What is "Gossip"?

[sincereheart]

A Bishop was having trouble getting his three ministers to get along.

So he asked them to start meeting together weekly, to get to know each other better.

After several months of visiting and getting to know each other, finallyh one day the first minister spoke up:

"I've gotta level with you guys.  I have a drinking problem.  It's costing me more and more money, and I can't wait to get home to have a drink.

The other two nodded in silent sympathy.

Then the second one spoke up:

"Wow.  I've got a real problem too.  I can't seem to keep my hands out of the money box.  I gamble frequently, and I'm spending any collections as fast as they come in!!"

The other two nodded silently.

Finally, the third one said,

"I'm a habitual gossip, and I can't wait to get to the nearest telephone."
 

       

     

[sincereheart]

Gossip
Most "discernment ministry" websites and message boards are little more than glorified gossip columns. Just as you might open a newspaper or check an entertainment web page to read all the latest gossip about various famous celebrities - most of which is either totally untrue, grossly distorted, or none of anyone else's business anyway - so people check the discernment ministries to keep up-to-date with the latest scandals and controversies. Just check out their message boards, for example. They are filled with people eager to "dish the dirt" on the latest false teacher or questionable ministry, feeding their own self-righteousness by their condemnation of others. And, of course, everyone else is always quick to jump on the bandwagon, searching high and low for more information that they can use to make themselves appear "discerning."

1 Timothy 6:4 ... he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions ...

Naturally, most discernment ministries claim to be providing valuable research and facts to "expose" false teachers and "cults." Yet they keep "researching" the same things over and over again, rehashing the same information, constantly trying to convince people that they're doing something worthwhile. However, as soon as they are challenged on anything themselves, all their supposed "research" evaporates and they are revealed as simple gossip-mongers. They slander and accuse as they see fit, with no regard for truth or Scripture. They suddenly stop openly "exposing" their victims and retreat into the darkness where they can operate without fear of being exposed themselves. Far from being Biblical "watchmen," they are in fact the paparazzi of Christianity.

Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

And, just as with the tabloids, magazines and gossip columns of the world, there are no shortage of people eager to consume the "choice morsels" that they produce. For gossip and slander have become so commonplace in churches today that people no longer even consider it a problem, let alone a sin. Most Christians react with shock if you dare to confront them for slandering, for example, because they consider such things part of normal conversation. Hence, it is rare to find anyone who actually allows the Holy Spirit to convict them and bring them to repentance.

Are you addicted to the religious gossip of discernment ministries? Do you have an "unhealthy interest in controversies?" Are you one of those who are guilty of spreading slander and gossip? Does your everyday speech reflect the holiness required by Jesus?

http://www.moriel.info/gossip.html

[sincereheart]

Beware The Mule!

By Lane Palmer
Director of Equipping
Have you ever noticed that many Christians have lost their ‘horse sense’?

Dare 2 Share - I’ve read that when a group of thoroughbred horses face attack from an outside enemy, they get together in a circle facing each other- then they kick out at the attackers using their hind legs.
Donkeys, on the other hand, do just the opposite. They circle up, facing the enemy, and use their hind legs to kick each other!

Good move guys…nothing scares an enemy away faster than when you start beating each other up.

Perhaps that’s why the popular television show highlighting people with the IQ of dryer lint is named after donkeys.

Have you ever noticed that many Christians have lost their ‘horse sense’? We are always under attack from Satan and his demons, so naturally we should be circling up and kicking the enemy behind us. But this is not what I have seen. More often than not, believers turn into burros and start kicking each other around, even though they are facing attack.

The ‘kicks’ come in many forms- and they are all as helpful to the devil as his own attacks. For example, some burro believers use legalism as a favorite kicking tool. They think that they are God’s gift to the church or youth groups, so they self-righteously apply their idea of the Christian life to everyone else around them. They love to smack struggling believers with a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and make them think that they are saved by grace and kept by works.

I’ve seen other delivered donkeys who strike with the hoof of gossip. They love to hear the latest tidbits of information about others in the group- especially if it’s negative. Then they smugly pass along the tittle-tattle by way of a ‘prayer request’ because they are ‘concerned’. Sounds like a lot of hee-haw to me.

Ever been kicked by cliques? Try to work your way into the well established group of folks who play favorites with each other. As long as they are happy, they are oblivious to the needs and concerns of others. Sometimes I think Jesus Himself would have a hard time fitting into some of the mule-like ministries I’ve observed over the years.

I’ve been kicked by bitterness before…it does not feel good. It was that person’s responsibility to make things right and restore the unity between us, but instead this individual chose to turn around and whoop me upside the head.

Mules are very stubborn. It is extremely difficult to get them to change their ways. I think God knew this, which is why He gave a certain command:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

In other words- get along little donkey! Turn your life around and stop kicking your own brothers and sisters! It breaks the heart of God to see us change from beautiful believers to malicious mules. It also brings Satan great happiness when he perceives us applying the donkey defense technique…it makes his job of destroying believers *oh* so much easier- especially when it is an inside job.

My guess is that you have been on the giving and receiving end of kicks in the end…now it is time to change. It is your job to leave the pack and get back in the race with the thoroughbred horses. I think you will find that the Christian life works much better when you are working together…in fact, you may discover that it is quite a kick!

Questions:

1) Is your church/youth group more like a group of horses or donkeys?

2) Why do we give in to Satan and kick our brothers and sisters around?

3) What is one thing you need to change as a result of reading this devotion?

Into Thy Word © 2004

[sincereheart]

Hey did you hear...?
Gossip the easiest way to destroy a friendship, divide the Christian Community and give a flag of victory to the evil one.

Scott C. Kalas


A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip breaks up close friends. Proverbs 16:28 NIV

The Message
            A recent friend of mine told me how they were struggling with the gossip among their circle of friends. They were hesitant to share struggles and or other topics of discussion fearing how it may come back to hurt them. It has gotten to a point where they are thinking of attending service at another time or another church all together. They just wants to avoid the potential consequences of gossip, admitting gossip is one of the toughest sins they need to overcome.

            I’ve personally seen some great friendships end or be greatly weaken because of this horrendous sin. We all are guilty to one extent or the other. It is so easy to fall into.  For many they’ll fall victim to it with out even knowing it. Most times when this happens it has already achieved the evil ones purpose. That purpose is to cause dissension amongst brothers and sisters in Christ.

A person may approach a friend with whom they trust and speak to them in confidence on a matter that is very sensitive to them. They have been struggling to share the subject in fear others may hear and cast judgment on them. The friend may share it with someone who does not directly know the person, thinking it to be okay since it won’t get back to the person. Whether the person who confided knows the trust has broker does not matter. The friend has broken the trust! Would you want that trust you have given to someone else broken?

How often have you sat amongst a group of friends, in your home, a friend’s home, at work or any social gathering, even at church when the topic turns to a discussion on a particular person who is not present? Perhaps there are some peculiarities about this person that make it easy to voice a negative tone on this person. However you don’t speak a word not wanting to be a part of gossip. So you just sit back quietly listening. Proverb’s 17:4 speaks of how you as the listener is just as wicked as those speaking. Just because you are not speaking a word of gossip it does not free you from the sin of gossip.

If you are a victim of gossip don’t repay an evil act with an evil act of your own. Know that it is God who will seek revenge. In Romans 12:19 the Lord says, “It is mine to avenge.”  Instead pray for healing for the hurt caused you and pray for the person who did you wrong. If  the person approaches you asking for forgiveness grant it to them. You may need to ask God for strength depending upon the severity of the falsehood. If the person does not act for forgiveness and stands by there actions go to a brother or sister and as a group pray for guidance. You as brothers and sisters who are spiritual should make an effort to restore the fallen brother or sister. You may have to approach the elders of your church if the person refuses to acknowledge their sin and continues to spread the gossip to others.

We as Christians must remember that are actions are remembered more then the  words of our faith in Jesus Christ. We are going to be scrutinized and judged by secular friends, co-workers and family members in a harsher manner being professed Christians. If there is one thing a critical non-believer likes to see is non-Christian behavior from a Christian. The evil one delights in it. It shows the non-believer that Christians are only hypocrites nothing more. The sin of gossip is one of the easiest sins to fall victim to.

As I think about my friend dealing with gossip by going to another service or church. They are falling victim to this sin just as the evil one wants them to. He knows there gossip exist in all churches and human nature of all those who attend. It will only be a short amount of time before this person falls to the gripping claws of gossip again.

How can we avoid falling victim to the demon named “gossip”? I can’t say it can be avoided 100% because we are only human. However, we should make a conscious effort to look for its presence and step away from it when it appears.  If you know you are one who can easily be grasped in to this demon’s wishes include a request in your daily prayer to have God prompt and warn you when you are thinking of the words and to stop you before they are said. If you are unsure if you are a gossiper ask God to give you discernment when a conversations you are in turns to gossip. Ask him for the words to excuse yourself and if among Christians tell them why you wish to be excused and suggest they stop and discern their words. Remember to remove the log from your eye though before you cast judgment. Don’t speak words of gossip and when someone replies cast-unjustified accusations upon him or her.

What the Bible Says[1]
·        Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness. - Exodus 23:1

·        Do not go about spreading slander about your people – Leviticus 19:16

·        On the testimony of two or three witnesses a man shall be put to death, but no one shall be put to death on the testimony of only one witness – Deuteronomy 17:6

·        Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit. Psalms 5:9

·        Everyone lies to their neighbor, their flattering lips speak with deception

·        Lord who dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He who walks is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and who has no slander on his tongue who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman. Psalms 15:1-3

·        He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and whoever spreads slander is a fool. Proverbs 10:18

·        A gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy man holds his tongue. Proverbs 11:13

·        When we put bits into the mouth of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Like wise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and it is itself set on fire by hell. James 3:3-6

·        Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9

 I recommend getting a good Bible commentary for further study on the above scripture. A personal recommendation is Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Commentary published by Thomas Nelson Publishers

 The Next Steps in growth

If you have gossiped about someone confess it to God, ask for His forgiveness and ask God how you may correct the wrong you have done. It may be that you have to approach the person you gossiped about. Before doing so talk with a close Christian friend some you have a great trust and who is safe and they won’t further the issue by gossiping themselves.

             After praying and talking to a friend and it is decided to confess your sin to the person or persons you gossiped about go to them and explain what you did. Tell them you regret your actions and will take actions to correct it. This may be going to those you gossiped to and telling them of your wrong. This should be the decision of the person who was gossiped about. Regardless you must take ownership of your actions. Do not attempt to blame it on others. When Christians fall but acknowledge their sin, it removes the flag of victory from the Satan. Further more it shows the non-believer as Christians we do sin but we acknowledge and take action to correct are wrongdoings.

 Visit your local Christian Book store or visit an online retailer and find some books or Bible studies that cover will help you to claim victory on gossip

Prayer

            Dear heavenly father we ask that you prompt us before our tongues spew words of gossip about friends, co-workers, family and even those who may have done us wrong. We ask for your forgiveness on those we may have already slandered through a malicious gossiping action. Show us ways we may correct are wrongs and give us the wisdom and courage to act upon those wrongs. We pray for those who we may have hurt through gossip whether intentionally or through lack of thinking before we spoke that they may be healed of the hurt we may have caused. We pray for this in Jesus name - Amen

[1] All scripture is from the New International Version

http://www.bacpage.org/messages/msg_gossip_073000.htm

[sincereheart]

Part 1
Pearl Street Baptist Church  Pastor Ron Dixon
THE PROBLEM OF GOSSIP  James 3:1-12

Four pastors were accustomed to meeting together weekly to pray for each other. One day, as they were meeting, it was agreed that they would confess their secret sins. The 1st pastor began, "My secret sin is anger. I may seem to you to be calm and collected, but underneath this calm exterior, I’m just seething with anger all the time." The 2nd pastor then confessed, "Brothers, my secret sin is envy. I look at the nice houses and cars of my parishioners and, well, I want that stuff for myself!" Then the 3rd pastor said, "My secret sin is lust. It’s something I’m constantly battling in my mind!" Finally, the 4th pastor spoke up, "Brothers, my secret sin is gossip, and, frankly, I can hardly wait for this meeting to end!"

I began a sermon series last Sunday on Practical Christian Living. After the service, someone asked me, "What are you going to preach on next week? Anger? Depression? Stress?" My response was, "Next week I’m going to preach on gossip, and, if you’re not here, I might just talk about you!" You’ll notice that I call this message The Problem of Gossip. Gossip is a problem, not only in the world, but in the Church. It is a problem in this church. I dare say it is likely that almost everyone here has been guilty of gossip at some point.

The Bible has much to say about gossip. I’m going to ask you to take your Bible, and consider with me the seven questions that are printed on your bulletin insert this morning:

1) What is gossip?

Webster defines gossip as "a rumor or report of an intimate nature." Gossip is idle talk, especially about the affairs of others; rumors; innuendo. Gossip is a cancer in the body of Christ. In II Corinthians 12:20, Paul wrote this to the Christians at Corinth:

For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings [i.e., gossiping], conceits, tumults;

This is how Paul hopes not to find the Corinthians—maliciously gossiping about one another!

2) Why do people enjoy gossip?

We do enjoy gossip, now don’t we? Secretly at least, we derive some pleasure out of talking down other people. Why?

a) We’re depraved! That’s precisely Paul’s theological point in Romans 1:28-29:

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers [i.e. gossipers]

b) To elevate self. We gossip about others because we are both proud and insecure (a lethal combination)! Also, gossip inflates our sense of self-importance (as it demonstrates we’re"in the know").

c) To exact revenge. The intent of gossip often is to harm the subject of the gossip, someone who you perceive to have offended you or bested you in some manner. In churches, what happens too often is people can’t win on an issue, so they get personal and downright nasty.

Needless to say, none of these motives in gossip are honoring to Christ.

3) Does gossip necessarily involve falsehoods?

In other words, if what I’m saying is true, does that mean it’s not gossip? The answer may surprise you! Look with me at Proverbs 11:13:

A talebearer reveals secrets,
But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.

A talebearer is a gossip, someone who"reveals secrets" or betrays confidences. The tale may be true or at least contain a kernel of truth and still be gossip, if there is harmful intent.

4) Isn’t gossip pretty harmless?

Gossip isn’t really that big a deal, is it, compared with the really big sins like murder or idolatry, right? Wrong! All sin is a "big deal" because it’s offensive to God. In fact, gossip is a sin that almost inevitably divides rather than unites. Solomon made precisely that point in Proverbs 16:28:

A perverse man sows strife,
And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

[sincereheart]

Part 2
Relationships are based upon qualities such as loyalty. Who is interested in a friendship with someone who can’t keep a confidence, or who puts you down behind your back? Not me!

We are warned several times in the New Testament to beware of divisive people in our churches. The word heretic means literally "one who divides." Few people are more divisive and destructive in the local church than the person who talks down others in the fellowship. Unchecked, gossipers can destroy a church, and, in a sense, they are robbers, for they steal peoples’ reputations (ultimately destroying their own).

The James passage that we began with doesn’t address gossiping, per se, but it does describe the tremendous damage that can be caused by the wrong use of the tongue. The tongue is like the bit in a horse’s mouth, or like the rudder on the ship—so small, yet so powerful. Don’t use your tongue to tear down your brothers and sisters in Christ, but rather to build them up! Use your tongue to praise God, not to curse God’s children!

The next time we’re tempted to say something to a third party about a brother or sister in the faith, perhaps we should reflect on the Golden Rule given by our Lord, to do unto others as we would have done unto us. Perhaps we would do well to recall how we have been hurt by rumor or innuendo sometime in our past, and refrain from doing that kind of damage to one we are called to love. After all, we all know how completely wrong that childhood ditty is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Nothing hurts worse than ill-intended words!

5) Is listening to gossip a sin?

The answer to that questions lies in the definition of the word gossip. Gossip is "idle talk," it is something which happens in the context of a conversation. Certain sins require 2 participants; gossip requires a listener. Listen, this is important. When someone calls you on the telephone, and says, "Did you hear about so-and-so," if you don’t stop that person in his tracks, in effect you are saying, "Go ahead and sin. It doesn’t bother me."

6) What should you do the next time someone begins to tell you gossip?

Charles Swindoll gives four excellent suggestions to silence gossips:

a) Identify sources by name. If someone is determined to share information that is damaging or hurtful, demand that the source be specifically stated. People who gossip almost always insist on keeping their "sources" anonymous!

b) Insist on facts. Do not accept hearsay. Refuse to listen unless honest-to-goodness truth is being communicated. You can tell. Truth is rarely veiled or uncertain. Rumors fade when exposed to the light.

c) Ask the person, "May I quote you?" It’s remarkable how quickly rumor-spreaders can turn four shades of red! Equally remarkable is the speed with which they can backpedal.

d) Openly declare, "I don’t appreciate hearing that." This approach is for the strong. It might drive a wedge between you and the guilty...but it’s a sure way to halt the regular garbage delivery to your ears.

7) What should you do when you have reason to believe a brother or sister has sinned?

Once again, the answer is found in the book of Proverbs:

He who covers a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separate friends. - Proverbs 17:9

You hear that I may be involved in some sin? The wrong thing to do, the unloving thing to do, is to talk to somebody else about it. That is destructive and divisive. It’s a form of murder, actually—it’s character assassination! The right thing to do is to cover the transgression. That doesn’t mean to ignore it or wink at it, but to deal with it in a loving and confidential manner. This principle is reaffirmed and amplified in Matthew 19. If I have sinned against you, what’s the first thing you’re supposed to do (according to Jesus)? You’re to come to me in confidence. Then if I’m unresponsive, there are other steps to take. Gossiping is not one of them! Gossiping is always the wrong thing to do. Gossip is sin in every circumstance and situation!

[sincereheart]

Part 3
The goal when a brother or sister has sinned is nothing less than restoration. Paul wrote:

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Galatians 6:1

Those are the seven questions I hoped to answer regarding gossip. However, as I was preparing this sermon, I realized there was one last question to be considered:

8 ) What do you do when you are the target of gossip?

If you are active in ministry, sooner or later you are likely to be the target of innuendo and rumor. I have been, and so have some of you. The natural inclination is to fight the whispered charges publicly and aggressively. I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place for that approach, but sometimes that has the effect of pouring gasoline on a fire. I have been drawn at such times to the psalms; Psalm 27, for example:

The LORD is my light, and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.

"To eat up my flesh" is an idiom the Hebrews used to describe slander and defamation. David is saying, "Let my enemies say and do what they will. God is my strength and my defense."

The Christian songwriter, Larry Norman, was the target of much gossip in the 1970's. He wrote a song about the experience, called "Shot Down:"

I’ve been shot down, kicked around
But like a moth drawn to the flame
Here I am talking about Jesus just the same.
The ultimate defense is a life well-lived, for the honor and glory of our Savior!

On a windswept hill in an English country churchyard stands a drab, gray slate tombstone, with this inscription:

BENEATH THIS STONE, A LUMP OF CLAY,
LIES ARABELLA YOUNG,
WHO, ON THE TWENTY-FOURTH OF MAY,
BEGAN TO HOLD HER TONGUE.

I would conclude with King David’s resolve, as found in Psalm 39:1. May it be my resolve, and your resolve, in particular when it comes to gossip:

I said, I will guard my ways and keep my tongue from sin.
Amen.

[sincereheart]

Part 1
GOSSIP AND SLANDER – THE DEADLY SINS
"The words of a tale-bearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly."(Prov. 18:8 KJV)
Steve and Sarah are Christians who were a part of a closely knit family. Steve caused division in the family by slandering Sarah so that their entire family turned against her. They believed his lie, though he had no evidence for the statements he had made. As a result, Sarah no longer has contact with her family. She has been ostracized as a result of a lie.

Because the sins of gossip and slander are rampant among Christians, there are many other cases like this. Many Christians have been deceived and hurt their own relatives, even their own Christian families. They have slandered their own Christian friends. Many times Christians have slandered others causing defamed reputations and broken hearts.
These sins of gossip and slander are widespread and have serious consequences. Many of us are not aware of the devastation resulting from a slip of the tongue, saying something negative about somebody else, or making false accusations. I cannot over emphasize the severe consequences of this sin; I have seen much harm as a result.
In our generation the breaking up of families is common. Often we think this is caused by the pressures of the world around us: financial problems, the lack of friendships due to our busy schedules, or pornography to name just a few. However, our most dangerous attack is from our own willful sin. In particular, slander and gossip.
 
Speaking Falsely

Gossip is defined in Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary as "a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts." Gossip "is a rumor or report of an intimate nature." Slander is defined as "the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another's reputation." Many of us think that false refers to anything obviously untrue. However, according to definition, it is also something that "is adjusted or made so as to deceive," "is tending to mislead," "is not faithful or loyal," or "is inconsistent with the facts."
The word tale-bearer is used for the word gossip in the King James version of the Bible. The word gossip is used in the New International version (NIV). Tale-bearer defines the word gossip well. Proverbs 11:13 states that "A tale-bearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." The Bible also states that "…Whoever spreads slander is a fool." (Prov. 10:18) "A truthful witness gives honest testimony but a false witness tells lies." (Prov. 12:17 NIV) "Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor." (Prov. 25:18 NIV)
One of the ten commandments (which is often forgotten) warns against giving false testimony or witness. The following passage is from Matthew 19:16-19 NIV: "…A man came up to Jesus and asked, 'Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?' …Jesus replied,...'If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.' 'Which ones?' the man inquired. Jesus replied, 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.'" Clearly Jesus taught that giving false testimony (e.g., gossip and slander) is sin.
Paul, expounding on the commandments says, "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not bear false witness,' 'You shall not covet,' and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." (Rom. 13:8-l0) The NIV states it in this way, "…Whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor…."
Christians need to beware if they are sharing intimate information, speaking false statements or misrepresentations to others about other people. For we are not loving our neighbor and we are not loving God. When we state something false, we are doing ill to ourselves, to another person and to God. "The hypocrite (or the godless) with his mouth destroys his neighbor." (Prov. 11:9) God is not pleased when you speak falsely. He deals very seriously with this sin because slander and gossip can destroy. For "Death and life are in the power of the tongue ... " (Prov. 18:21)

[sincereheart]

Part 2
The Mouth is the Heart's Mirror
Jesus made it very clear that what comes out of a man's mouth is what is in his heart. If slander and gossip are coming out of your mouth, then that's what is inside your heart. If you are making false statements or slandering you have hurtful behavior towards others within you.
Jesus said, "…Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean.'..."(Matt. 15:10,11,19,20 NIV)
Note that false testimony and slander are included with murder, adultery, and stealing.
Stop Gossiping and Slandering
Those who have been involved in gossip and slander need to repent so that harm will not come to them and others.
"For our offenses are many in your sight, and our sins testify against us. Our offenses are ever with us, and we acknowledge our iniquities: rebellion and treachery against the Lord, turning our backs on our God, fomenting oppression and revolt, uttering lies our hearts have conceived. So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance; truth has stumbled in the streets, honesty cannot enter. Truth is nowhere to be found, and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey." (Is. 59:12-15 NIV)
As this scripture states, when we slander and gossip it causes justice to be driven back. It hides the truth and righteousness stands at a distance. As a result, unrighteousness prevails. Injustice prevails. People who are innocent become hurt. The people that you are speaking falsely about get hurt. In the example above, not only was Sarah hurt, but also her family, friends and acquaintances.
"'…Hear the word of the Lord, all you people of Judah who come through these gates to worship the Lord. This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Reform your ways and your actions, and I will let you live in this place. Do not trust in deceptive words and say, 'This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord! If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place, if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place… Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense… and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before Me in this house which bears my name and say we are safe, safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears My Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching! declares the Lord.'" (Jer. 7:2-7,9-11 NIV)
If you are a Christian and you're involved in sin of any sort, in particular gossip or slander, you are not safe to say, "I am going to church" or "I am religious." God sees your heart. God knows what you are doing. Others will know what you're doing as well.
"...To the wicked (which include supposed Christians who are walking in darkness in the areas of slander and gossip or other sin), God says: 'What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. When you see a thief, you join with him; you throw in your lot with adulterers. You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. You speak continually against your brother (or sister) and slander your own mother's son (or daughter). These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face." (Ps. 50:16-21 NIV)

[sincereheart]

Part 3

Danger!
There is a danger to those who are involved in promoting this sin.
"Therefore this is what the Lord Almighty says: 'See, I will refine and test them, for what else can I do because of the sin of my people? Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks with deceit. With his mouth each speaks cordially to his neighbor, but in his heart he sets a trap for him. Should I not punish them for this?' declares the Lord. "Should I not avenge myself on such a nation as this?'" (Jer. 9:7-9 NIV)
During Old Testament times, if a malicious witness were to take the stand to accuse a man of a crime, the two men involved in the dispute were to stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who were in office at the time. The judges made a thorough investigation and if the witness proved to be a liar, giving false testimony against (or slandering) his brother, then they were to do to him as he intended to do to his brother. This is how they purged the evil from among them. The rest of the people would hear of this and be afraid and never again would such an evil thing be done among them. They were to show no pity. Life for life; eye for eye; tooth for tooth; hand for hand; foot for foot. "A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free." Instead, "…He who pours out lies will perish." (Prov. 19:5,9 NIV) "A false witness will perish, and whoever listens to him will be destroyed forever." (Prov. 21:28 NIV) "Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy… (Ps. 10l:5 ) It was (and is) a very grievous matter to promote falsehood or to be a false witness. Just as grievous is the one who becomes part of this by receiving and believing the lie.
In addition to the Old Testament, what does the New Testament have to say about slander... those who speak falsely about someone else? When the people were asking John the Baptist what they needed to do to repent, he gave specific instructions to different individuals. One particular group he told to stop accusing people falsely. (Luke 3:14) Paul taught the following: "..I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man, do not even eat." (I Cor. 5:11 NIV)
If persons that are involved in gossip and slander do not repent of their deeds, the Lord states that they will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus said, "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches…."(Rev. 22:12-16 NIV)
He that loves and practices falsehood will not be in the kingdom of God when the consummation comes. Believers that follow these lies of gossip and slander will be separated eternally from God if they don't repent for practicing and loving falsehoods. Notice that falsehood is in the same category as witchcraft and sorcery and murderers. God Himself says in Proverbs 6:16-19 that there are six things He hates, seven that are detestable to Him and included in that list is a false witness who pours out lies.

[sincereheart]

Part 4
The Solution
What should a Christian do who is a gossiper or slanderer? A Christian who is involved in this, either spreading or listening to gossip and slander, needs to repent. Go before God, tell Him that you are sorry and ask Him to change your heart. For it is from your heart that this wickedness has proceeded. You also need to watch your tongue. There is a scripture song from Psalm 141:3 that says, "Set a watch, 0 Lord, set a watch, set a watch before my mouth. Keep the key, Oh Lord, keep the key, keep the key of my lips. As the scripture says it shall be, a prayer from the heart of me. Set a watch, oh Lord, set a watch, set a watch before my mouth."
I recommend praying or singing a prayer something like that.
Next, obey God and do not spread false reports. Stop speaking falsely about other people. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness or being part of circulating a lie. "Do not go about spreading slander (or being a tale-bearer) among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life. I am the Lord. " (Lev. 19:16 NIV)
I recommend meditating on the following scriptures concerning the tongue:
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth." (Ps. 34:11-16 NIV)
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." (Prov. 13:3 NIV)
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity. (Prov. 21:23 NIV)
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Prov. 18:21)
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:26 NIV)
"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." (James 3:5,6,10-12 NIV)

[sincereheart]

Dealing with Gossip and Slander
What should one do if confronted with gossip or slander? If it is obvious that what is being said belongs in one of these categories, then simply tell the person that you are not interested in that information. Confront them about being a gossip or slanderer as appropriate. If it is not obvious, or if the information you hear raises a serious concern about the one being spoken about, go to that person and find out if that statement is true. Do not pass on the questionable information to others during this process. Doing this will stop (or slow) the sin of gossip or slander from spreading and possibly rescue someone who is in sin. You will keep your own conscience clear and yourself free from sin, too.
What should a Christian do who realizes a Christian is a slanderer? The Bible states if your brother sins go to him. If he listens to you, you've won over your brother. If he doesn't, take one or two with you. If he doesn't listen to him, take it to the church. If he doesn't listen to the church, than do not associate with him. As stated in I Corinthians 5:11 NIV: "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked man from among you.'" Clearly slanderers, if they do not repent of their sin when confronted, are to be expelled from the church. Others who participate in their slander by believing and promoting their lies become slanderers themselves and are also told to repent. If they don't, they are to be expelled from the church, too. You're not even to eat with such a one but to treat them as an outsider. Perhaps then their soul will be saved in the day of judgment. Remember,
"…Where there is no tale-bearer, strife ceases." (Prov.26:20)
and
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." (Prov. 20:19 NIV)
Comfort to Victims
Finally, what is God saying to those that are victims of slander?
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matt. 5:11,12 NIV)
You are not the only ones who have been falsely accused. John the Baptist was falsely accused of having a demon. (Luke 7:33) The disciples at Pentecost were ridiculed and called drunk after they received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:13) Steven was falsely accused by the Sanhedrin (religious leaders) who produced false witnesses who testified, saying, "..This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law."(Acts 6:13 NIV) Paul was taken before a king and called a trouble maker. He was accused of stirring up riots among the Jews all over the world and even of desecrating the temple. (Acts 24:5,6) Paul was aware of the slander spoken against him. (Rom.3: Jesus was told he cast out demons by Satan. He was called a glutton and a drunkard. Remember Jesus' response: "...wisdom is proved right by her actions." (Matt. 11:18,19 NIV)
"The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death." (Mt. 26:59 NIV)
It's amazing that even the leaders of the Israelite nation at the time were trying to kill the Son of God who was preaching truth, righteousness, healing and delivering many people. If religious leaders did that to Jesus, they will persecute us also. (Jn. 15:20) And "…Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (2 Tim. 3:12 NIV)
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, 'If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?' So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." (I Pet. 4:12-19 NIV)
http://www.usarepent.com/Chapters/Gossip%20and%20Slander.htm

[sincereheart]

Gossip
by Barbara Smith

One humorist explained gossip as "something that goes in one ear, out the other, and over the back fence." John Brantingham winked at gossip saying, "There's so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it little behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us."

Though Christians may chuckle sympathetically, we know gossip fuels so many daily conversations. And we know Scripture doesn't wink at gossip, or the bearer of careless tales: Solomon condemns those who betray a confidence, calling him, or her, perverse! He says a gossip separates close friends. ( Prov. 11:13, 6:28) Gossip goes deep into the heart of those who hear it, and fans the flames of quarrels. ( Prov. 18:8, 26:20)

George Eliot described gossip as "a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it; it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker." (_Daniel Deronds_) What a portrayal of too many of our conversations, even those among Christians!

When we choke on the putrid air of gossip, how can we throw open a window and freshen stale conversations? How can we squelch this passion to repeat and listen to unwise words we readily confess?

1. Confess that we are part of the problem. We have unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips! We all have gossiped, deliberately, accidentally. Scripture calls anyone a gossip who spreads rumors or idle, fruitless tales. Solomon counsels the godly, "avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much." (Prov. 20:19) The apostle Paul described some early believers as "not only idle but gossips [tattlers, KJV] and busybodies." (1 Tim. 5:13)

2. Remember the origin of gossip: understood the origin of gossip: "And there 's a lust in man no charm can tame Of loudly publishing our neighbour's shame; On eagles' wings immortal scandals fly, While virtuous actions are but born and die." (Stephen Harvey circa 1627 Juvenal, Satire ix)

3. Remember the One who hears every word. Gossiping grieved the Lord and Jesus warned, "For every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." (Matt. 12:36)

When we are tempted with chatty talk, "Remember, every time you open your mouth to talk, your mind walks out and parades up and down the words." (Edwin H. Stuart) What we say, shows who we are: "Language is the apparel in which your thoughts parade before the public. Never clothe them in vulgar or shoddy attire." (George Crane)

The Talmud advises practical discretion when we encounter friends who eagerly repeat rumors or reports of intimate nature. "The friend has a friend, and thy friends' friend has a friend: be discrete." If discretion won't restrain the folks dying to dish the dirt, perhaps common sense will. A gentle reminder that "Who gossips to you, will gossip of you," might end unkind conversations.

Love in Christ,
bwsmith
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© Barbara W. Smith 2000, all rights reserved
http://www.pds-thirdfloor.com/gossip.html

[sincereheart]

"Choose Your Words Carefully"

James 3:1-12

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Choose your words carefully. I should know. As a pastor I’ve gotten into trouble because I didn’t. I may have meant something entirely different than the way my words were taken. I may have not considered how what I said could have sounded like to someone who didn’t understand. I may not have really meant what I said. Whatever the case, not choosing my words carefully caused damage to relationships, to the ministry of this church. And thus James wrote, Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. Pastors and teachers and staff ministers are "judged more strictly" by God, whose Word it is they proclaim, and by people whose souls are entrusted to their care. So we need to be careful to say what we mean and mean what we say.

But what is true for a teacher or preacher is just as true for all Christians. All of us need to choose our words carefully. As James wrote, [ships] are so large and are driven by strong winds,[yet] they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. We all have had the experience of saying the wrong words or thoughtless words to disastrous ends. Yet as Christians we need to remember that we represent Christ as Ambassadors of God. And as Ambassadors of God people take what we say seriously.

Luck

For that reason today I want to talk about five things that should not be a part of a Christian’s speech. The first thing that shouldn’t be a part of a Christian speech are the words "luck" and "fortune." I know we use those words without thinking. We say "It was bad luck that it rained on Kick Off Sunday." Or, "Isn’t our church fortunate to have such a good organist?" Or, "Wasn’t she lucky to marry such a nice man." Or, "What a lucky bounce!"

But as Christians we don’t believe in luck or fortune. We believe in God, and a Scripture-informed faith knows that all good gifts are ultimately from God. The concept of luck states that good things happen just by accident. And most people believe that things just happen by chance, or worse yet, some sort of cosmic karma. When we use those words: "luck" and "fortune" we unwittingly reinforce that understanding.

Instead of saying that someone is lucky or fortunate we need to say what we mean and mean what we say. We should say that people are blessed. Such words reflect the spiritual reality behind the event that others would label as luck . We know that every good gift is from God. So talk like it! When something good happens say something like, "thank God" or "What a wonderful blessing, it’s a gift from God."

http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm
Sermon No. 639
Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church
September 17, 2000 Pentecost 14 B RCL

[sincereheart]

"Choose Your Words Carefully" - cont.
Pessimism

Another thing that shouldn’t be in a Christian’s speech are words of pessimism. There are some people who just seem to be able to put a pessimistic slant on anything. Once upon a time there was a man who won a million dollars. Upon hearing this news he became despondent. When asked why he said, "Do you know what the taxes are on a million dollars?"

When things same bleak, or when they don’t go the way we had hoped, we sometimes spew pessimism, saying words like "hopeless" or giving the impression we believe things are. But if God is the Almighty, and Christ is the Savior, and the Holy Spirit is at work in the world, is any situation truly hopeless? Is any person truly hopeless - beyond even the grasp of God? If God had thought someone was or would be, then he would not have sent his Son to die for their hopeless cause. (Remember, Jesus Christ died for all people, not just the "good" ones!)

The spiritual truth is that there is hope! So our words should offer hope. No matter how bleak a situation we should not give in to pessimism. I am not advocating polyanism. We can admit that a situation is bad and still offer hope. After all Jesus never lied to us about how bad our situation was - his word is clear, "the wages of sin is death", but he never left it at that. He also offered us hope, "the gift of God is eternal life".

Self Determination

Another thing that should not be a part of a Christians speech are words of self determination. James himself addressed this issue in Chapter 4. He wrote that we should not say things like, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money"(4:13). As James points out we don’t know if we will even be alive tomorrow, let alone next year. We are not in charge of our own future. Only God knows.

So instead of saying, "I will do this or that" we should say, "Lord willing, I will do this or that." You see, most people like to think they are "Masters of their own destiny." But we know that destiny has nothing to do with it and God is the master of our future. God is the one who will determine if we can do this or that. We may make plans but our speech should reflect Christ’s reign not only in our lives but all life.

Slurs

Another thing that should not be a part of a Christian’s speech is racial slurs. Of course there are the obvious examples, those offensive names that hate mongers have spread for certain racial groups. Where there is a racial slur, there is racial prejudice. There is no excuse for a Christian ever using those words. I don’t care if your parents or grandparents used those names and taught you to. Just because they did it doesn’t make it right. And just because they taught you to speak like that doesn’t mean you can’t unlearn that habit. This of course includes racial jokes. I remember when I was little we used to tell Polish jokes. We didn't call them that. We had another term for them. These jokes basically made Polish people seem ignorant and unthinking. There are similar groups of jokes for just about every race of people.

And so James wrote, With the tongue ... we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. We were all made in the image of God whether we are red, yellow, black, white, male, or female. When we tell a racial joke it demeans a whole group of people. Those people were created in God's image, Christ Jesus rose from the dead for all people and if we curse them we are cursing God. I am sorry if I stepped on a few toes but racial slurs and humor should not be part of a Christian's speech.

Gossip

Another thing that should not be part of a Christian's speech is gossip. You have heard the joke, "I don't repeat gossip, so you had better listen good the first time." Well Christians shouldn't listen or tell it the first time. But what is gossip? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a "rumor or report of an intimate nature." Gossip is any rumor or tale of another person’s personal life that is told because of its sensational nature. The problem is that often times the rumor is either not true or is completely out of context.

Most importantly Christians should not spread gossip because it shows no respect or love for the people involved. If we truly love our neighbor then we will respect their feelings. They probably don't want everyone to know their business. And if they do, it is their place to tell everyone not yours. James was right, Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Conclusion

Well, so much for the tongue lashing! I would be extremely remiss if I didn’t say one more thing: for the sake of Jesus never sinning with his speech and then having his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth in death, God forgives you all the trouble you have caused with your tongue. And this forgiveness is not the sham kind, where it only comes if you behave for a while first. No, this is total free, all is forgiven, all is forgotten forgiveness. This is the only way it can be for James was also right when he wrote, We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man. Only Jesus is the perfect man and only because of Jesus does God forgive us. This is really good news.

And this changes everything about how we now use our tongues. Now we can allow them to be used by God to kindle the flames of the Holy Spirit. Choose your words carefully - pick the words of truth, the words of the Gospel and then when you speak you will start the right kind of fires. So choose your words carefully. Take the time to think about what you say, how it will be taken, and what it will do. See to it that your words truly reflect the truth of God and not the lies of the devil. But most of all use your words to proclaim the hope and love of our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ, his Son, our Savior. Amen.

http://www.cosrock.org/Sermon-2000-09-17.htm
Sermon No. 639
Christ Our Savior Lutheran Church
September 17, 2000 Pentecost 14 B RCL