Just a note from someone who cares about what you are going through. To someone who has never experienced the other side of life, quoting scripture is the easiest advice. However, the truth is, that you are going through a real struggle and you need to know that others have gone through the same things. The best answer that I can offer is this: I once lived that life and there is absolutely NO satisfaction in it. It leads to much misery, pain, and anguish. It sinply comes down to what you want most in life. Will it be our Father with all the peace and goodness that He offers or will it be the world with all the misery that it offers?