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[tiger_lily33]

 thank you Bronzesnake , willow... and thanks SH for that site. (gonna check it out as soon as i get a chance..)
Bronze.. thank you for your reply.. no it wasnt easy to say what i said but sometim*es putting it into words helps a little in the healing, its like it makes it real, not something that just haunts you in the night (and or day) and yes willow,, they do know better, any one that does this sort of thing knows better.. funny, the one that is the victim knows its wrong, instantly you get the "this isnt right sickening horrifying feeling in your stomache and heart ect, no matter what the age, so if the victim gets that feeling, theres no way that the abuser doesnt somewhere within himself/herself get the "i know this aunt right " feeling..even outside of it being wrong commonsense wise..
about forgiveness, its extremely hard to forgive.. i have been working on it for years, i feel i have forgiven most of the men..theres just one that i am having a real honest to God hard time to forigive. i found out that this same one was supoose to have abused his own girls.. it was never verified.. but well if he would me at the age of 4, then i have no doubt he would them either...

I am more concerned with you at the moment. It took a lot of deep down pain for you to bring this out in the open like this. Tigerlilly, you really have to find forgiveness, complete forgiveness for this person before you can be truely healed yourself.

I will pray for your healing my dear sister. I am heartsick for you.

God bless you and give you the strength to forgive and be healed. May God shine His light of Holy Justice down into the deepest darkest hiding places where such people who would do this evil hide, and reveal their sin to the world. May God see to it that these people are brought to justice here on earth, before they meet Him, and His Holy Judgement. Amen

Thank you john... i do need prayer, i know that, you know, im nearly 33 and still have night frights, wake up screaming.. youd think id get past that but, well..i dunno..i am NOT looking for pity dont get me wrong... just statin facts..i try not to think of it as much as possible, but when i do have issues with it, i have to look at it this way.. everything happens for a reason.. right? the only good reason i can think of for this to have happened is that sometime in life i will be able to help someone else thru this.. i can honestly say when it cmoes to this topic,, that i understand what other abuse survivors are dealing with.. so i pray that thats what i cna do, help others somehow.. but i cant honestly help anyone else till i can. as you say John,, forgive this last man and forgive myself..
again.. thanks for your concern.. and help and prayers..
hugs..
Tigerlily

[Willowbirch]

thank you Bronzesnake , willow... and thanks SH for that site. (gonna check it out as soon as i get a chance..)
Bronze.. thank you for your reply.. no it wasnt easy to say what i said but sometim*es putting it into words helps a little in the healing, its like it makes it real, not something that just haunts you in the night (and or day) and yes willow,, they do know better, any one that does this sort of thing knows better.. funny, the one that is the victim knows its wrong, instantly you get the "this isnt right sickening horrifying feeling in your stomache and heart ect, no matter what the age, so if the victim gets that feeling, theres no way that the abuser doesnt somewhere within himself/herself get the "i know this aunt right " feeling..even outside of it being wrong commonsense wise..
about forgiveness, its extremely hard to forgive.. i have been working on it for years, i feel i have forgiven most of the men..theres just one that i am having a real honest to God hard time to forigive. i found out that this same one was supoose to have abused his own girls.. it was never verified.. but well if he would me at the age of 4, then i have no doubt he would them either...Thank you john... i do need prayer, i know that, you know, im nearly 33 and still have night frights, wake up screaming.. youd think id get past that but, well..i dunno..i am NOT looking for pity dont get me wrong... just statin facts..i try not to think of it as much as possible, but when i do have issues with it, i have to look at it this way.. everything happens for a reason.. right? the only good reason i can think of for this to have happened is that sometime in life i will be able to help someone else thru this.. i can honestly say when it cmoes to this topic,, that i understand what other abuse survivors are dealing with.. so i pray that thats what i cna do, help others somehow.. but i cant honestly help anyone else till i can. as you say John,, forgive this last man and forgive myself..
again.. thanks for your concern.. and help and prayers..
hugs..
Tigerlily

[Bronzesnake]

Thank you john...  i do need prayer, i know that, you know, im nearly 33 and still have night frights, wake up screaming.. youd think id get past that but, well..i dunno..i am NOT looking for pity dont get me wrong... just statin facts..i try not to think of it as much as possible, but when i do have issues with it, i have to look at it this way.. everything happens for a reason.. right? the only good reason i can think of for this to have happened is that sometime in life i will be able to help someone else thru this.. i can honestly say when it cmoes to this topic,, that i understand what other abuse survivors are dealing with.. so i pray that thats what i cna do, help others somehow.. but i cant honestly help anyone else till i can. as you say John,, forgive this last man and forgive myself..
again.. thanks for your concern.. and help and prayers..
hugs..
Tigerlily

 My sister, I will continue to pray for you, I am so sad for you.
I hear people say "everything happens for a reason" but I don't honestly believe that. It alsmost seems like we sometimes think God has allowed certain evil things happen to us for His purposes, and that is true at times, but it's never true when this kind of life destroting trama happens, especially when children are involved.

 Jesus gave one of His most intense warning to anyone who would harm children. He said it would be better for these people to have a huge stone tied around their necks and be tossed into the sae, then what He has in store for them.

 The only hope we really have to get through such tramatic times is to completely surrender to His will. Jesus will heal you my dear sister, He wants to jeal you - you are very dear and precious to Him - His heart breaks when ever one of His beloved children is hurt - Jesus tells us that in order to be healed we must forgive. That doesn't negate the evil deed, and it doesn't let the perpetrator off. What it does do, is it lifts the evil stain, the pain, the nightmares, the sleepless night, the anger, the fear, the greef and the sense of guilt and helplessness right off of you, and places it onto the cross.

The evil men and women who do such deeds will still have to come face to face with Jesus one day, and unless they have admitted their crime publically, and accepted the consequences - unless after that, they have gotten down on their knees and begged our Holy King, and saviour for forgivness, they will be judged and sent to eternal seperation from God.

 In the meantime, you will be a great comfort and councelor to others who are suffering. You will know the way to ease their pain, you will be able to lead them straight to the heart of Jesus my sister.

 Now T.L. do it right now and be rid of this darkness which has clouded the light of peace and healing from your life. Search your heart, Jesus is there. Tell Him you forgive this man, tell Him you really, really forgive this man. Jesus will take all the darkness away instantly, and you will feel renewed. You will be ready to help others my sister, and what a blessing that is going to be...Amen!

John

[Willowbirch]

Tigerlily, what has given you comfort during these years?