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| | |-+  Pointers on having "The Talk" with my son
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Author Topic: Pointers on having "The Talk" with my son  (Read 1721 times)
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« on: February 03, 2005, 10:45:59 AM »

My son is about at the age where it is time to have "The talk" with him.  About the birds and the bees.  For those of you have aready gone thru this, do you have any tips or sugestions of what to say or not to say to make it smoother?

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« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2005, 02:10:44 AM »

I don't have kids of my own yet (lord willing) someday I hope to have a quiver full. I have been a "Big brother" though (Big brothers of america) kinda like a mentoring program for boys with out dads.. and was asked to give the speach to my "little" He was about 11 years old at the time, and I know this wasn't his first experence.. I think his mom drew concern from over hearing a phone conversation he was having with one of his friends.. and tried to talk with him and it turned out to be a disaster so she asked me... and well it took acouple of weeks of planning. I found out what he was interested in that could be used as an Ice breaker.. his point of interest lay in Anime (Japaneese animation) Started with poke mon then yugi-o then it went into several other types... I'm not completely familiar with all the various shows, but I do know that the "Evil one" uses this innocent intrest in this unique format to introduce mild pornorghaphic Ideas, and intrest. So we started a everyday conversation about his weekly shows and then moved to a couple what do you think questions about a couple of shows in his viewing routine (I sat down and watched them and took notes) most of them on cable have strong sexual unspoken tension.. or what the child may be able to Identify as a crush or a strong attraction with caracters not much older than themselves. I think this is the appeal.. to be able to explore these new emotions and feelings without shame or embarssment... So long story short (Too late right) This is an excellent oppertunity to take back our kids from unrestrained "Explortation"...So...

1) find common ground and do some homework cause they can easily tell when your making some half hearted attempt to connect.
2)Try to stay in control don't be nervous of fearful it inspires, even more uneasyness and embarassment for the child.
3) Not only tell them about the act the god has ordaind between a man and his wife but maybe even start with fanatsy and the things that his friends maybe engauged in.. because it is far more likly that he will have to fight those battles long before engauging into any relationships.
4) once he's this far in your conversation make sure you address the things the world will be telling him and the differences between God's will and Our will Condoms safe sex/ abstanance and long suffering Grin
5)this was the hardest for me but make sure that he know that it's normal to "engauge himself" as he gets older "if he hasn't already" from mt own personal experences I was contplating suicide or cutting off "my hand" and casting it into the fire for it's better to go thru life mamed that it is to lose one's soul.... from the time I was 10 or 11 because a well meaning teacher caught me in the boys bathroom at a "christian school" and that's what he told me... I was an adult  before it was ever discussed seriously again, and I found out that I wasn't the only one that has ever done such a thing.. can you even continplate carring around the magnintude of guilt that was my burden for nearly 10 years?? for what? Even when I was able to show super human self control I would have a speical dream and would be guilt all over again... It was a devestating cycle that thru no fault of my own I couldn't control... make sure you son know what's ahead of him.

No pressure lol, just Pray for strenth and do your homework and know what your going to say. you will do fine! It's not as bad as you think it is..

I'll be praying for you both
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