It is great to see a Christian forum where we can help each other through different aspects of our Christian walk with the Lord. I have been born and raised in a Christian home. My mom struggled when she was young and when I was growing up. I didn't receive the guidance that a child should have. I don't blame my parents for this because I know the circumstances involved with my mom's struggles. (She lost her dad by murder, lost her son through cancer, and her grandfather was killed in an accident.)
I was lost for many years allowing myself to get involved in drinking, smoking and other things I would rather not mention. Through all this I know God was watching over me because here I am loving Him and longing for Him to use me in any way that He can (with Him all things are possible to those who love Him). I rededicated my life in November of 2006. I have 3 children and I believe that He is using them even though I have made many mistakes. I met a man at Church and have been married for 10 years. Our marriage started out rocky through my unfaithfullness to him, but he remained faithful to me and has stuck with me through that. We have struggled with finances and both of us have struggled with smoking. I just want to be totally committed to Jesus and I feel confused. I lack the motivation and am consumed with the thought that I can't please God with smoking. I read my Bible almost daily and I Pray everyday, I praise God everytime I think about Him, I thank Him always for His blessings in our life. I ask Him to take away the desire to smoke. I even quit smoking for 2 months. I started smoking again using the excuse that it calms me down and helps me. I know that I am suppose to lean on Jesus, but it seems so hard. Is it wrong to smoke? What is the difference in smoking and over eating? I want to be a member of my church, but I feel I won't be accepted because I smoke. I keep my habit from my children because they were so proud of me when I quit. I have been baptised and filled with the Holy Spirit. I can't express to you how much I love the Lord and how I know without Him I can do nothing. I hope you look on me as a Sister in Christ, let him without sin cast the first stone if he will. I know the power of having Christian communication and right now I need that so badly. Thanks!!!