NEWS FLASH!

[Warrior For Christ]

News from the year 2029

 

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

 

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

 

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

 

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

 

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

 

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East.

(Formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon)

 

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

 

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

 

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

 

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

 

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

 

85 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

 

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb.

 

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

 

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

 

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

 

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

 

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

 

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

 

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

 

Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.

[Tibby]

That was great. Also for the last one, I wish it would happen sooner, and to more states.

[sincereheart]

News from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
 
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
 
Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East.
(Formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon)

 Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
 
France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

85 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry!  

[Symphony]

Someone posted these earlier, but they're a s funny as ever.

Thank you, Warrior.  Very funny!!

   

[Shylynne]

 Canada has mobilized it's elite Special Forces Ground Units, 100,000 of these elite fighters specializing in subterranean warfare, to send to Afghanistan.

 

[Willowbirch]

[Shylynne]

[JudgeNot]

Canadian Air Force.
 

[Tibby]

The WHOLE Canadian Air force. Actually, it is even less then that. The guy is the Air Force, the plane and the handgun are both on lone from the US.

[Shylynne]

LOL!  thats cause sometimes our fleet of one dozen canoes just arn`t suitable for the job  

[JudgeNot]

Canoes??  Come on - I give Canada more credit than that.  The navy is pictured below...  

[Shylynne]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!   no kidding eh!

[Shylynne]

I Am With You Always

http://www.faithflashes.com/withyou.html  

1Ti 6:12  Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.