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| | |-+  How To Maintain Insanity
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Author Topic: How To Maintain Insanity  (Read 4782 times)
nChrist
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« on: October 02, 2004, 03:05:53 PM »

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

You will laugh or be arrested by the comedy police!

1.  At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2.  Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3.  Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4.  Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5.  Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6.  Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".

7.  Don't use any punctuation.

8.  As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9.  Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go".

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

15. When the money comes out the ATM scream, "I Won!, I Won!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

17. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Finally, I have a funny joke. Send a thank you card to my wife's teacher friends.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2004, 03:09:54 PM by blackeyedpeas » Logged

2nd Timothy
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« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2004, 09:00:20 PM »

Quote
15. When the money comes out the ATM scream, "I Won!, I Won!"

I've actually done this one....I just got some strange looks though....lol   Cool
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Tim

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« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2004, 09:01:36 PM »

HE HE   Grin
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Reba
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« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2004, 09:03:22 PM »

7.  Don't use any punctuation.




Sheesh  Bepster you picking on me
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Symphony
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« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2004, 10:22:20 PM »


'some good ones, bep.  Wink


Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.


I wish I could remember all these at the appropriate time.  Tongue

You should get "Groundhog Day" sometime, bep, with Bill Murray.  He's tearing up town and when a dozen police cars finally catch up to him, after several crashes, he orders a cheeseburger and fries.   Grin

And then the guy sitting next to him in the car pipes up, "Is it too early for flapjacks?"


    Smiley
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Shammu
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« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2004, 11:20:57 PM »

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12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Number 12 I have done, I almost got tossed out of the room.
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nChrist
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« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2004, 02:10:54 AM »

I was just thinking about the fake running radar - #1. My department had many old police cars that would barely run. True Story:  We dressed up a dummy as a police officer, parked the car in a high accident location, and made an old and broken radar visible. IT WORKED!!!!   Grin
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« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2004, 11:17:48 AM »

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12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Number 12 I have done, I almost got tossed out of the room.

 Grin



Hmm, that's good, bep.  That's what you call getting maximum benefit from old items.  I like that.

    Smiley
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« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2004, 08:26:18 AM »

hang `round me for a spell if you start to seriously annoy yourself!  Tongue
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« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2004, 10:13:44 AM »

"TWO"Thumbs UP Brother, I enjoyed them all.



17. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Grin






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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
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http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

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nChrist
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« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2004, 06:12:56 PM »

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Symphony Said:

You should get "Groundhog Day" sometime, bep, with Bill Murray.  He's tearing up town and when a dozen police cars finally catch up to him, after several crashes, he orders a cheeseburger and fries.  

And then the guy sitting next to him in the car pipes up, "Is it too early for flapjacks?"

Symphony,

If that's one of the really old ones, I think that I've seen it. Two Words: Total Insanity.   Grin

However, my favorites are still the 3 Stooges and Laurel and Hardy. You know - HIGH INTELLECTUAL CONTENT!   Grin  A close second is the Marx Brothers.

Nothing beats the highly prim and proper ladies and gentlemen getting a pie in the face.   Grin
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« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2004, 02:31:30 AM »

Quote
Symphony Said:

You should get "Groundhog Day" sometime, bep, with Bill Murray.  He's tearing up town and when a dozen police cars finally catch up to him, after several crashes, he orders a cheeseburger and fries.  

And then the guy sitting next to him in the car pipes up, "Is it too early for flapjacks?"

Symphony,

If that's one of the really old ones, I think that I've seen it. Two Words: Total Insanity.   Grin

However, my favorites are still the 3 Stooges and Laurel and Hardy. You know - HIGH INTELLECTUAL CONTENT!   Grin  A close second is the Marx Brothers.

Nothing beats the highly prim and proper ladies and gentlemen getting a pie in the face.   Grin
Or a snowball..........
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nChrist
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« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2004, 11:10:44 AM »

DreamWeaver,

Brother, it's nice to have you back. WE MISSED YOU!!!

In celebration, I just threw a coconut pie in my face.   Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
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« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2004, 01:40:04 AM »

DreamWeaver,

Brother, it's nice to have you back. WE MISSED YOU!!!

In celebration, I just threw a coconut pie in my face.   Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
I missed being here brother.
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« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2004, 05:14:30 AM »

DreamWeaver,

Brother, it's nice to have you back. WE MISSED YOU!!!

In celebration, I just threw a coconut pie in my face.   Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
I missed being here brother.


He is gone again


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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

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