This is cardinal1. I'm a seminary-trained minister with a lot of pain in my life in the past as well, who has learned joy in Jesus Christ. As just one example, when I was 14 years old, I was so desperate for girls to like me, with me being overweight, very much physically unattractive, and backward at the time, I put a love spell on myself as an act of desperation. God showed me that what I needed was not a spell, but Himself: He gives all the love and power I will ever need. I feel a lot of pain in your words screaming out for help. I pray that my words can be part of what you need. Please let me share a few things I've learned to feel God's love.  

For one, I urge you, please, if you don't read and study the Bible everyday, please do so. That's one of the first things you need. Please read, study and pray over scriptures like Psalm 23. If you don't have a quality study Bible, please, either buy or borrow a Life Application Study Bible. That is a great one to carry around and use.

Again, I urge you, please, make a daily time or more often as needed to pray to God. Use the Lord's Prayer in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapter 6:verses 9 through 13) as a guide. Another way is to just life your eyes up to God and cry, "Help! Take away this pain! Make me a joyful person!"

Also, if you are not in a church that truly shares the Bible and lives out the Christian life, please join one as soon as possible. When you are in a Holy Spirit-led local assembly, that group together is stronger than one person alone.

I know by experience in my walk with Jesus that these basic steps work. I know they will for you, too, if you will just reach out and use them. God loves you. It is His will that you be a joyful person. So take all the time you need to deal with your pain with these three basic steps. I know I had to. I still have struggles now, but I'm learning how to deal with them much better.

Here is my e mail if I can be of further help:
bradyebbrd@aol.com. I will be changing internet providers sometime in the near future, so I hope you contact me before I make the switch, so you can still find me.

Shalom (God's completeness).

Hello, brothers and sisters in Christ!

I'm looking for more Christian friends. I am a faithful member of a local church. I go to a local Christian singles group.

I listen mainly to the emotions behind people's words. I plan on starting a DVD collection, maybe on Bugs Bunny. I have an adorable Terrier mix named "Blondie." I want to get back into camping and hiking. I exercize with a Body Bow.

I am a 49-year-old white single. I live in metro Atlanta.

I sing bass in the choir and play church organ (I get compliments on my playing keyboards). I am learning how to be a prayer warrior. I can really tell the difference when I pray that way!!! I am a seminary-trained minister that God has led to write gospel music. I am one of the elders in the church.  

Here is my running prayer request: I'm looking for a wife.

Shalom (God's completeness), Erwin