I am currently raising a strong willed child and no how difficult it can be
I takes a lot of patience and depending on the relationship with the child and if you guys have similiar personalities you have to try to see things from the child point of veiw and then decide what the best course of action is to take. My child happens to thrive of my moods if I stay calm and cool he is well behaved pretty much. Of course he is still stubborn and wants to have his way but when I let him know with out losing it that it is not going to happen and there is not any way around it then he does as he is told. My son used to throw massive fits that would require me or my husband to physically restrain him. One time at church it took three very large men to restrain him because he didn't want to go to sunday school. But with a lot of consistancy and love and strict discipline he has mellowed quite a bit. He still relapses everynow and then but that is just part of his personallity. You say your parents wanted you to be submissive to their authority and to a certain extent that should be expected but to always have keeps the child from expressing his or herself and really is kind of lazzy on the parents part, not that I am calling you lazy because I would never judge you, I don't even know you but I does sound like when she questions or gives you a hard time you get extremely frustrated and really all you have to let her know is that she can talk all day long you are not going to change your mind and also she has to understand that if she keeps talking about something you have settled on that there will be consequences like grounding or taking the car away or the phone or what ever is most precious to her. I haven't seen where you are giving her any reason to stop. You are arunning from her and acting as if you are more afraid of her then anything else.