ChristiansUnite Forums

Theology => Apologetics => Topic started by: Krazeekkc on September 05, 2003, 07:15:19 PM



Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Krazeekkc on September 05, 2003, 07:15:19 PM
I don't mean to be rude but, here's the joke:


An Atheist

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."
 

       


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Ambassador4Christ on September 05, 2003, 07:37:46 PM
LOL ;D

A young lady came home from a date and her mother could see she had been crying. "What's wrong dear?" asked the mother.

"Oh Mom!" said the girl "My boyfriend asked me to marry him tonight!"

"What's the matter dear, don't you love him?" asked the mother.

"I do love him" said the girl... "But tonight he told me that he's an atheist! He doesn't even believe there is a hell mom!!!"

The mother just smiled and said "You marry him anyway ... between the two of us we'll show him just how wrong he is!"

 ;D


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Krazeekkc on September 05, 2003, 07:41:35 PM
 ;D ;D ;D LOL


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Left Coast on September 06, 2003, 03:30:58 AM
LOL ;D
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 09, 2003, 04:44:09 AM
LOL ;D
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."


Right On, LOL :)

Brother Love :)


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 09, 2003, 05:16:29 AM
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Brother Love :)


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Ambassador4Christ on September 09, 2003, 03:16:31 PM
All the above jokes get  ;D ;D ;D ;D

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."  ;D



Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: AAAAmember on September 09, 2003, 05:37:31 PM
Krazeekc - your joke was horrible.

The rest were fairly cute.

~AAAA


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Tibby on September 09, 2003, 06:20:51 PM
come on, laugh a little. :D


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Saved_4ever on September 09, 2003, 06:34:53 PM
come on, laugh a little. :D

I don't think that'll happen.  She seems to have a mighty close relationship with a broom poll.     :D


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Tibby on September 09, 2003, 06:37:15 PM
lol, that was the funniest Joke on this thread yet!


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Krazeekkc on September 09, 2003, 06:45:47 PM
Krazeekc - your joke was horrible.

The rest were fairly cute.

~AAAA
Well, I'm so sorry you feel that way!!!  ;D ;D ;D ::)


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 10, 2003, 04:40:02 AM
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"


Brother Love :)


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 10, 2003, 04:41:34 AM
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

Brother Love :)


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: 3wells on September 10, 2003, 06:25:51 AM
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son had turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian.
Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I too brought my boy up in the faith, put him through university, cost me a fortune, then one day he too comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the lawyer.

"I turned to God for the answer", replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the lawyer.

God said, 'Funny you should come to me ...' "


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 10, 2003, 06:31:18 AM
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son had turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian.
Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I too brought my boy up in the faith, put him through university, cost me a fortune, then one day he too comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the lawyer.

"I turned to God for the answer", replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the lawyer.

God said, 'Funny you should come to me ...' "

Good One

Brother Love :)


Title: Re:Christian Joke!
Post by: Tibby on September 10, 2003, 12:56:01 PM
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son had turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian.
Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I too brought my boy up in the faith, put him through university, cost me a fortune, then one day he too comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the lawyer.

"I turned to God for the answer", replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the lawyer.

God said, 'Funny you should come to me ...' "

Good One

Brother Love :)

Yeah, this is a trip! You can also hear God, in a NY Jew accent, saying that, lol.


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Ambassador4Christ on September 10, 2003, 04:37:45 PM
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.” ;D ;D
 


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 11, 2003, 04:03:18 AM
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.” ;D ;D
 

LOL :)

Brother Love :)


Title: Christian Joke!
Post by: Brother Love on September 11, 2003, 06:35:43 AM
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below  would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, “I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
 :)

Brother Love :)