Sorry Jem, but you must explain these statements you made:
Tongues is not for the edification of the believer
Jude says to build ourselves up you are correct, however, we build ourselves up through study of God's Word and fellowship with His people, not by speaking in tongues.
It clearly states in the Bible that a believer who speaks in tongues, edifies himself. The Spirit of the living God wrote that, not me.
I think you are taking "the gift" tongues out of context.
Lets look at some versions of the appropriate text:
1Co 12:10 to another, the performing of miracles, to another, prophecy, to another, distinguishing between spirits, to another,
different kinds of languages, to another, interpretation of languages. (Holman)
1Co 12:10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits;
to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: (KJV)
10 To another the working of miracles, to another prophetic insight (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose); to another the ability to discern and distinguish between [the utterances of true] spirits [and false ones], to another
various kinds of [unknown] tongues, to another the ability to interpret [such] tongues. (Amp)
So you see, the "gift" of tongues, (and interpretation), for the edification of the church isthe ability to speak MULTIPLE unknown languages. Most Christians who speak in tongues, speak only one unknown language.
So lets review.
The "gift" for the born again believer is the Holy Spirit. I stated that previously.
There is a separate, unique incident for the believer to speak in tongues. In my circles they call it the baptism of the Holy Ghost. Others call it receiving the manifestaion of the Holy Spirit. Regardless of what it is called, it is something from the Holy Spirit that is available to every Christian. All it takes is faith to receive it.
Since the Bible clearly says that speaking in an unknown language DOES edify the believer, then I believe it is something that we should take advantage of. How are we to come into the fullness of God if we don't make use of all His provisions?
Let me give a personal experience to illustrate how tongues is useful in my walk with the Almighty. When I'm in church, and we are praising and worhsipping, I get to a point within my spirit that speaking praises in English just doesn't justify my love for God that wells up inside me.
So then I can speak in tongues and/or sing in tongues so my spirit can express to God what the English language just doesn't have to express what is in my spirit.
This same thing happens when I'm doing devotional prayers. Sometimes the English language just doesn't have the words I need to express to God what is in my spirit, and needs to be released.
Consider this scripture:
Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. (KJV)
Rom 8:26 In the same way the Spirit also joins to help in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings. (Holman)
26 So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. (AMP)
So then, whhen we become born again, and receive the Holy Spirit, we have the ability to speak in tongues, if we have the faith.
This personal unknown language is NOT the ministry gift for the edification of the church, but rather for the edification of the believer.
It is a manifestaion of the indwelling Spirit in the believer, and edifies the believer.
Oh, one thing I want to add, and it alludes to something you wrote which is quite valid. The ability of tongues for the believer MUST BE DONE IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!
This scripture makes that quite clear:
1Co 13:1 If I speak the languages of men and of angels, but do not have love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (Holman)
1Co 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (KJV)
1 IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (AMP)
Any and all Christians who speak in tongues should read that section in 1 Corinthians, chapters 12-14, several times so they can understand how tongues should be used within their personal sphere. The Corinthians, who ALL spoke in tongues, had a problem with abuse of tongues. The Holy Spirit, through the Apostle Paul, set things straight for them, and also for us.
Anyways, peace my brother. I love you, and wish nothing but God's glorious best for you. But I recommend not saying tongues is gone and done away with.
Num 6:24 The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
Num 6:25 The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
Num 6:26 The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.