Jest for laughs

[sincereheart]

And you'd never laugh at a spelling mistake of mine, now would you?

 

So just start with one hundred times!
And no cut and paste!

[Shylynne]

Those intent on teach-them-a-lesson-by-any-means often rely on  cruel and unusual infliction of punishments, but it seldom results in a truly wise outcome. I cannot consent  to this archaic  method of teaching a lesson, rather adhere to the idea that I should  learn my lesson slowly and well enough that I understand it, so that not repeating the offence will be a naturally occuring  outcome. Writing the said offence a hundred or more times as a form  of ensuring the offender will think twice before he repeats his mistake,  may be necessary in some very difficult circumstances, (such as with the male species) but it isn't true consensus and shouldn't be accepted as standard practice, therefore I highly protesteth

[sincereheart]

No, no, no....

If you can't spell it, then writing it 100 times WILL improve that error. So it's not punitive... just helpful!  

[Faithwalk]

A state trooper sees a vehicle on the interstate doing 33 miles an hour and pulls the car to make sure everything is all right. When he approaches the driver he discovers that it is a nun.
"Excuse me, sister. But are you alright ?" He asked.
She replies, "Oh, yes officer. We're just fine. Was I doing something wrong?"
The officer says, "Well sister, you were traveling way under the speed limit and I was concerned that you might be having car trouble or something."
"But officer", the nun interrupts, "I saw a sign there about a mile back that said 33, and I know I wasn't going any faster than that."
Chuckling, the trooper says, "Sister, that was a state highway route marker, this is State Route 33, not the speed limit. The speed limit signs have a MPH at the bottom."
"Oh, now don't I feel foolish!", replied the nun turning red.
"That's ok, but please try to be more careful, I would hate to see you get hurt", finished the officer. Then as he turns to say good-bye to the nuns in the back seat, he notices for the first time that they are trembling violently and quite pale.
"Sister, what is wrong with your friends? Can I escort you to a hospital ?"
"Oh, no, they're all right. We just turned off of Route 150."

[Shylynne]

No, no, no....

If you can't spell it, then writing it 100 times WILL improve that error. So it's not punitive... just helpful!  

It WILL?

It is?

Are we still talkin to me?

k so ...how many words could a canuck chipmunk spell if a canuck chipmunk could spell words?  

[nChrist]

In Teacher's Email (My Wife's):

What are the top 10 ways you can tell that you are a teacher?

1. In public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at random children to correct their behavior.
2. You have no life between August and June.
3. You have gotten really good at the 32 Times Tables.
4. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
5. You try to order lipstick by Crayola color name.
6. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
7. It occurs to you that marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.
8. Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.
9. You can "hold it" for seven hours!
10. Mr. Rambunctious just told his mom that you are the best thing that happened to him all year.

By the way, one of her students is a canuck chipmunk. He is an honor student and won the spelling bee.  

[Shylynne]

I neer understood why I was neer named a  honor student...I was always honorable  

"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which
we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the
Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant
of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police
Farce."

 

[Shylynne]

What if you thought a thought, but the thought you thought wasn't the thought that you thought you thought?

[Shylynne]

Thanks to Roland for this one:
Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington.
Also they track her calves to their stalls.  But they
are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.

The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.
 
   

[nChrist]

What if you thought a thought, but the thought you thought wasn't the thought that you thought you thought?

Oklahoma Howdy to Shylynne,

   I had a dream last night that is troubling me. I dreamed that I was asleep, and I woke up, and I found out that I was asleep.

   I came home the other night and tried to unlock the house with my car keys. It started right up, so I drove it around the block.

[Shylynne]

Tom never talk while your still dreaming that your not still talking

IT WAS our first house, and we were avid do-it-yourselfers, full of ambitious plans.  We painted and wallpapered, rebuilt rickety steps and repeatedly mopped and patched a leaky basement.  One Sunday night we fell into bed, exhausted from a weekend of projects.  When I turned out the bedside lamp, a ghostly silver light flooded the room.  "Look," I whispered. "The moon is almost full."  "Don't worry," my husband murmured into his pillow.   "We'll empty it in the morning."

[Shylynne]

A couple are asleep in their beds late one night, when
the wife thinks she hears a noise downstairs.
She nudges her husband and whispers,
"Wake up, wake up!"
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're
eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" says the husband.

[Willowbirch]

Thanks to Roland for this one:
Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington.
Also they track her calves to their stalls.  But they
are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country.

The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.
 
   

LOL!

[Willowbirch]

What if you thought a thought, but the thought you thought wasn't the thought that you thought you thought?

I've had that happen before! Very unsettling!

[Shylynne]

LOL!  I was so hoping you wer`nt one of those normal people Willow!