My Testimony - "Who's the Boss"

It took me five years to learn one of the simplest keys to serving in the ministry. Let me explain with a quick background. I was one of the standard Baptist kids: saved at a young age and raised in the church. To quote a pastor: “I had a drug problem. My mom drug me to Sunday morning service, she drug me to Sunday evening service, and she drug me to Wednesday evening service.”

Then, in 1996, I joined a little Baptist church in little San Benito, TX. A year later, a new pastor came in and quickly became my best friend. He mentored me, and on April 8, 2001, I proclaimed my call to the ministry. The only problem was that, although I looked spiritual, everything I did was done to please people – mostly my pastor.

I later was invited to take a full-time missionary position at the renamed Borderland Church. I eagerly took it, but with the entire church glaring at my every move, I folded, subconsciously deciding that these people weren’t worth the trouble I was going through. My awakening came on a Sunday morning (at 6:00 a.m., I might add). My pastor woke my roommate (Zeek) and me up to let us know that we needed to carry seven (7!!) tables and forty (40!!!!) chairs from the parsonage to the church…and oh, be at Worship Team practice at 8:30. It seemed as if he was intentionally trying to make us mad.

We did the chore, but we were infuriated. Brothers’ "hello’s" were responded to with immediate "shut up’s." We went to Sunday school class with a common goal: not to care. To this day, Zeek and I do not know what the teacher was talking about, but that class changed our outlook on the ministry forever.

We know now that the teacher was reading from Colossians 3:22, which says:

“Bondservants, obey in all things your master according to the flesh, not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.”

That is what the verse says, but that is not what I heard, which went something like this:

“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah MEN-PLEASERS blah blah…”

Immediately, Zeek and I responded negatively, thinking, “But I’m doing this for You!”

“Are you?” the Holy Spirit gently nudged. Our lives were changed at that instant. We realized, then, that God wasn’t saying, “Oh Team O.Z., don’t leave! I can’t run Borderland Missions without you!” Rather, He was saying, “Oscar, I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine, and because I love you, I want to use you to glorify My kingdom.” Not because of me, but in spite of me.

None of us can please everyone, but many of us have tried. You can tell: we are the ones with the scars from falling flat on our face. How wonderful it is to know we don’t have to do it alone. Horizontal focus leads to burnout and guilt. Vertical focus leads to abundant joy and peace.