Discipline Exhaustion

[mija]

Howdy from Texas!!!  I guess I don't know where else to turn.  I need some good ole' Christian parenting advice.  I am a mom of two beautiful girls (ages 3, 5).  My dilema is that they wear me out emotionally by the end of the day.  Let's face it, they aren't real good about minding.  I normally end up yelling at them to get them to do anything.  Why is that?!?!  Also, by the end of the day, I am so frustrated and angry with them that it is even difficult for me to lovingly put them to bed.  Any advice would be very much appreciated.  God Bless!!

[Psalm 119]

Dear mija,

It sounds like your two little ones are running the show.

We have an extended family situation that sounds similar to yours, and I must say that it gets worse with every passing year. But your children are still small and there is hope.

You need Jesus to help you, and His word to guide you. The book of Proverbs is an excellent book for child training.

Seek the Lord, and don't hesitate to use corporal punishment ( a good ole fashioned spanking ). If there is alot of confusion in your home, try to minimize it. A quiet peaceful home, with less chaos, will produce more peaceful children. Keeping the children busy will help reduce turmoil .

As Barney Fiffe use to say,"Nip it in the Bud".

Psalm 119

[mija]

 
Thanks for the advice.  There are days when I feel like all I do is yell and spank...yell and spank.  I don't want the kids to remember their mother as a person who does nothing but yell and spank.  My mom was just that.  Why is it that when I pray for patience and peace, Satan seems to control the day?!?!  Just pray for me.  Thanks!!

[Psalm 119]

mija,

I just wanted to let you know that the spankings will eventually pay off. Consistency is the key. As far as the yelling? well.......that usually doesn't accomplish much.

By the way, where is Dad in the picture? Is he doing his job?

I will pray.

Psalms 119

[sincereheart]

Hi mija,
Boy, you sure do have your hands full! Two girls that are 3 and 5 are guaranteed to drain you mentally!   My suggestion for you would be to surprise your two girls when they're getting on your last nerve and just say, "Ok, we're going outside -- NOW!" and then go out and run and play and laugh with them! Tensions will ease and you may find that their behavior isn't 'bad', just that you're getting a double-dose with two of them!

Sometimes, we as parents, let the stress of clutter (or whatever) get to us and we expect the little ones to be as bothered by it as we are. They aren't and shouldn't be! Yes, they should learn to pick up and mind, etc. But maybe, just maybe, they're just being exuberant, lively, young kids!   Too many parents want their kids to be miniature adults! And getting them to help can be a lot of fun if you make it a game! They can help fold towels, put clothes away, etc. Ok, so they won't do it perfectly -- but they'll be thrilled to know that they 'helped'....

Though I'm not a big fan of McDonald's, most do have an outside playground where mom's can sit and watch the little ones run and burn off all that excess energy! Just three drinks can be a cheap outing.

IMHO, it doesn't sound like they're in control. It just sounds to me like you're the mother of two young girls! That would wear anyone out!

God bless!

[teachme_Lord]

I am in total agreement with sincereheart. And I'm Grandma to seven beautiful young people who sometimes get on their parents nerves.

God bless.

teachme

~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~*~†~

"Children are tender vines. Handle gently."

Linda Elliott

[musicllover]

Hi,
     Wonderful advise. I wanted to say I've been there and done that, my 2 oldest were 17 months apart,  last 2 were 20 months apart and I still had one inbetween.
       Like you I felt more like a ref at the end of the day, and a complete nag, I see now some of what i did wrong. These aren't gurantee's but suggests of someone who's been there.
    My biggest problem was the yelling, frustrated because I demanded my kids to do what they were told when they were told. Not a bad idea,,,,but, I'm was expecting 2 little kids to do what they were told when they didn't really know what I was telling them. SHOW them first, teach them what you mean when you say pick up your toys, like help momma real quick pick up these toys, and put them in the toy box. Don't demand perfection. And make sure they do help you, make a game out of it, big deal when they help.   When the squabbles happen and they will, you telling them to stop right now, give the correcting in a calm voice no yelling, they are waiting until the yelling starts then they know Mom means business but at that point everyone is out of control. Like you I trained my kids to wait till I yelled before they really started to listne, and then it was beyond control most of the time, hurt feelings, things said or done that can't be repaired. My advice is constistancy, no yelling, tell them to stop or you'll set them in time out, if they don't DO IT. a minute per age.
If you disipline with spanking then do it, you don't have to beat a kid, a swat on the tush and being constistant with that will begin to set up the house rules. Keep the house rules age appropriate, and again be constistant. Also something that really helps I found this out as my kids kept coming, routine, bed time, lunch, naps, pick up time, works best when kids know what to expect and how to do. IT'll take a while for your children to see the changes, but you have to begin sooner not later. Biggest deal about raiseing kids for me is the constistancy and making myself discplined before I discplined the kids.
     My prays are with you.

[mija]

Hi Everyone!  Thank you so very much for the advice.  I really think that the "surprise" idea will work wonders.  We live out in the middle of nowhere on a farm, so the great outdoors is a great place to let off some steam.  My husband pretty much leaves the teaching and disciplining to me.  He will step in if it is a situation that I can't handle.  I love him with all of my heart...sometimes me "handling" the children is fine, other times it is exhausting.  I will definately pray for God's guidance in me being more consistant.  That is something that I am definately not in any aspect of my life.  Again, thank ya'll so very much.  God Bless!!

[Durango]

Ah, yes, the surprise tactic, I’ve seen the approach work on numerous occasions while raising 3 sons.  Our two youngest sons were born 16 months apart.  My favorite incident of the “surprise tactic” occurred one night after dinner when our youngest son, Bamm-Bamm refused to get in the shower after being told to numerous times.  Finally, I told him that he had exactly five minutes to get into the shower or else I would get him in the shower.  Well, the five minutes past and Bamm-Bamm still hadn’t gotten into the shower.  Keeping my word, I picked him up, carried him into the bathroom, and put him into the shower with his clothes still on!  It shocked the living daylights out of him, he thought I had lost my mind for a minute or two, but we never had a problem getting him into the shower after that . . .

 In fact, now that he’s a teenager, we can’t get him OUT of the shower!
I guess it just goes to show, be careful what you pray for because you might just get exactly what you pray for!

Just a thought!

Durango

[naomiball]

Hi Mija,
Going outside is a good idea. Play hard and laugh a lot. Take time in the moring and in the afternoon. Wear them out! My Dad used to take us on hikes when we got fussy. We would come home exhousted and quiet!

I find that when I take time to paly with my son, even if it is for a short time he is less fussy.

Did you see 'Leagally Blonde'? Like she said exercise makes you happy!

Also tell the girls that you need a time out, then do something for just you! drink tea, or read the Bible and pray.

Hope this helps,

Naomi
http://flowerpower.younglivingworld.com

[moira3]

This won't solve all of your problems, but my friend has a great idea for getting her 4 year old to clean her room. She goes into the bedroom with her and says, "Pick up just the crayons." "Now pick up just the shoes." ETC..., You may have more fun this way than having to nag your children. Just my bit of advice:) moira3

[mija]

Thanks for the advice.  Things are getting a little bit better.  Just praying A LOT!!!!  Thanks, again!

Jamie