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Jesus Christ loves you.
276532 Posts in 26174 Topics by 3790 Members
Latest Member: Goodwin
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1  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 05:17:42 PM
Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.
¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢

Democrats in state legislatures are at their lowest level since the 1920s. President Obama has a can't-miss strategy to save the party in 2016. He's leaving.
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

During a campaign event, former presidential nominee Bob Dole told the crowd that Mitt Romney should run for president in 2016. If there's anyone who knows that the third time is a charm, it's a guy who lost three times.
2  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 05:15:05 PM
This week Joe Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, 'Whichever comes first.
########@#@@###

Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$%%

A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it's drinking mixed with politics.
3  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 05:10:40 PM
Hillary Clinton said she wants to travel this year, and won't make any announcements about her plans to run for president until 2015. When asked where she'll travel, she said, 'New Hampshire, Iowa, and maybe spend a few months in Florida.
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In an interview Hillary Clinton said that she and her husband were dead broke when they left the White House. Hillary said things were so bad, the two of them needed to share a bedroom.
####$@####@####

It's really starting to look like Hillary Clinton's going to run. The digital team behind both of President Obama's campaigns is already preparing for a Hillary Clinton run. They're starting early because they've got to delete 10 years of Bill Clinton's browser history.
4  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 05:06:44 PM
Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.
##########$#

Hellary Clinton is the leading presidential contender for the Democrats. Former Clinton aide John Podesta said Helllary will highlight her differences with President Obama if she runs. The biggest difference: Hellary is still interested in being president."
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In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Hellary Clinton said she would make her decision on running for president 'by the end of the year.' Specifically, the year 1998.
5  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 04:56:58 PM
According to an email from his staff, Donald Trump is set to announce on June 16 whether he will run for president. Seriously? At this point, Donald Trump announcing whether he's running for president is like soccer's World Cup — it happens every four years and no one in America cares.
##########$#####

Texas Senator Ted Cruz officially announced that he's running for president. Cruz said that after doing exhaustive research to see if he had a real chance to win, he said, 'I'm gonna run anyway.
################

Presidential hopeful Lindsey Graham, who is single, said today that if elected he will have a 'rotating first lady.' Even creepier, he said it on Tinder.
6  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 14, 2016, 04:50:34 PM
Donald Trump said yesterday that if he's elected, he would 'probably not talk as much.' That's right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless.
#################

In a new campaign ad, Jeb Bush referenced 'The Godfather' and said his nickname used to be 'Veto Corleone' because he vetoed so many bills in Florida. When you're the third person in your family to run for president, maybe you shouldn't bring up a movie trilogy where the third one was clearly the worst.



7  Theology / Bible Study / Re: A.W. Tozer, Bible studies and sermons on: July 14, 2016, 04:44:44 PM
God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which he must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves
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Jesus calls us to his rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort.
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Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshipers met together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become 'unity' conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship.

From the book by A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
8  Theology / Bible Study / Re: A.W. Tozer, Bible studies and sermons on: July 13, 2016, 09:53:08 PM
I agree brother Tom and his writings carry on today as when he wrote his sermons, and Bible studies.
9  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 13, 2016, 12:15:11 PM
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will begin fundraising for a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the end of January. No word on what his platform will be, but if I know Christie it'll be really strong, maybe double reinforced steel."
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"It's rumored that Chris Christie and Mitt Romney are planning to meet to overcome any lingering awkwardness from the 2012 election. Incidentally, 'Lingering Awkwardness' was actually Mitt Romney's Secret Service code name."
############

"Potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush will release a decade's worth of tax returns to avoid comparisons to Mitt Romney. Yeah, they're nothing alike. They're just both former governors from wealthy families whose parents gave them super-weird names."
10  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 13, 2016, 12:12:00 PM
Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns."
_-----------------------;-----

"Today MS Fiorina announced that she is running for president. Someone else bought 'Car#@iorina.org' and posted 30,000 sad emoticons to represent all the people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard. I haven't seen that many sad, blank faces in one place since the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight."
11  Theology / Bible Study / Re: A.W. Tozer, Bible studies and sermons on: July 13, 2016, 12:07:34 PM
We now demand glamour and fast-flowing dramatic action. A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals...The tragic results of this spirit all all about us: shallow lives, hollow religious philosophies...the glorification of men, trust is religious externalities....salesmanship methods, the mistaking of dynamic personality for the power of the Spirit. These and such of these are the symptoms of an evil disease

By A.W. Tozer, from his book: The Pursuit of God
12  Theology / Bible Study / Re: A.W. Tozer, Bible studies and sermons on: July 13, 2016, 11:51:34 AM
"There is within the human heart a tough fibrous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always to possess. It covets `things' with a deep and fierce passion. The pronouns `my' and `mine' look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant. They express the real nature of the old Adamic man better than a thousand volumes of theology could do. They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease. The roots of our hearts have grown down into things, and we dare not pull up one rootlet lest we die. Things have become necessary to us, a development never originally intended. God's gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution.

From his book by A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
13  Theology / Bible Study / Re: A.W. Tozer, Bible studies and sermons on: July 13, 2016, 11:44:22 AM
The world is perishing for lack of the knowledge of God and the Church is famishing for want of His Presence..
++++++++++++++++++

Millions call themselves by His name, it is true, and pay some token homage to Him, but a simple test will show how little He is really honored among them. Let the average man be put to the proof on the question of who or what is ABOVE, and his true position will be exposed. Let him be forced into making a choice between God and money, between God and men, between God and personal ambition, God and self, God and human love, and God will take second place every time. Those other things will be exalted above. However the man may protest, the proof is in the choice he makes day after day throughout his life.
+++++++++++!+++++

Let us practice the fine art of making every work a priestly ministration. Let us believe that God is in all our simple deeds and learn to find Him there.

From A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
14  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 13, 2016, 01:14:22 AM

"During a speech on Friday, Senator Ted Cruz said that if you walk up to someone and say 'Joe Biden,' the person will crack up laughing. Which is the same reaction you get if you say 'President Ted Cruz.”
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"Yesterday in Iowa just four supporters showed up to eat lunch with Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum. It's always a bad sign when your entire voter base can fit in a deli booth."
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"Donald Trump said over the weekend that his decision whether to run for president is going to make a lot of people very happy. That's too bad. I was hoping he would run."
15  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: 2016 Political Jokes on: July 13, 2016, 01:11:42 AM
"Bernie Sanders made around $2,000 last year for two speeches and a TV appearance, compared to the $25 million the Clintons made. Making him the first person in history to run for president just because he really needs the money."
======[============

"In an interview yesterday, Lindsey Graham discussed his foreign policy and said if people are worn out by war, quote, 'Don't vote for me.' Graham's supporters appreciate his honesty, while his opponents appreciate the sound bite they can use in their attack ads."
===================

"On the Republican side, today former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he is running for president. While growing up he wanted to be a veterinarian, but his grades weren't good enough. Luckily for us, now he wants to be in charge of people."

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