BULL

[Ambassador4Christ]

A young lady came home from a date and her mother could see she had been crying. "What's wrong dear?" asked the mother.

"Oh Mom!" said the girl "My boyfriend asked me to marry him tonight!"

"What's the matter dear, don't you love him?" asked the mother.

"I do love him" said the girl... "But tonight he told me that he's an atheist! He doesn't even believe there is a hell mom!!!"

The mother just smiled and said "You marry him anyway ... between the two of us we'll show him just how wrong he is!"
 

[Symphony]

Purrrrrfect, Ambassador!!  hehe.

That's a good one.


Here's another:


Guy, to friend:  "Wanna go bowlin' tonight?"
           friend:  "Nope.  I gotta 'tend a lecture this evenin'."
             guy:   "Oh yeah?  You taken' a night course?"
           friend:   "Naaah.  I'm having dinner with my mother-in-                             law."


(hehe)

[IrishAngel]

BULLS come home to pasture fer sure  



*guffaws*

[TigerLily]

ROFL,, hey A4C and blue these are great,, heres a couple i got in my email.. hope ya enjoy!!

. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,
"Mabel,
 did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
 answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at
 it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I
know
where my hearing aid is


A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the
casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket.
 They
hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once
again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are
again
carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door,
the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!
 
 
 

[TigerLily]

The Amish Elevator

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with
amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular numbers above the walls
light up sequentially. They continued to watch until
it reached the last number and then the numbers began
to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous,
voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The
father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
quietly to his son ...
Go get your mother."

[Ambassador4Christ]

Purrrrrfect, Ambassador!!  hehe.

That's a good one.


Here's another:


Guy, to friend:  "Wanna go bowlin' tonight?"
           friend:  "Nope.  I gotta 'tend a lecture this evenin'."
             guy:   "Oh yeah?  You taken' a night course?"
           friend:   "Naaah.  I'm having dinner with my mother-in-                             law."


(hehe)

LOL Symphony Thanks Bro
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

ROFL,, hey A4C and blue these are great,, heres a couple i got in my email.. hope ya enjoy!!

. Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,
"Mabel,
 did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
 answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at
 it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I
know
where my hearing aid is


A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the
casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket.
 They
hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once
again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pallbearers are
again
carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door,
the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!
 
 
 

LOL I liked them both Sis, thanks  

[Ambassador4Christ]

The Amish Elevator

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with
amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up
to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls
opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched the small circular numbers above the walls
light up sequentially. They continued to watch until
it reached the last number and then the numbers began
to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous,
voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The
father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
quietly to his son ...
Go get your mother."

LOVE IT - ROFLOL  

[Ambassador4Christ]

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute... " Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

The investigation of Martha Stewart continues.

Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock.
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"

[Symphony]

[Ambassador4Christ]

Irish Angel, Symphony, is the one on the left, I am the guy on the right    

[Sammy]

 

Why God never received tenure at any university

1.  He had only one Major publication

2.  It was in Hebrew

3.  It had no references

4.  It Wasn't published in a referee journal

5.  Some even doubt he wrote it himself

6.  It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then.

7. His co-operative efforts have been quite limited

8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results

9.  He never applied to the Ethics Board to use human subjects

10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted he deleted them from the sample

12.  He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

13.  Some say he had his son teach the class

14.  He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his test

16.  His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.




Top 17 childrens books not recommended by the National LIbrary Association.

Bob the Germ's Wonderous journey into and Back out of you Digestive System.

The Little Engine that became intoxicated and killed civilians

Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge

Clifford the Bog Red Dog Accidently Eats His Masters and is put to Sleep

Valuable Protein and other Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose

A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides

Charles Manson Bedtime Stories

Daddy loses his job and Finds the Bottle

Babar Meets the Taxidermist and Becomes a Piano

Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear

David Duke's World of Imagination

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

Teddy: The Elf With the Detached Retina

The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy

Things Rich Kids Have But You Never Will

Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On.

The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead.