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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
277688 Posts in 26446 Topics by 3790 Members
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| | |-+  Men strike back!
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Author Topic: Men strike back!  (Read 9073 times)
Coyote
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« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2004, 10:06:14 AM »

Thats the guy John Paul Jones... He was in Led Zepplin too;)
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2004, 11:36:26 AM »

Thats the guy John Paul Jones... He was in Led Zepplin too;)

 Grin
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Shylynne
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Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


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« Reply #32 on: March 16, 2004, 06:48:19 PM »

I would like to quote a naval officer(whose name eludes me) "I have not yet begun to fight!!!" But unfortunatly I have nothing to back it up, and the wife told me to behave.... Grin

 LOL!
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The Crusader
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« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2004, 05:19:24 AM »

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
 
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women  are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men  that dominated their women, there was only one man.
 
God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created  you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
 
Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this  line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand  here."
 
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The Crusader
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« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2004, 05:32:25 AM »

Why Did God Make Mothers?  Answers by elementary school kids:

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work AND work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she is perfect, on the outside some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of    that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did    it and not me.


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nChrist
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« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2004, 02:38:09 PM »

Oklahoma Howdy to The Crusader,

 Grin   Grin  Thanks Brother! - I needed those laughs.

I'm the one in charge at my house, but I only come out when my wife lets me.


 Grin

Love In Christ,
Tom
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Shylynne
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« Reply #36 on: March 24, 2004, 05:40:05 PM »

Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.  Grin
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

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Brother Love
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« Reply #37 on: July 23, 2004, 05:24:49 AM »

*Bump* Grin

Men strike back!

---------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
---------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
---------------------------------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin
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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
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http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

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Kristi Ann
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« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2004, 02:19:30 PM »


---------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin



LOL Grin GRRRRRRRR   Angry


ummmm God made man, then said I can do better than that, He created Woman!!

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Brother Love
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« Reply #39 on: August 04, 2004, 06:01:54 AM »


---------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin



LOL Grin GRRRRRRRR   Angry


ummmm God made man, then said I can do better than that, He created Woman!!



NO Sister, Its In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin


<Smiley))><
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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

<Smiley))><
Kristi Ann
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« Reply #40 on: August 04, 2004, 04:25:05 PM »


---------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin



LOL Grin GRRRRRRRR   Angry


ummmm God made man, then said I can do better than that, He created Woman!!



NO Sister, Its In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin


<Smiley))><



GRRRRRR ACK..... Grin



Genesis 2
15   And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16   And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
17   But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
18   And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19   And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20   And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21   And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22   And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a Woman, and brought her unto the man.
23   And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24   Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25   And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.


********************************************

Living Word!!

Blessings,   \o/

KristiAnn
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Shammu
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B(asic) I(nstructions) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth)


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« Reply #41 on: August 05, 2004, 12:44:44 AM »


---------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin



LOL Grin GRRRRRRRR   Angry


ummmm God made man, then said I can do better than that, He created Woman!!



NO Sister, Its In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 Grin


<Smiley))><



GRRRRRR ACK..... Grin



Genesis 2
15   And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16   And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
17   But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
18   And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19   And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20   And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21   And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22   And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a Woman, and brought her unto the man.
23   And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24   Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25   And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.


********************************************

Living Word!!

Blessings,   \o/

KristiAnn
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a Woman, and brought her unto the man.
Ah now I see why women are a pain in a mans side. Wink Grin
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Brother Love
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« Reply #42 on: August 05, 2004, 05:34:32 AM »

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a Woman, and brought her unto the man.
Ah now I see why women are a pain in a mans side.

Good One DreamWeaver Grin You Get "TWO" Thumbs UP Grin

<Smiley))><
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THINGS THAT DIFFER By C.R. Stam
Read it on line for "FREE"

http://www.geocities.com/protestantscot/ttd/ttd_chap1.html

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« Reply #43 on: September 10, 2004, 08:41:15 AM »

"Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece." ~unknown

 Tongue
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Symphony
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« Reply #44 on: September 12, 2004, 09:20:37 PM »


   Tongue


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