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BULL
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Topic: BULL (Read 101067 times)
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
Atheist!
«
Reply #45 on:
April 23, 2003, 04:57:42 PM »
A young lady came home from a date and her mother could see she had been crying. "What's wrong dear?" asked the mother.
"Oh Mom!" said the girl "My boyfriend asked me to marry him tonight!"
"What's the matter dear, don't you love him?" asked the mother.
"I do love him" said the girl... "But tonight he told me that he's an atheist! He doesn't even believe there is a hell mom!!!"
The mother just smiled and said "You marry him anyway ... between the two of us we'll show him just how wrong he is!"
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Symphony
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 3117
I'm a llama!
Re:BULL
«
Reply #46 on:
April 23, 2003, 06:35:03 PM »
Purrrrrfect, Ambassador!! hehe.
That's a good one.
Here's another:
Guy, to friend: "Wanna go bowlin' tonight?"
friend: "Nope. I gotta 'tend a lecture this evenin'."
guy: "Oh yeah? You taken' a night course?"
friend: "Naaah. I'm having dinner with my mother-in- law."
(hehe)
Logged
IrishAngel
Guest
Re:BULL
«
Reply #47 on:
April 23, 2003, 06:46:16 PM »
BULLS come home to pasture fer sure
*guffaws*
Logged
TigerLily
Gold Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 730
Laugh often,long & loud.Laugh until you feel it!
Re:BULL
«
Reply #48 on:
April 23, 2003, 06:54:07 PM »
ROFL,, hey A4C and blue these are great,, heres a couple i got in my email.. hope ya enjoy!!
. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,
"Mabel,
did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at
it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I
know
where my hearing aid is
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the
casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket.
They
hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once
again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are
again
carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door,
the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!
Logged
Remember that tho the storms of life may rage & stir things up, cause chaos and at times many hurts, etc...In the end, It can unearth the most beautiful of treasure! Keep Holding on to Jesus thru the storm & He will indeed show you the beauty of life after its all settled & peaceful, Its His Plan!
TigerLily
Gold Member
Offline
Gender:
Posts: 730
Laugh often,long & loud.Laugh until you feel it!
Re:BULL
«
Reply #49 on:
April 23, 2003, 06:57:45 PM »
The Amish Elevator
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with
amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular numbers above the walls
light up sequentially. They continued to watch until
it reached the last number and then the numbers began
to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous,
voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The
father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
quietly to his son ...
Go get your mother."
Logged
Remember that tho the storms of life may rage & stir things up, cause chaos and at times many hurts, etc...In the end, It can unearth the most beautiful of treasure! Keep Holding on to Jesus thru the storm & He will indeed show you the beauty of life after its all settled & peaceful, Its His Plan!
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
Re:BULL
«
Reply #50 on:
April 24, 2003, 02:23:28 AM »
Quote from: Symphony on April 23, 2003, 06:35:03 PM
Purrrrrfect, Ambassador!! hehe.
That's a good one.
Here's another:
Guy, to friend: "Wanna go bowlin' tonight?"
friend: "Nope. I gotta 'tend a lecture this evenin'."
guy: "Oh yeah? You taken' a night course?"
friend: "Naaah. I'm having dinner with my mother-in- law."
(hehe)
LOL Symphony Thanks Bro
«
Last Edit: April 24, 2003, 02:25:24 AM by Ambassador4Christ
»
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
Re:BULL
«
Reply #51 on:
April 24, 2003, 02:27:24 AM »
Quote from: tigerlily on April 23, 2003, 06:54:07 PM
ROFL,, hey A4C and blue these are great,, heres a couple i got in my email.. hope ya enjoy!!
. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,
"Mabel,
did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at
it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I
know
where my hearing aid is
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the
casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket.
They
hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once
again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are
again
carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door,
the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!
LOL I liked them both Sis, thanks
Logged
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
Re:BULL
«
Reply #52 on:
April 24, 2003, 02:29:42 AM »
Quote from: tigerlily on April 23, 2003, 06:57:45 PM
The Amish Elevator
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with
amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular numbers above the walls
light up sequentially. They continued to watch until
it reached the last number and then the numbers began
to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous,
voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The
father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
quietly to his son ...
Go get your mother."
LOVE IT - ROFLOL
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
A blonde calls Delta Airlines ...
«
Reply #53 on:
April 24, 2003, 01:33:15 PM »
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute... " Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
«
Last Edit: April 24, 2003, 01:34:18 PM by Ambassador4Christ
»
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
investigation of Martha Stewart
«
Reply #54 on:
April 24, 2003, 01:35:48 PM »
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues.
Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
«
Last Edit: April 24, 2003, 01:39:24 PM by Ambassador4Christ
»
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Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
"My wife got me to believe in religion."
«
Reply #55 on:
April 24, 2003, 01:38:10 PM »
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
«
Last Edit: April 24, 2003, 01:40:13 PM by Ambassador4Christ
»
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
A man is recovering from surgery...
«
Reply #56 on:
April 24, 2003, 01:41:48 PM »
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
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Symphony
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 3117
I'm a llama!
Re:BULL
«
Reply #57 on:
April 24, 2003, 06:34:57 PM »
Logged
Ambassador4Christ
Gold Member
Offline
Posts: 2873
Are You GOING TO HEAVEN?
Re:BULL
«
Reply #58 on:
April 25, 2003, 02:29:35 AM »
Quote from: Symphony on April 24, 2003, 06:34:57 PM
Irish Angel, Symphony, is the one on the left, I am the guy on the right
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Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Sammy
Jr. Member
Offline
Posts: 59
I'm a llama!
Re:BULL
«
Reply #59 on:
April 25, 2003, 10:30:12 AM »
Why God never received tenure at any university
1. He had only one Major publication
2. It was in Hebrew
3. It had no references
4. It Wasn't published in a referee journal
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then.
7. His co-operative efforts have been quite limited
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board to use human subjects
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted he deleted them from the sample
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his test
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
Top 17 childrens books not recommended by the National LIbrary Association.
Bob the Germ's Wonderous journey into and Back out of you Digestive System.
The Little Engine that became intoxicated and killed civilians
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge
Clifford the Bog Red Dog Accidently Eats His Masters and is put to Sleep
Valuable Protein and other Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose
A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides
Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
Daddy loses his job and Finds the Bottle
Babar Meets the Taxidermist and Becomes a Piano
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
David Duke's World of Imagination
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
Teddy: The Elf With the Detached Retina
The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
Things Rich Kids Have But You Never Will
Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On.
The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead.
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