Women Strike Back!

[HopeAndFaith]

i love that one!

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

If we had a "spitdrink" emote here at CU, i would have surely used it! that was pretty good.

[Shylynne]

"spitdrink"

Courses for Men
-Taught By Women, For Men.

101
Combating Stupidity

102
You Too Can Do Housework

103
P.M.S. – Learning when NOT to speak.

104
How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray

105
What Not To Buy Her

106
Basic Laundry Techniques


107
Parenting – No, It Doesn't End With Conception

108
Cooking -  A Skill You Can Learn Too

109
How Not To Act Like A Ignoramus When You Are Obviously Wrong


110
Understanding Big Boys Do Not Need Toys


111
Reasons To Give Flowers

112
Garbage – Getting It To the Curb

113
The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous

114
How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

115
How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

116
The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency

117
Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes

118
How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

119
You Too Can Be a Designated Driver

120
Changing Your Underwear  

121
Real Men Ask For Directions

122
How To Take Illness Like a Man

[Forrest]

 ARGUMENTS
> |
> |
> | A woman has the last word in any argument.
> |
> |
> | Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


AND FINALLY...
> |
> |
> | A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
> |
> | An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
> | to
> |
> | concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses,
> | and
> |
> | pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
> |
> |
> | "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

[The Crusader]

Thats A KEEPER

[Tibby]

You girls seem to have a problem understandign the world. So I posted a country songto help you.

The Truth About Men
by Tracy Bird

We don't like to go out shoppin
We don't care what's on sale
We just wanna to sit with a bag full of chips watchin the NFL

When you come over at half time
And say does this dress fit to tight
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie
And say "uh uh fits just right"

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf on our days off
And scratch and spit and cuss
No matter what line we hand ya when we come draggin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably happen again

We hate watchin steal magnolias
We like Rambo and die hard 4
Jump up and down like fools
When we see the new tools
At the Home Depot store
We don't really want to take you to dinner
At some fancy resturant
The only reason we do is cause it all leads to the one thing that we all want

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about guys
We'd rather pick gituars and work on cars
Than work on the problems in our lives
And though we say it to ya every now and then
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again

Well if you wanna know what we're all thinkin
It's nothin to complex
It's just something cold for drinkin
And a whole lot of S.E.S.

That's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf and drive around lost
And scratch and spit and a whole lot of other disgusting stuff
It don't matter what line we give you
When we come crawlin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen
Sure it's gonna happen
Ya know it's gonna happen again

THAT'S THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN!!

I still love you all

[Shylynne]

YE SLUBBERDEGULLION!  

Men are such prattling gabblers, freckled bittors, mangy rascals,  scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows,  druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, turdy gutten ...

*gasps for air*

...and further are not worthy of a sidelong glance from these, we dainty  maidens fair, and might as  well content themselves with in the company of coarse unranged dogs who are their only willing companions  

(pray dont seek or ask for definitions to my sixteenth century babble or I could be in serious trouble lol)  

[Reba]

Shylynne


Sounds like you could use a trip to the  "What is Gossip" thread  

[Tibby]

Well, if you don't like us being prattling gabblers, freckled bittors, mangy rascals,  scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows,  druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, and turdy guttens, then stop making us like that

I don't know for sure, but I think you broke the forum rules more then 8 times during that list, don't you  

[Forrest]

Can't eat beef........  mad cow disease.

 

 

Can't eat chicken......bird flu.

 

 

 

 

Can't eat eggs......again, that bird flu.



Can't eat fish.......heavy metals in the water has poisoned their meat.




 

 

Can't eat fruits and veggies.......insecticides and herbicides.



 

 

Hmmmmmmmmm!

 

I believe that only leaves Chocolate!

 

 
 
 
 
 

[HopeAndFaith]

I don't know for sure, but I think you broke the forum rules more then 8 times during that list, don't you

Tibby, you crack me up! I got a good laugh out of that one.

Yup, Forrest, Chocolate never hurt nobody.

[Shylynne]

"I don't know for sure, but I think you broke the forum rules more then 8 times during that list, don't you "  

uh, i`m not sure but you could be right tibby...but if arrested i`ll plead temporary lack of oxygen.

cides...I left out the most important word of all...it was supposed to say..."Men are such lovable..."  

"Sounds like you could use a trip to the  "What is Gossip" thread"  

But  its all biblical sister...spare the rod and spoil the manchild  

I think  forrest is too kind to say so but may be wishin to choke me with chocolate  

 

[sincereheart]

Hmmmmmmmmm!

I believe that only leaves Chocolate!

Forrest, I do believe you have the best grasp on my kind of diet!  

You girls seem to have a problem understandign the world. So I posted a country songto help you.

'Girls' - ROFL! Thank you, Tibby, for all your help! Come back when you're a man (you know, at least older than a teen ) and tell us all about it!   See below for Courses: 101, 103, 109 for your start into the world of being a man!  

[Tibby]

Tibby, you crack me up! I got a good laugh out of that one.

glad I could help  

[sincereheart]

You girls seem to have a problem understandign the world. So I posted a country songto help you.

The Truth About Men
by Tracy Bird

We don't like to go out shoppin
We don't care what's on sale
We just wanna to sit with a bag full of chips watchin the NFL

When you come over at half time
And say does this dress fit to tight
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie
And say "uh uh fits just right"

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf on our days off
And scratch and spit and cuss
No matter what line we hand ya when we come draggin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably happen again

We hate watchin steal magnolias
We like Rambo and die hard 4
Jump up and down like fools
When we see the new tools
At the Home Depot store
We don't really want to take you to dinner
At some fancy resturant
The only reason we do is cause it all leads to the one thing that we all want

Well that's the truth about men
That's the truth about guys
We'd rather pick gituars and work on cars
Than work on the problems in our lives
And though we say it to ya every now and then
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again

Well if you wanna know what we're all thinkin
It's nothin to complex
It's just something cold for drinkin
And a whole lot of S.E.S.

That's the truth about men
That's the truth about us
We like to hunt and golf and drive around lost
And scratch and spit and a whole lot of other disgusting stuff
It don't matter what line we give you
When we come crawlin in
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen again
We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry
And it's probably gonna happen
Sure it's gonna happen
Ya know it's gonna happen again

THAT'S THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN!!

I still love you all

Since Tibby is still pouting, I thought I'd post another country song to help him understand..... DISCLAIMER: I am in no way promoting drinking!  

Guys Do It All The Time
(sung by: Mindy McCready)
(written by: Bobby Whiteside/Kim Tribble)

Got in this morning at 4 a.m.
You're as mad as you can be
Well I was drinking and talking and you know how that goes
Time just slipped away from me
By the time I knew what time it was
It was too late to call home
Stop carrying on acting like a child
I wasn't doing anything wrong

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

I know I left my clothes all over the place
And I took your twenty bucks
No I didn't get the front yard cut
'Cause I had to wash my truck
Will you bring me a cold one, baby
And turn on the TV
We'll talk about this later
There's a ball game I wanna see

Guys do it all the time
And you expect us to understand
When the shoe's on the other foot
You know that's when it hits the fan
Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

You look like you just took a long look in the mirror
Tell me baby if things don't look a whole lot clearer

Get over it, honey, life's a two way street
Or you won't be a man of mine
So I had some beers with the girls last night
Guys do it all the time

Yeah, guys do it
Yeah, guys do it
All the time, all the time
Yeah, guys do it
Yeah, guys do it

[Tibby]

I know I left my clothes all over the place
And I took your twenty bucks
No I didn't get the front yard cut
'Cause I had to wash my truck
Will you bring me a cold one, baby
And turn on the TV
We'll talk about this later
There's a ball game I wanna see

Whats wrong with that?