Hello all, i'm brand-spankin'-new to this forum and i'm really excited to meet people that I will hopefully be spend eternity with. I do have a big delema on my hands though and it would be great to get some feedback on how to deal with it. So...

I've been saved for about a year now, i've been involved with church since a young childhood but i've finally realized what being a christian is all about. I've recently moved to Louisiana and became involved in a completely different type of christianity. Until about two months ago I had no idea what the holy ghost was, nor of the existance. As a baptist, in my church in Texas, the holy ghost was not preached about. When I asked my father(a youth minister/preacher) what the deal was, he just told me that the comforter is only meantioned in small parts of the bible and others choose to spend more time focusing on those small parts of the bible and he had not been called by god to accept the holy ghost. I on the other hand, feel that I need the ideal fulfillment of the holy ghost. I hate the feeling of conviction when I make the conscious choice to do wrong, when in a understanding state of mind/ It's like I can't not sin. For example, smoking, lust, or gotcha21 are all things I cannot help but do. Before doing so, in the act of, and afterwards I feel ashamed but I can't help it. I'll debate for large amounts of time whether or not to do them, telling myself no, follow christ, allow jesus to work in you, everything, and still to no prevail. I have grown tremendously in my walk with jesus and changed many things, but I still feel angry when i'm so weak, I want the holy ghost but it wont come. I prayed to God and in church they told me to just speak in tongue... I assume because it's been hardwired into my brain that it's just a way for some. But I am open, I just don't feel the need to speak in tongue, nothing comes out of my mouth. It's not that i'm "too cute" for god, it's just the way I feel I am. My understanding of the bible is growing but it needs more work, I grasp concepts and relate to almost every sermon, and I spend much time praying and asking for relief. It seems like there's nothing more I can do! Anyone have any suggestions or helpful bible verses they can send my way? Thanks for any help and I have a feeling it's gonna be nice to be here...