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Author Topic: post your joke here ;)  (Read 2291 times)
mal_bates
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« on: June 30, 2004, 12:30:25 PM »

post your joke here Wink

here are few flash movies for good mood

http://relax.keyglobe.com
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NateyCakes
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« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2004, 04:11:53 PM »

My joke days are over when I botched the one about
Why did the man tip toe to the bathroom?
The answer is of course, He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Instead, in front of a whole bunch of kids trying to look cool, I blurt why did the man wake up the sleeping pills? Because he didn't want to tip toe. Needless to say, they never praised me as a funny person...lol......

Ok, I do have a couple that were given to me the other day. I thought they were cute. (Hopefully I'll tell it right)

A little boy opened the old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"


A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

 
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~*Rejoice for the Lord is GOOD!!*~
sincereheart
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« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2004, 08:11:35 AM »

My joke days are over when I botched the one about
Why did the man tip toe to the bathroom?
The answer is of course, He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Instead, in front of a whole bunch of kids trying to look cool, I blurt why did the man wake up the sleeping pills? Because he didn't want to tip toe. Needless to say, they never praised me as a funny person...lol......

Ok, I do have a couple that were given to me the other day. I thought they were cute. (Hopefully I'll tell it right)

A little boy opened the old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"


A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

 


LOL! Those are cute! Cheesy
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Yoyostick
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« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2004, 02:30:56 PM »

Since this is in the animals thread, I'll post a joke about animals. It's one of my favorites anyway.

A cowboy was going to buy a horse. He found an old preacher who was selling one. After buying the horse from the preacher, he got on it and was about to ride away when the preacher called him. "I forgot to tell you," he said. "That horse is very religious. He'll only move if you say Hallelujah, and he'll only stop if you say Amen." The cowboy thought that sounded pretty easy, so he yelled "Hallelujah!" and galloped off.

After riding for awhile, he suddenly realized that he was headed straight towards the edge of a cliff. Frantically he yelled "Whoa!" to the horse, but it wouldn't stop. He kept yelling but the horse just wouldn't stop. Finally, he closed his eyes and prayed out loud "Jesus, please save all my sins and send me to heaven when I die. Amen" As soon as he said "Amen", the horse skidded to a stop. The cowboy was so happy that with a shout of joy he yelled "HALLELUJAH!"  Cool Tongue
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"For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting LIFE." -John 3:16
Willowbirch
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« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2004, 09:10:13 PM »

Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar, ordered some beer, and sat down. While they were drinking a guy came in and told them that Silver was dying of heat. So Lone Ranger sent Tonto out to run in circles around to horse to make a breeze. Tonto goes out, and Lone Ranger sits back down with his beer. After a while the bartender comes up.
"Hey, mister," he says. "You left your injun running..."
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"Man dreams and desires; God broods, and wills, and quickens."
CleansedSpirit
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« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2004, 09:33:28 PM »

A man goes to his Docter, and says sadly, "You know, I think my wife is going deaf! I try and tell her things, and she doesn't even respond."
"Well," Said the Dr., "Stand 5 feet away from her tonight, and ask her what's for supper. If she doesn't respond, stand 3 feet away and ask. If she still doesn't respond, stand right behind her and ask."

So the man went home and later that night, he stood 5 feet away from her as she stood at the counter chopping some vegetables, and said, "Honey, what's for supper?" After waiting a moment without any response, he stands 3 feet away, and says, "Honey, what's for supper?" Nothing happens, and so he sighs and gets right behind her.
"Honey, what's for supper?" He asked.
His wife turned around, and said, "For the last time, I said CHICKEN!"
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Psalm 51:1 "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions."



Wot,Wot, it's me, Hon Rosie, with a differant name.
Yoyostick
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« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2004, 02:59:59 PM »

Did you ever hear about the skeleton who went into a restaurant and ordered a coke and a mop?  Grin Cool
-
Two guys walked into a building . . . you'd think one of them would've seen it.  Tongue Cool
-
"Waiter! Do you serve crabs?"
"It doesn't matter to us what you're temper is like."  Grin
-
What's a cow without its front legs? . . . lean beef.  Cool
-
And finally, have you ever told somebody a joke and had them laugh three times? They laugh when you tell it, then laugh when you explain it, and then they laugh when they finally get it.  Grin Tongue
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Jesus is Life!
"For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting LIFE." -John 3:16
conure_carol_parrot_cafe
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Hey hey!


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« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2004, 07:17:28 AM »

(I have one about a preacher :-D)

A kid, after a very long and tiring sermon, goes up to a preacher and hands him a dollar. The preacher looks at the dollar, confused. "What's this for?" he asks.

The kid shrugs and points to his dad.

"My dad said that you were one of the poorest preachers he's ever heard."


(OUCH! LOL!)

(Okay.. here's another.)

Q:Why didn't Cain please God?

A:Because he just wasn't Able.


Heehee... Gotta love Beliefnet's Joke of the day!
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Cats aren't clean. They're just covered in CAT SPIT!
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Beware of Dog> Forget the dog.. BEWARE OF CAT! Now wait. Scrap that. The Budgies are killers, too.
Yoyostick
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« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2004, 04:30:58 PM »

He he he.  Smiley The first one is very funny. The second one is a little too corny. Tongue

BTW, nice signature. KILLER BUDGIES!  Grin
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Jesus is Life!
"For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting LIFE." -John 3:16
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