A Little Humor for Holiday Stress Relief

[LennyToo]

 hope you all get a good laugh out of this shared event in my life. I'd like to blame this on menopause, but I blame everything on that, so let's just say I lost it....you'll see what I mean.
This afternoon I had to make an unplanned trip into town (about 12 miles away) to go get my grandaughter's bag, as her Mom forgot to leave it when she did the kid (very early morning) and the child had no panties and no shoes!!!! Ever the resourceful Nana, I cut an old velour balnket  into large squares, layered them on the child's feet, tied them at the ankles, and consoled her protests by telling her she was going to be an eskimo baby for the day. Maybe this started the chain of forgetfulness for the day? We went into town, got the bag, and her Mom decided to go to lunch with us. I had to go to the bank, forgetting it is Friday, and that my bank is owned by the workers of a major car manufacturer, whose employees all got paid today....the lines were LONG!!! As we're waiting our turn, I double over in pain with stomach cramps. I almost dropped the grandbaby (weighs 40 pounds). Grabbing hold of the velvet ropes....offered to comfort...so I started to pray!!! Oh please, Lord make this stop and hurry these lines. Waves of pain about floored me. Made it out of the bank, load the baby into the van as my cell starts to ring...the Momma, "where are you"....duh, she saw me go into the bank as she turned to go to BK!!!! I shoot across the street, slide into BK, and the pain is unbearable. Get the food, sit down, and say I think I'm getting the flu. Oh Lord, I've gotta go to the bathroom....see if I can get some relief.
Now here's the good part....As I sat on the borrowed throne, a monsoon occured!!! Sparing you the grossness....but I must have let go 5 pounds.
It is at this point that I remember that I had taken a double dose of a gentle, ladies laxative at 5"00 am !!!!
Now, tell me, how in the world do you forget taking a major dose of laxatives?
Could it be menopause? The screaming little angel who spends her days here? The 14 year old whose home as he schools here??
Someone please get my Red Hat and purple coat, I think I need to go bye-bye for awhile!!!

[Shylynne]

ROFL!   How in the world do you forget...I`d like an answer to that as well!  A  sporadic memory seems to be the not so endearing right of passage to middle age and beyond

[Shylynne]

When I arrived for my daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.

"For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk."

"I don't understand," I replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?"

The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, Mrs. Hallinan, our appointment was tomorrow."