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Author Topic: Packers News Conference  (Read 5619 times)
HisDaughter
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« on: January 19, 2008, 12:39:27 AM »

In a news conference, Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday.  Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers.  During this period she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense.  A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sound idiotic and unbelievable to you?  Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of Democrats polled agreed.  She has never run a City, County, or State.

When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef."

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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2008, 12:41:25 AM »

In a news conference, Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday.  Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers.  During this period she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense.  A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sound idiotic and unbelievable to you?  Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of Democrats polled agreed.  She has never run a City, County, or State.

When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef."



I laughed so hard at that last line that I just had to put it in this section!
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nChrist
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« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2008, 01:58:50 AM »

 Grin   Grin   Grin    ROFL!


All of this makes perfect sense to me.
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2008, 11:20:49 PM »

ABC University Entrance Exam - Football Player Version

Time Limit: 3 weeks*

What language is spoken in France?

Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions or give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

Would you ask William Shakespeare to:
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d)Write a Play

What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)

Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

What are people in America's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton.

Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no

What are coat hangers used for?

The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium or spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

Where is the basement in a three story building located?

Which part of America produces the most oranges?
(a) New York
(b) Florida
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?

What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

The ABC University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting

*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify.

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HisDaughter
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« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2008, 11:23:52 PM »

Make-Up Exam

This past fall semester, at Gerogia Tech University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, even though the Chem final was on Monday, they decided to drive down to the University of Florida and party with some friends up there.

So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Tech until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Caffese after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they had driven down to Florida for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and the donut spare was flat. Unfortunately, they couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.

Professor Caffese thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied hard that night and went in the next day at the time that Professor Caffese had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a blue test booklet and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on that next page. It simply said:


(95 points) Which tire?

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nChrist
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« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2008, 11:57:20 PM »

Quote
(95 points) Which tire?

 Grin   Grin   Grin   The flat one.
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