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October 15, 2019, 09:54:24 PM

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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
281887 Posts in 27364 Topics by 3790 Members
Latest Member: Goodwin
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1  Fellowship / You name it!! / Re: Coffee Time! on: January 01, 2019, 08:58:15 PM
I'm glad you're enjoying it. We're happy to have you back.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Brother, I may only be here a couple times a week, I've been busy at home. With this last snowfall I was hit hard, we got 8 inches of snow. I did post a few things on muslims, they are at it again

Resting in the arms of the Lord
Bob
2  Theology / Prophecy - Current Events / Re: Muslims now claim Christian beliefs 'mock Islam' on: January 01, 2019, 08:51:51 PM

Fatwa issued against Christmas
'Also includes a prohibition against the New Year's celebration'
Published: 4 hours ago

A ministry that works in support of persecuted Christians worldwide reports it had joyful news this holiday season: the government’s cabinet in Iraq declared Christmas a national holiday this year.

But then Sheikh Abdul Madhi al-Sumaidaie torpedoed the whole idea. He issued a fatwa, an Islamic religious decree, that forbade Muslims from participating in celebrations “of the cross” or even congratulating Christians during the season.

“The fatwa also includes a prohibition against the New Year’s celebration, which is often mistakenly assumed to be an official Christian holiday,” the ICC report confirmed.


Read more at https://www.wnd.com/2019/01/fatwa-issued-against-christmas/#R0OeaDTACOP6VvXl.99
3  Theology / Prophecy - Current Events / Muslims now claim Christian beliefs 'mock Islam' on: January 01, 2019, 08:29:08 PM

Jesus as Son of God? Muslims now claim Christian beliefs 'mock Islam'

A Christian commentator isn’t saying, “I told you so.”

But he could.

With the most recent developments in Uganda, where, according to a Washington Times report, Muslims are now considering “any public statement of the Christian faith,” to be an insult to Muslims.

And then they believe they can “justifiably exact revenge.”

Including violent attacks against Christians making statements about their faith.


Read more at: https://www.wnd.com/2018/12/jesus-as-son-of-god-muslims-now-claim-christian-beliefs-mock-islam/#UOkI0uthlP8wT27U.99
4  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:43:41 PM

How to Tell the Weather

To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
     
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
     
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
     
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
     
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
     
Sincerely,
The CAT
5  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:41:14 PM

Horsing Around

Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race."
     
There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you're sure to win. What do you think of that?".
     
The horses looked at one another and said "WOW, a talking dog!"
6  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:38:41 PM

The Hamster and the Frog

A mangy looking guy walks into a very classy restaurant and orders a steak. The waitress says: "I'm sorry, but I don't think you can pay for your meal." The guy admits, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me my supper?"
     
The waitress, both curious and compassionate, says, "Only if what you show me isn't risque."
     
"Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the ground and it runs across the room, directly to a piano. The hamster then proceeds to climb up the piano, and starts playing Gershwin songs.
     
The waitress says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy sits back and enjoys a fine steak supper with all the trimmings.
     
Shortly thereafter, he asks the waitress, "Can I have a piece of that fine blueberry pie I see on the dessert cart over there?" "Only if you got another miracle up your sleeve", says the waitress. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the table, and the frog starts to sing up a storm!
     
A stranger from a nearby table runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the restaurant with dollar signs in his eyes and a big smile on his face.
     
The waitress says to the guy "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions!"
     
"No", says
7  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:36:55 PM

Gone to the Dogs

There was this man that had a dog. He came home one day, and his dog was belly up with its legs sticking in the air.
     
He wasn't sure if it was dead or not, so he took it to the vet. He told the vet of his problem, and the vet said that there was a sure-fire way to see if the dog is indeed dead.
     
He left the room and returned with a cat. He rubbed the cat in the dogs face, and after a while came to the conclusion that the dog was indeed dead.
     
The man was upset and asked the doctor how much he owed him. The doctor said, "$550" The man was stunned. He asked the doctor to explain and the doctor said, "Fifty for the visit, and 500 for the cat-scan..."
8  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:35:24 PM

Poisonous

Two snakes were slithering through a field. One snake turned to the other and asked, " Do you suppose we are poisonous snakes?"
     
"I don't know", replied the other, "Why?"
     
"Well", said the first, "I just bit my lip"
9  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:33:41 PM

A Fish Tale

A big-time negotiator was out fishing one day when he caught a strange looking fish. He reeled the fish in, unhooked it, and threw it on the ground next to him. The fish started writhing in agony and, to the negotiator's surprise, said, "Please throw me back into the lake and I'll grant you three wishes."
     
"Any three wishes, huh?" the negotiator mused as visions of expensive fast cars and beautiful women paraded through his head.
     
"Fish," he finally exclaimed, "Give me five wishes and I'll throw you back."
     
"Sorry," the fish answered while struggling for breath, "only three wishes."
     
The negotiator's pride was at stake and after giving the matter some thought he announced, "What do you take me for? A sucker? I'll settle for four wishes."
     
"Only three," the fish murmured weakly.
     
Fuming, the man debated the pros and cons of accepting the three wishes or continuing to bargain for that one extra wish. Finally, the negotiator decided it wasn't worth looking a gift fish in the mouth and said "All right fish, you win, three wishes."
     
Unfortunately, by then the fish was dead.
10  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:23:36 PM

Not Quite What He Wanted

A hunter raised his rifle and took careful aim at a large bear. When about to pull the trigger, the bear spoke in a soft soothing voice, "Isn't it better to talk than to shoot? What do you want? Let's negotiate the matter."
     
Lowering his rifle, the hunter replied, "I want a fur coat."
     
"Good," said the bear, "that is a negotiable item. I only want a full stomach, so let us sit down and negotiate a compromise."
     
They sat down to negotiate and after a time the bear walked away, alone. The negotiations had been successful.
     
The bear had a full stomach, and the hunter had his fur coat!
11  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:21:49 PM

Wake Up Call

Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. . .
     
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
     
Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
     
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back.
     
"Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't have a dog."
12  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:19:57 PM

Doggie Contest


Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
     
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
     
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
     
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said "How well can you do?" Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
     
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"
     
The last of the three, tiny in stature, but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, "Liver alone. Cheese mine."
13  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:17:52 PM

Beware of Dog

Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
     
"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
     
"Yep, that's him," came the reply.
     
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
     
"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
14  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:16:06 PM

Bear Alert

The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Yosemite and Mammoth areas.
     
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bear unexpectedly. They also advise carrying pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.
     
It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity and know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.
     
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.
15  Entertainment / Laughter (Good Medicine) / Re: Clean Jokes on: January 01, 2019, 07:13:13 PM

The Christian Horse

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"
     
The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."
     
Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok."
     
So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.
     
"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"
     
Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"
     
The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."
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