Welcome to this forum Tammy,
I hope that you do find your time here good and enjoyable. We are praying for you in this time.
But I would also recommend you reach out to your pastor, and if you do not have one, then I would strongly suggest that you get one.
Having someone local that you can talk to and pray with is always a great thing. And if you can find someone to help disciple you so that you can understand better what God has in store for you, then that helps out too.