I would appreciate any prayer support.
Thank You.

I already feel as if tremendous damage is being done. I feel damaged. My spirit is broken.  This is one of the most painful experiences I have ever had because I want to trust these people and I look to them for guidance... and they seem like complete frauds.
On the one hand I feel no one (even in ministry) is spotless... I would not be one to "cast the first stone" so to speak. On the other hand - if people had a position other than what we claim as our doctrine they should have spoken out rather than "play the game".  One of the women who has known about this all along is same person I have often heard judging and putting down members who have not been raised in the church. It makes me think that being raised "in the church" is like being in some kind of a privileged social club where there are all sorts of unwritten rules ... but very little integrity.  I think these kinds of things are the reason so many don't go to church anymore.

The problem is that this person was so very dedicated to the church. He was always there working - people didn't think he had a life at all outside of the church. The whole time I'm fairly sure he was living with this person, only a few people knew... nevertheless his tireless service was real.
When the issue of gay marriage  came to the forefront politically, I believe he started distancing himself, and then "leaving hints".  I truly feel that he was probably one of the most hard working, dedicated people the church ever had on staff. To me it is not so black and white because I care about all of the people involved, they are like my family. I care about this person and feel awful for what it most have been like to sit through those sermons.  What bothers me most is that people are divided into those who know and those who don't. Those who know, I feel, are patronizing those who don't. Since when do we need to be protected from the truth? Is that not the ultimate hypocrisy? Worst of all it is hard for me to imagine that our head Pastor, who preaches that the lifestyle is not acceptable to God, and that Gays can reform, doesn't know. How can he not know?

I know this makes no sense but I have been really disturbed about my participation at my church now that I discovered that our choir director is in a gay relationship and living with another choir director( who will be giving a concert at our church next month.) They have been kind of sloppy about keeping their life together secret and I just sense a scandal brewing.
I know I am a grown up and this shouldn't disturb me to the extent it does, but our church has made its position on gay marriage very clear, and I feel this one man is making the church leadership seem like a bunch of hypocrites.
I never could settle in my mind how I felt about homosexuality (whether or not is was a sin) mostly because I just didn't want to think about it.  I don't like to judge people harshly and I'm not sure I believe being gay is a choice.  But in this case I feel there is so much deception, and real selfishness.  I felt for some time that he was taking his resentment toward the church for its position on gay marriage out on the choir ... its all rather complicated, but I do feel the choir and the congregation and worship have suffered  as a result of this double life. I quit the choir because I couldn't take it anymore.