NEED ADVICE ON MAKING UNFRIENDLY NEIGHBORS *MY FRIENDS.

[ROBIN]

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UNFRIENDLY NEIGHBORS
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     Can anyone give me some advice???  I have some unfriendly neighbors that I would like to make friends with (in order to live in a peaceful and friendly environment).  Tell me how to go about making them my friends.
     My neighbors are X heroin addicts who now drink very heavily every weekend.  I am new to the area but my husband has been knowing them for about 3 years.  Since I have been here, 1 1/2 yrs, I have not gone out to drink (beer, whiskey and wine) with them on the weekends, because I do not drink, and that made them very upset.  My husband, who has accepted Jesus as his savior, has stopped going out to drink with them because in the past he would over drink, end up vomiting and passing out.  But now they have become very angry with me because my husbnd no longer sits and drinks with them on the weekend.  They have accused me of taking away their friend.  If my husband goes out to sit with them while they drink, he will soon be tempted to drink himself; he is a babe in Christ.  I have invited them over for coffee, but they did not come.  I have also invited them  to my husband's birthday dinner (which is not scheduled until September of this year).  I am hoping that they will come so that we can become friends.  How shall I remedy this?  How can I make them my friends with out jeopardizing my husband's well being?  I will take any advice you may have.  Thank you!    

[TigerLily]

Hi robin, i just got your IM and read your post..
this is quite a hard problem your in and i truly feel for you and your husband,, i agree totally with the decision yous made to not put your husband into temptations way. as far as how to make them your frienbds and still not allow yourselves to get involved with thier way of life.. im sorry but i myslef will have to think about this for a few minutes, i will likley IM you.. one obvious way is to pray and ask God to help u to be friendsly and be a witness and i believe totally that he will show you how to do this and to keep yourselves outta temptation, I will pray with you as well but i will IM you in a small bit with some ideas to see if i can help you, im posting now so that you wouls know i got your message and have my thinking cap in gear and am praying with you..
Luv Tigerlily

[IrishAngel]

Hi Robin, nice to meet you  

I hesitate to respond to your note, simply because I  so disagree with your approach to your husbands new found christianity, and  the approach you`ve taken with your as yet unsaved neighbors...where is Gods power in this picture your painting, and arnt you coming across as my place is good enough for you, but yours is not good enough for us? I`m not surprised your husbands former friends are taking the offence, if he was friendly before he got saved with them, I would think the grace and power of God at work in his life would make him all that much more friendly now? (and no I dont mean he`s got to drink with them) I personally believe, if one is faithful to spending time in prayer and the word, he wont be afraid to get 'down in the ditch' where he came from, to show others the way out, just something for you to ponder.There but for the grace of God go I.

[IrishAngel]

Good write up

Like a Good Neighbor

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2003/002/8.55.html

[Whitehorse]

You can't. If you are in Christ, and they are not, you are enemies. The only exception to this is when you have someone who is seeking the Lord but is not saved yet. As it is written:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are a temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." "Therefore come out of them and be separate," says the Lord. "Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters," says the Lord Almighty. Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. II Corinthians 6:14-7:1

So, congratulations! You already did the right thing! (And no, you weren't being arrogant; you were doing what God would have you to do.) But now we have a problem. If this scripture establishes all unbelievers as enemies, how do we then treat them? It is written:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

This doesn't take away their status as enemies, though, and there will always be a temptation to love them for Christ, but in ways God has not commanded, like seeking their company to prove you don't hate them. Don't do it, unless it is purely evangelical and you're sure of that, for it is written:

Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. I Corinthians 15:33

It's really, really important to guard against any attempt to establish friendship in order to escape persecution. You'll be persecuted by these people from now on, for the reasons given in II Corinthians 6:14-7:1, and that's not a bad thing, either! It may feel like it sometimes, but it's not! For it is written:

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:11-12

It will be hard sometimes, but be very careful not to become discouraged when this happens, and don't back down, either from your righteousness, your witness, your separation from them, or your kindness and prayers for them. For it is written:

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

Your good deeds are noble and were meant to be seen! Congratulations. Other Christians will be inspired by your stick-to! And you will be persecuted. But this is a blessing, so study the riches of God when you feel tempted to befriend them, and you will see why these riches are indeed worth any suffering you may endure. Many blessings to you. I'm proud of you and your husband, and I pray that God will strengthen you annd give you all the wisdom you desire for handling the intricacies of this situation.

Blessings,
Whitehorse

[TigerLily]

i been thinking of this and the only thing i really have to say is pray and ask God how u can be a witness to these people  and still keep your convictions, i havent been in this situation so i cant truly say what i think u should or shouldnt do,, Only God can show u and he'll give you the words to say and let u know how to act and what to do!!
Will keep you and yours in prayer..
luv TL

[IrishAngel]

To respond to a few points  "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" was written specifically concerning marriage was it not?

quote: "If this scripture establishes all unbelievers as enemies..."   It does not.

.
quote: "Don't do it, unless it is purely evangelical and you're sure of that, for it is written:

Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. I Corinthians 15:33"

Are we not givin the gift of salvation purely for reaching the lost?  

 KJV says "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.Corinthians 15:33"   curious to know what Bible you are using wh?

(Luke 19:7) "And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner."

The publicans or tax-collectors were the most hated people among the Jews. They were usually the out-casts among the people, considered to be moral lepers, with whom respectable people would not associate. Zacchaeus "was the chief of the publicans, and he was rich." But, with all his wealth, his countrymen hated him. They would not speak to him on the street. No one would go into his house. He was looked down on and avoided if he dared go into the Temple.

But our Lord made it a practice to break through these rules. He did not bow to the traditional rules of society. He spoke to the publicans, and went into their houses, and became known as, "the friend of publicans and sinners." Any one who was a friend of publicans was consider to be as wicked as they.

But this did not keep our Lord from being "the friend of publicans and sinners." At the beginning of His ministry He spoke to the woman at the well who had 5 husbands, and finished it with pardon to a thief while He was hanging on the cross. His whole life was a "seeking and saving that which was lost."

I fail to see where the Word makes my neighbor my enemy...but rather tells me to befriend them,  witness to them, show them the love of Christ in all I say and do.



May God bless you with His Love, Peace and Truth.

[sincereheart]

ROBIN, Wow! Tough spot to be in!   This should definitely keep you in prayer! It sounds like it will be tough for awhile but it also sounds like He has put you there for a reason.

Matthew 9:11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
(also in Luke 5 and Mark 2)

We, as Christians, are no better than they are. We have simply accepted the gift of grace that's been offered. Are they any less worthy than we are? Are there sins worse than ours? Have any us become sinless? So I would have to say that you cannot turn your back on them! However, I would also say that you need to be be cautious especially so that your husband won't be led back to that lifestyle!

If you aren't comfortable visiting at their house, then work on building up a non-partying relationship first. It will be extremely slow going so your patience may be tested. You may think there will be no change and it may get worse before it gets better so your faith may be tested. And you cannot fix it on your own! But the Lord CAN use you in this~

Just remember that missionaries risk their lives daily and leave their homes and their countries to reach out to those unsaved (i.e. LOST) and some have a mission field that's right next door!  

Luke 5:32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Luke 15:1 Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."

Luke 15:4b ...Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?
7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Well, you get the idea....

[Whitehorse]

To respond to a few points  "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" was written specifically concerning marriage was it not?

Well, if you look at the rest of the verse, it talks about the general positions of Christ and Belial. Light and darkness. I know the verse you're referring to, but the rest of the scripture shows a clear distinction in fellowship. Obviously Christ was never married to Belial. But the verse uses that illustration, which would be inappropriate only for that context. So it wouldn't be referring just to marriage. Even friendship is a yoking. "What fellowship does light have with darkness?" That is talking about fellowship. Is marriage the only fellowship? Therefore you don't have to be married to be yoked.

quote: "If this scripture establishes all unbelievers as enemies..."   It does not.

If you feel it doesn't, I'd need to see an argument from scripture that proves your point.

.

quote: "Don't do it, unless it is purely evangelical and you're sure of that, for it is written:

Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. I Corinthians 15:33"

Are we not givin the gift of salvation purely for reaching the lost?  

No, it's for restored fellowship between us and our God, and we share that. And like I say, that is evangelical, not friendship. Because what would you do with those verses above? They're scripture.

KJV says "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.Corinthians 15:33"   curious to know what Bible you are using wh?

NIV. But the meaning is still the same, even if the English language has changed somewhat over time. To prove my point on this, I refer you to the previous verse, and I will use the KJV that you're using to make the point: If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesis, what advantageth it me if the dead rise not? Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die. I Corinthians 15:32. We see a general pattern of living here. One to be contested in the next verse, by virtue of the fact that there is a resurrection. And so we do not live according to this pattern. We avoid the corruption.

(Luke 19:7) "And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be a guest with a man that is a sinner."

The publicans or tax-collectors were the most hated people among the Jews. They were usually the out-casts among the people, considered to be moral lepers, with whom respectable people would not associate. Zacchaeus "was the chief of the publicans, and he was rich." But, with all his wealth, his countrymen hated him. They would not speak to him on the street. No one would go into his house. He was looked down on and avoided if he dared go into the Temple.

But our Lord made it a practice to break through these rules. He did not bow to the traditional rules of society. He spoke to the publicans, and went into their houses, and became known as, "the friend of publicans and sinners." Any one who was a friend of publicans was consider to be as wicked as they.

But this did not keep our Lord from being "the friend of publicans and sinners." At the beginning of His ministry He spoke to the woman at the well who had 5 husbands, and finished it with pardon to a thief while He was hanging on the cross. His whole life was a "seeking and saving that which was lost."

I fail to see where the Word makes my neighbor my enemy...but rather tells me to befriend them,  witness to them, show them the love of Christ in all I say and do.
May God bless you with His Love, Peace and Truth.

Again, I think I made the distinction between friendship and evangelizing, seekers and enemies of Christ. The context you are referring to is this: these Pharisees were accusing Jesus of being evil and not the Son of God by virtue of His associations. Clearly that is not the situatiion at hand; we are talking about scripture verses and applying them to Robin's situation which is not an endeavor to discredit Jesus, but how to be friends with nonChristians. Discernment is really, really important. Because what are you going to do with those verses? Are you saying there is fellowship between light and darkness? That Christ has something to do with Belial? I believe Robin was asking how to be friends with these people because she and her husband are now Christians, and she's seeing the backlash.

Let me ask you this directly, if I may: What does this verse mean?
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4

That's in scripture, too. It cannot be ignored. We have to understand the one, how it is distinguished from the other, and apply all of it. Because being a Christian doesn't mean we're at peace with everyone in our hearts. There is a peace which we must have with all men, and this is peace refers to blamelessness. Not doing things to start trouble or sinnning against others in revenge as the world is accustomed to doing. But this does not mean we back down or seek an unholy friendship with the world. How do you feel this verse applies? It's comfortable to be liked by everyone and to like everyone. But it is not of God, who commands our utmost loyalty. Fear of man is a trap. Jesus had enemies: are we greater than our Master? If we are fighting His cause, will not His enemies be our enemies too, as revealed in all those verses?

Peace, and God's blessings to you.

[IrishAngel]

It is  important to understand what Paul is requiring of us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and that we not misapply his words in this text. Paul does not forbid Christians to associate with unbelievers; he warns the church against allowing “wolves” into the church and attempting to carry out Christ’s work with their help and cooperation.

While those with whom we choose to have the closest fellowship do have the greatest influence on our values, attitudes, and actions, yet the "bad company" Paul refers to in the following passage is in the church,  by which we cannot conclude that association with unbelievers is forbidden


(1 Corinthians 5:9-13)  I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: 10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. 11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.


You ask me what I think this verse means. (James 4:4)  I know opinions vary on what its meant by the "world",  read in context of that whole chapter, he is talking about the evil of this world, and our desires. James says that to love the world is to hate God, and clearly he is not referring to loving unbelievers or even fellowshipping with them , but the sinfull things of this world.
 
Our Lord  purposed to associate with unbelievers in order to minister to them, why would He set this example for us if it contradicts the teaching of His own Word?




May God bless you with His Love, Peace and Truth

[Whitehorse]

It is  important to understand what Paul is requiring of us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and that we not misapply his words in this text.

I'd be pleased to address any misapplication you are referring to. If you could pull out the quote you're disagreeing with, that would be helpful, and I'll gladly answer to it.

Paul does not forbid Christians to associate with unbelievers; he warns the church against allowing “wolves” into the church and attempting to carry out Christ’s work with their help and cooperation. While those with whom we choose to have the closest fellowship do have the greatest influence on our values, attitudes, and actions, yet the "bad company" Paul refers to in the following passage is in the church,  by which we cannot conclude that association with unbelievers is forbidden

Again, I think I made the distinction between friendship and evangelizing, seekers and enemies of Christ.

(1 Corinthians 5:9-13)  I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: 10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. 11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

Thank you-another important thing to watch for. This passage refers to those who call themselves believers, but are mixing in the darkness of the world.

James says that to love the world is to hate God, and clearly he is not referring to loving unbelievers or even fellowshipping with them , but the sinfull things of this world.

From II Corinthians 6-Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

So this says we are not to have fellowship with darkness. That being the case, how would we distinguish it from this, which I also put in my first post?:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28

Perhaps the answer is that the second verse still refers to these people as our enemies. And we a re still not to have fellowship with them. For the word fellow, from which we draw the word fellowship, means this, according to Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary: 1. sharer; partner. 2. comrade; associate. 3. One of a pair; a mate. 4. An equal, as in power, rank character; peer. It continues, but this gives us the basic idea. We lovingly lead them to the gospel, but we do not side with them, join with them, share our hearts with them, or do anything that would show any loyalty to them, anything that God would see as loyalty with the house of the enemy. We love them by working for their good, and setting an example of loyalty to the house of our Father. After all, that will be expected of them if they become Christians, and who wants to join a disloyal house? Failure in this area has led some to date and even marry the offspring of the enemy. And in doing so, joined the house of God to the house of satan. A serious offense.

Our Lord  purposed to associate with unbelievers in order to minister to them, why would He set this example for us if it contradicts the teaching of His own Word?

He doesn't contradict His own word. We have to make distinctions between the verses that say He is the Prince of Peace and the one that tells us He did not come to bring peace but a sword:

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Also: Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.

Are these contradictions? Of course not. The distinction between these verses is that He came to bring peace between the saints and God, but not between His house and the house of His enemy. Here is something I see frequently, and I don't know that it has happened here at all; I'm not referring to anyone here, but this is just an example: a lot of what we call evangelizing is really an attempt to get unbelievers to like us so we won't have to be persecuted. We think we're loving them into the body of believers, but in reality we are handing them a very subtle control, one they are using deliberately because they are shrewd as serpents. We have the innocent as doves part down, but we don't realize that there is a difference between loving someone, and agreeing with them. Really, we're just pandering to them so we don't get our feelings hurt. If a nonChristian does something odious to the name of God and a Christian rebukes him, do we stand with the unbeliever to show our tolerance and love, or do we grab hold of a holy jealousy for the name of our God? What are we willing to give for God? Our comfort? Our feelings? Our reputation? Do we listen to the accusations of nonChristians against God's ministers if it comes couched in a compliment for ourselves and our love and our tolerance, as right as those accusations may seem at the moment, forgetting who the author of those stories is and what he represents?

Here's an example out of true life: There was a young man in his twenties who was asked by his boss to kill his exwife. The boss told him all kinds of stories about what an abusive mother she was, the courts didn't give him custody, and he was just looking out for the wellbeing of the kids. The young man was so filled with pity for the children that he loaded his gun and broke into the woman's house. At trial later on, he testified that he could see instantly that he was in a warm, loving home, but when the woman drew near, he feared discovery and shot her. He will have to spend the rest of his life in jail, filled with remorse and regret, because he failed to see that as bad as the tales were that he had been told, as much as he thought his pity was righteous, as much as he wanted to give those little ones a future, he failed to recognize that these stories came from a man who was asking him to commit an act of murder, and who admitted that he had been denied custody of those children, by the court system. That should have told him everything he needed to know. This is an extreme example, but look where it led.

But let us not be sympathetic to satan's causes. May we never bypass the book of Ephesians to pander to those who inwardly hate God. May we never sell out on our beliefs because there's a compliment in it for us. Because we inwardly know that if we look good in front of nonChristians, there's a good chance we look bad to God. This effective tactic in silencing the saints may be the very reason our country is becoming so corrupt.

May God bless you with His Love, Peace and Truth

Thank you, and amen; I wish this for us all.

[IrishAngel]

It is  important to understand what Paul is requiring of us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and that we not misapply his words in this text.

I'd be pleased to address any misapplication you are referring to. If you could pull out the quote you're disagreeing with, that would be helpful, and I'll gladly answer to it.

If the biblical application  of "yoked" here means becoming attached to a person who does not share your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior whether attached financially (as in a business partnership) or emotionally (as a spouse),  connected to someone who cannot "pull" equally with you in life, and this instruction is by us applied to friendships, it is a misapplication.  The four questions that follow the statement in that verse, concerning such relationships, certianly make it clear that we share nothing in common with a non-believer as far as our faith goes.

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28
 Perhaps the answer is that the second verse still refers to these people as our enemies. And we a re still not to have fellowship with them

This does not refer to  "these people" or unbelievers as our enemies, it simply says to love your enemies, so you seem to be applying your own translation to this text.

we don't realize that there is a difference between loving someone, and agreeing with them

You made a key point there, which I think may as well apply to how we view unbelievers, to befriend them, fellowship with them, is not to say we are letting down our guard or laying aside our faith.  I think also there is a big difference in being persecuted or hated for the gospels sake, and persecution that comes our way because we dont know how to interact with those outside the  faith.  

 1 Corinthians 10:23-33 If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed (meaning want to ) to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake. Is Paul in this scripture  forbidding fellowship with a unbeliever, or not to seek thier company as you put it?  

Although we have different perspectives, you have made some interesting commentary, and in regards to a comment you made to Robin, about her not being arrogant, I hope I did not come across as accusing her of such, I was merely stating what I believe  in regard to our relationships with our 'neighbors' whoever that  may be.

May God bless you with His Love, Peace and Truth.

[Whitehorse]

Actually, that verse says says nothing whatsoever about marriage. It doesn't even mention it. Never uses the word spouse. It says unbeliever. It says light  and darkness. Christ  and Belial. Is a person any less dark because he is not married to you? Or less a son of Belial because he is not a business partner? It says clearly that Christ and Belial have nothing to do with each other. The overt emphasis in this verse is not on the nature of the relationship. It doesn't say a thing about it, except for yoking, which it does not specify as marriage. You would need to prove your stance on this out of scripture. But all of those questions talk about the nature of the person, not the nature of the relationship. Why would any believer want fellowship with someone who hates his/her God? And then, we have the verse about friendship with the world. This one does talk about the nature of the relationship, because it says, friendship, which it expressly forbids:


You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4

This does not refer to  "these people" or unbelievers as our enemies, it simply says to love your enemies, so you seem to be applying your own translation to this text.

Are you suggesting that fellow believers are your enemies? For it is written:

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. I John 2:9.

So anyone who hates a believer falls directly into that category of enemy, (as per the other verses already copied and pasted several times.)

You made a key point there, which I think may as well apply to how we view unbelievers, to befriend them, fellowship with them, is not to say we are letting down our guard or laying aside our faith.

This statement directly opposes this verse: For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Maybe it would help to take each of the questions in the verses above, and answer them one by one. What do they have in common?

And this one:
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James 4:4

People who are not believers are the world, as it is written:

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Surely you're not suggesting that Jesus died for sin apart from the one who commits those sins. He isn't in the business of saving sin; He saves sinners. Sinners are therefore the world, as evidenced by their behavior.

Here is the degree to which God requires our loyalty: Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

If this is true of beloved parents and children, how much moreso is this true of worldly friends? If these friends are causing us to disregard the scriptures, then we need to rethink those friendships. Again, an unbeliever can be someone you evangelize and deeply love in a godly sense. But they can never be part of your fellowship, that is, as one of your inner circle, for fellowship is with those on equal footing, as evidenced by the definition of the word "fellow." An unbeliever can never be on equal footing with the King's kids. But we can and must be kind to them, unless they are doing damage to the kingdom. Then we take the approach Jesus did with the Pharisees. The approach Stephen took. That of the prophets.

But the saints we can always befriend. encourage, refresh, offer support and learning and teaching and love.

As for those unbelievers we love in the biblical way described here:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28

We can teach them all about the Love of Christ, we can care deeply about them, and we can pray for them. But we cannot let them into our sphere of fellowship. That is clearly reserved for the saints.

Again, the statement I made about discerning between evangelism and friendship has been disregarded, as well as the difference between a seeker and a total unbeliever. These are important distinctions, and yet they haven't been addressed.

The Bible doesn't contradict itself, yet the universal tendency is to pick one angle of what the Bible says and not really notice the other. But when this happens, our thinking ceases to be truly Biblical. We can't pick and choose any more than a medical student should pick and choose which chapters of his medical textbooks he feels he needs to study.

Blessings to you.

[IrishAngel]

Actually, that verse says says nothing whatsoever about marriage. It doesn't even mention it. Never uses the word spouse

ok,  but neither can you remove the word yoked from that verse...and I will post the origional meaning for you

Verse 14:Don't ever be mismated with unbelievers under the same yoke.
 Mh\ gi/nesqe ­ Present imperative to show a permanent prohibitione  
(terozugou~ntev ­ (hapaxlegomenon) from e3tero ­ anotherzuge/w - to yoke

please note: "YOKED" does indicate a permanent relationship.

If you have never done a indepth study of Corinthians 6:14. the following commentary will  help you understand it better.

"Who are the unbelievers that Paul speaks of in verse 14? Are they the pagan worshipers of 1 Corinthians or the Judaizers of 2 Corinthians?" It would be easy to point to the pagan practices and celebrations of 1 Corinthians and say that Paul excluded putting on a yoke of fellowship with them. But that does not say enough. The syncretism in Corinth was not limited to mixing Christianity withpaganism. It included tolerance of heresy labeled by the Judaizers as super-fine Christianity. Paul in response labeled the Judaizers as unbelievers. Why? These were not erring Christians; they were confirmed in their error. They preached another gospel, and the Corinthians listened (2 Corinthians 11:4). Instead of trusting in God's forgiving grace in Christ, they preached the necessity to comply with Old Testament codewhich though given by God, would not result in gospel righteousness, but lawlessness.And so Paul compares the faith in the  gospel of Christ with the perverted consequences of the Judaizers. The only conclusion to draw was that the two could not stand side by side. No syncretism was possible. The two sides were opposites. Any attempts to reconcile would destroy faith in gospel righteousness. Hence, the Corinthians were not to worship with the Judaizers, nor were they to set the gospel up with the false teachings of the Judaizers, with the Corinthians subjectively gleaning what they considered the best from the two camps. Paul could not tolerate it and neither would the Judaizers.

In regards to the five questions Paul poses, they may be classified this way: Questions one and two deal with separation between salvation and destruction (righteousness and wickedness; light and darkness); Question three deals with the separation of Christ and Satan; Questions four and five deal with separation between the saved and the destroyed (believer and unbeliever; the temple of God and idols)

Each question points out that the gospel is incompatible with the message of the Judaizers. Can gospel righteousness be combined with lawlessness? May it never be! And lawlessness is lawlessness, whether we speakof the one extreme of license and antinomianism, or whether we speak of the verdict of "guilty" spoken over those who bask in presumed merits of work righteousness. Hence, any mingling of gospel righteousness and lawlessness would be at the expense of the gospel. Likewise, light and darkness are opposites. They have nothing in common. The application: have nothing to do with the Judaizers. Christ and Satan can reach no concord, no peace treaty. How could the Corinthian Christians find agreement with those who relied on their own merit to make them "super-apostles"? What does the believer share with an unbeliever? In the common matters of this world, there may bemuch: sports interests, business pursuits, etc. But when it comes to the gifts of the Holy Spirit, the believer and unbeliever are poles apart. For the Corinthian Christians to be yoked with the Judaizers could only result in them pulling against each other, pulling in opposite directions. Paul is not speaking of incidental contact with the Judaizers or, for that matter, other unbelievers. We live in this world and are in contact with more than believers alone. Paul is speaking of worship and religious instruction. What the Judaizers had to offer spiritually was incongruous to faith in the gospel.What agreement does God's temple have with idols? For we certainly are the temple of the living God.Since we are the temple of the living God through faith in Christ, what are the Judaizers? They are mere idols,parading around as if they were legitimate.So why would a believer seek fellowship with idols when by grace he has fellowship with God? The Corinthians had this fellowship through faith and the gospel righteousness which accompanied it. God lived with them and walked with them (a reference to Leviticus 26:11f). Though they could not see God's presence, Paul wanted the Corinthians to cherish that fellowship highly. In fact, they were to treasure that fellowship with God so highly that they would come out from theinfluence of the Judaizers and be separate. Again, Paul is not describing public shunning of unbelievers, doing business only with believers or having only Christians as friends or acquaintances. But in terms of worship andinstruction, the Corinthians could not tolerate the continued presence and influence of the Judaizers. That influence could serve as the fulcrum for exerting leverage to sway the believers away from gospel righteousnessand the fellowship that comes from being God's child through faith.

The Bible doesn't contradict itself, yet the universal tendency is to pick one angle of what the Bible says and not really notice the other. But when this happens, our thinking ceases to be truly Biblical.

I completely agree, so please explain to me how you can ignore the fact that Jesus was a friend to the unbeliever, ate with them, fellowshipped with them, went to thier weddings and thier funerals, and how Paul said if your bid to eat with a unbeliever, feel free to go, and yet you call the unbeliever our enemy, and say its unbiblical to fellowship with them?

Again, the statement I made about discerning between evangelism and friendship has been disregarded, as well as the difference between a seeker and a total unbeliever. These are important distinctions, and yet they haven't been addressed.

Who makes this distinction, you or the Word?

[Whitehorse]

I completely agree, so please explain to me how you can ignore the fact that Jesus was a friend to the unbeliever, ate with them, fellowshipped with them, went to thier weddings and thier funerals, and how Paul said if your bid to eat with a unbeliever, feel free to go, and yet you call the unbeliever our enemy, and say its unbiblical to fellowship with them?

Whitehorse: Again, the statement I made about discerning between evangelism and friendship has been disregarded, as well as the difference between a seeker and a total unbeliever. These are important distinctions, and yet they haven't been addressed.

Who makes this distinction, you or the Word?

It might not be a bad idea to take another look at my posts. What did I use? Commentaries can be helpful, if they're good ones, but the Word should be the basis. I don't how those verses can be ignored.