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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
277692 Posts in 26446 Topics by 3790 Members
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| | |-+  Men strike back!
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Author Topic: Men strike back!  (Read 9078 times)
Sapphire W34P0N
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We'll party like we're dead.


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« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2004, 04:41:29 PM »

Why hasn't there ever been a woman on the moon?

It's not dirty yet.
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Coyote
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Aim High!!!!!!


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« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2004, 01:52:42 AM »

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Grin
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Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
The Crusader
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« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2004, 06:33:04 AM »

My Favorite: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

ROFLOL
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Shylynne
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Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


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« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2004, 07:59:53 PM »

« Last Edit: March 08, 2004, 08:07:50 PM by Shylynne » Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
JudgeNot
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Jesus, remember me... Luke 23:42


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« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2004, 11:20:49 PM »

A dog would NEVER let Billy Clinton defile his house...
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JPD
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« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2004, 06:52:07 AM »



LOL



--------------------------------------------------


LOL, A dog would NEVER let Billy Clinton defile his house...

How true JudgeNot Wink
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Shylynne
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« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2004, 07:08:30 AM »

K listen up men, you might be able to help yourselves here!

Dr. Mellow's Guide To Women

Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men can ever hope to understand women. Hopefully, with these guidelines, men will have a better understanding of the mysterious ways of womankind.The first thing one must remember about a woman is that she knows everything. This is without exception. To go as far as say that a woman knows what you are thinking is not unrealistic. If, at any point of time, you are unsure of what you are thinking, one of the best ways to find out is to ask the nearest woman.

But, unfortunately, there is a drawback to asking a woman such a question . This drawback is that she, in all probability, will answer. And once a woman starts talking, it is very rare that she will ever stop. I believe this has something to do with the way that women think. Women believe that as long as they are talking, people listen to her. Of course, listening to a woman talk can be very tedious at times. It is OK not to listen to her as long as you nod your head in agreement and say Uh-huh every now and then. This makes the woman think you are listening and therefore she is happy.

Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all chaos breaks loose. In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons include the 1 month anniversary, the 1 year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and real estate.

Often, when a woman says something, it is not what she means. But, other times, she says exactly what she means. It is only possible to distinguish these two cases if you are a woman. Since women already know the nature of women, this is of no use to them. For men, we can only hope to distinguish the difference, for a mistake in judgement can result in death.

Women know what men want. This is very strange, because even as sometimes men dont know what they are thinking, men usually dont know what they want. However, I must observe that it seems that what men want for the most part is women. This is unfortunate, for women know this fact and know that it is possible for them to do almost anything and this fact will not change.

Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men, knowing how evil they are, not to love them.  


« Last Edit: March 09, 2004, 09:44:51 AM by Shylynne » Logged


“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
The Crusader
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« Reply #22 on: March 10, 2004, 04:40:21 AM »

K listen up men, you might be able to help yourselves here!

Dr. Mellow's Guide To Women

Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men can ever hope to understand women. Hopefully, with these guidelines, men will have a better understanding of the mysterious ways of womankind.The first thing one must remember about a woman is that she knows everything. This is without exception. To go as far as say that a woman knows what you are thinking is not unrealistic. If, at any point of time, you are unsure of what you are thinking, one of the best ways to find out is to ask the nearest woman.

But, unfortunately, there is a drawback to asking a woman such a question . This drawback is that she, in all probability, will answer. And once a woman starts talking, it is very rare that she will ever stop. I believe this has something to do with the way that women think. Women believe that as long as they are talking, people listen to her. Of course, listening to a woman talk can be very tedious at times. It is OK not to listen to her as long as you nod your head in agreement and say Uh-huh every now and then. This makes the woman think you are listening and therefore she is happy.

Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all chaos breaks loose. In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons include the 1 month anniversary, the 1 year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and real estate.

Often, when a woman says something, it is not what she means. But, other times, she says exactly what she means. It is only possible to distinguish these two cases if you are a woman. Since women already know the nature of women, this is of no use to them. For men, we can only hope to distinguish the difference, for a mistake in judgement can result in death.

Women know what men want. This is very strange, because even as sometimes men dont know what they are thinking, men usually dont know what they want. However, I must observe that it seems that what men want for the most part is women. This is unfortunate, for women know this fact and know that it is possible for them to do almost anything and this fact will not change.

Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men, knowing how evil they are, not to love them.  




How True

Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men, knowing how evil they are, not to love them.  

Amen Cheesy
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Shylynne
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Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


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« Reply #23 on: March 10, 2004, 08:02:08 AM »

*snickers*

Is the strike over now?


 Tongue
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
sincereheart
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"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


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« Reply #24 on: March 10, 2004, 08:17:32 AM »

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, ''What happened here today?''

She again smiled and answered, ''You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?''

''Yes,'' was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, ''Well, today I didn't do it.''

Author Unknown
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nChrist
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May God Lead And Guide Us All


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« Reply #25 on: March 10, 2004, 12:55:12 PM »

Oklahoma Howdy to All Guys,

Guys, I think we have been whipped into a corner with no way out. Unconditional surrender seems to be our only choice.

Yep!, that's right for us.

Pink apron doing the dishes.
Hair net on while doing the cooking.
Mowing with our pink lawn mowers.
Candy and flowers to the little ladies for a month.
No more forgotten birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
Stand at attention and say, "Yes, Admiral" when they speak to us.

For those guys who are unwilling to admit complete defeat, one must remember at least two things:

There is no place to hide.
You're not safe when you are asleep.


Yes, we are:


YES SIR, UH??, MA'AM!, UH??, ADMIRAL!
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Shylynne
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Oh that I might kiss the feet of God!


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« Reply #26 on: March 10, 2004, 06:56:42 PM »

muahahahaha  Grin
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“Christianity isn't all that complicated … it's Jesus.”   — Joni Eareckson Tada

There is no force on earth as powerful as one human soul set ablaze with the Spirit of God -  Shylynne
sincereheart
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"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


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« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2004, 07:36:04 AM »













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Coyote
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Aim High!!!!!!


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« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2004, 06:16:53 PM »

I would like to quote a naval officer(whose name eludes me) "I have not yet begun to fight!!!" But unfortunatly I have nothing to back it up, and the wife told me to behave.... Grin
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Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
sincereheart
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"and with His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


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« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2004, 06:27:58 PM »

I would like to quote a naval officer(whose name eludes me) "I have not yet begun to fight!!!"

John Paul Jones, during the Revolutionary War, said that when a British Admiral asked if he would surrender because his ship was all shot up and about to sink.... Tongue


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