christians only struggle sometimes?

[ebia]

Don't be so sure.

Sorry? Don't be so sure bout what? About the fact that my christian walk is always a struggle or that "normal" christians only struggle sometimes?

Sorry.

Don't be so sure that long term, even indefinite, periods of struggle aren't much more common that you'd think or people would care to admit.

No-one wants to be seen as struggling when everyone else seems to be fine, so we all tend to hide it and pretend everything's fine.  In our Christian walk as in every other aspect of life.

[Holeinmysoul]

Thanks royo for your reply  
I really do think that it is a matter of believing and trusting that God loves me and wants to spend time with me. At the moment I just struggle to believe that  

[Allinall]

Hello there!

I just wanted to say that if you're having trouble praying, there's something you can do to help: tell Him about it.  I know that this may sound trite, but seriously, prayer is about dependence.  It's not about how well we pray, or how well we word each prayer.  It might help you to know this:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:26-27

Right there we're told that none of us knows how to pray as we ought to pray, yet God, in His love and mercy, molds each prayer through the groanins of His Spirit to be acceptable.  That's why we can come boldly!  It will be made acceptable.  Again, it is about dependence.  Dependence upon God for what, and how we ask.

Here's another thing that helps me.  We don't "come to God in prayer."  Why do I say this?  Because that leaves us with the concept that when we're done praying, we leave God there.  Problem is, He has said that He will never leave us nor forsake us!  He is always with us - whether we acknowledge Him in prayer or not.  He is ready to hear us!  We are ever in His presence, and can boldly pray to Him accordingly.  

Having trouble praying?  Then tell Him!  Lean on Him, trust in Him, and know that He is using even those prayers you may deem worthless to mold your prayers into His will.  Keep praying!

[Whitehorse]

Thanks royo for your reply  
I really do think that it is a matter of believing and trusting that God loves me and wants to spend time with me. At the moment I just struggle to believe that  

This is a normal part of the christian walk. We have seasons in our faith, just like seasons in the year. Right now happens to be your winter.

Right now you're facing the most common and most difficult part of CHristian living, but there is a cure. You'll need to work at it. You'll fall back a couple of steps for every three forward for a while, but the reason people doubt Jesus's love is because of afflictive circumstances, or sin.

The cure is to focus on His love as a part of His character. Don't look at your circumstances, look at Him. He loves us not because we are worthy, but because He is.

For afflictive circumstances, read Psalm 88. Read Psalm 119. The book of Lamentations, especially chapter three, because that is where the circumstances are. For encouragement when struggling with sin, look at David, and especially King Manasseh (2 Chronicles chapter 33.)

The key is not to base your assessments of God's love on your own assessment of yourself or your circumstances. God's greatest servants suffered the most, because it made them the most sanctified and fit for service and the kingdom of heaven. If you tell us more about why you feel this way, it can help us help you, too. But these are the most common reasons.

*hug*

[Tibby]

Sometimes people can just go through dry spells. It is ok. Maybe you are going about it wrong? When and how do you pray? Do you read your bible and/or worship him in conjunction with it?

[Holeinmysoul]

The key is not to base your assessments of God's love on your own assessment of yourself or your circumstances. God's greatest servants suffered the most, because it made them the most sanctified and fit for service and the kingdom of heaven. If you tell us more about why you feel this way, it can help us help you, too. But these are the most common reasons.
*hug*

Thankyou for the encouragement. It does help to know that even the greatest of God's servants suffered also. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to prayer. When I'm by myself praying, it never sounds right and I can't get out what I want to say. I have alot of fears in my life that I know get in the way of me knowing God intimately so that adds to the problem.  

[Holeinmysoul]

Sometimes people can just go through dry spells. It is ok. Maybe you are going about it wrong? When and how do you pray? Do you read your bible and/or worship him in conjunction with it?

I use to read my bible heaps but kinda got out of the habit. To me, praying is just conversing with God - no right way or wrong. Although I don't feel my prayers sound right, I know that God still accepts childlike prayers, imperfections and all. But I fully agree, that reading the bible and worship should be part of communicating with God.

Actually, maybe the real problem is not wanting to be honest with God about how I feel sometimes.
(I can get kinda angry with God bout things that seem so unfair) And not wanting to hear what he has to say in case it hurts.

That may sound pathetic but when you've been hurt alot in life, it's hard to be vulnerable.