Pornography

[LisaR]

I think my husband is addicted to porn, or maybe it is something more. I go to sleep around 10 pm and he stays up sometimes till 4 in the morning. I have woke up several different times and caught him looking at porn on the internet. I also think he is chatting with someone but I do not know who. The last time he said that he was talking to a guy from work. What can I do. A little history about me. I had breast cancer about 3 years ago and had surgery but the Dr just took the lump out. I had chemo & radiation which has made me not really interested in a lot of sex. We have been married for 8 years. I feel betrayed. He has said that he has been saved and baptized.

[Pizza_Mahal]

I know, I'm not allow be here but.... Your husband MIGHT VERY LIKELY addicted to porn because I'm admit that I'm porn addicted as well, I been porn addicted for over 10 years(I'm still endure, thought).Is hard to endure Porn addicted.
 If your husband says is true then he must be shame and feel little(or worse) guilty after he did his "thing" or view porn.

OR he maybe he just miss having "love" with you. (AHH! I don't want get ban for this)


How I become porn addicted? Since I was 4 or 5 year old, my family show me a porn video and It got worse, is when my so-called "friends", they show me porn at my age of 6 or 7 year old.

Yup, i got bad childhood

Anyway I pray for you and your husband. I don't know what your husband name, but I just say help "LisaR husband" if you don't mind.

Edit-Note to Pastor Roger, Please don't ban me! I just trying to help

[Debp]

I think my husband is addicted to porn, or maybe it is something more. I go to sleep around 10 pm and he stays up sometimes till 4 in the morning. I have woke up several different times and caught him looking at porn on the internet. I also think he is chatting with someone but I do not know who. The last time he said that he was talking to a guy from work. What can I do. A little history about me. I had breast cancer about 3 years ago and had surgery but the Dr just took the lump out. I had chemo & radiation which has made me not really interested in a lot of sex. We have been married for 8 years. I feel betrayed. He has said that he has been saved and baptized.

Hi Lisa.  I'm sorry to hear about your husband's apparent addiction to porn.  We must all pray that he will be convicted of this and that he will seek to discontinue this behavior.  I am trying to be delicate here....but the Bible does say that Christian husbands and wives should fulfill each other's "needs" in marriage.  Sometimes couples take a time apart for prayer, but should come together again so they are not tempted sexually in other ways.

Can you try talking to your husband in Christian love about his possible addiction and about how your treatments affected you?  Try to give him your love more....perhaps then he will be able to conquer this addiction and break off any wrong attachment he may have with someone in "chat rooms".  God bless and keep us updated, Lisa.

I know, I'm not allow be here but.... Your husband MIGHT VERY LIKELY addicted to porn because I'm admit that I'm porn addicted as well, I been porn addicted for over 10 years(I'm still endure, thought).Is hard to endure Porn addicted.
 If your husband says is true then he must be shame and feel little(or worse) guilty after he did his "thing" or view porn.

OR he maybe he just miss having "love" with you. (AHH! I don't want get ban for this)


How I become porn addicted? Since I was 4 or 5 year old, my family show me a porn video and It got worse, is when my so-called "friends", they show me porn at my age of 6 or 7 year old.

Yup, i got bad childhood

Anyway I pray for you and your husband. I don't know what your husband name, but I just say help "LisaR husband" if you don't mind.

Edit-Note to Pastor Roger, Please don't ban me! I just trying to help

Pizza Mahal, I'm very sorry that you had the awful experience of being exposed to porn at such a young, innocent age.  I wish that you never had to go through those bad experiences.  My heart goes out to any child that has to endure any evil, especially evil inflicted on him or her from adults.

I pray that you will seek to break this porn habit with the Lord's help.  Remember your past is all washed clean through the blood of Christ.  I pray that you will try to resist this temptation the next time.  Keep resisting each time and eventually you will be free, with God's help.

God bless you and give you a strong desire for His holiness, to fill your whole being.  In Jesus' name, amen.

[Shammu]

LisaR, I'll be praying for you, and your family.

OR he maybe he just miss having "love" with you. (AHH! I don't want get ban for this)


Edit-Note to Pastor Roger, Please don't ban me! I just trying to help

Pizza Al you won't get banned for being in the womens area.  We have had some women post in the mens area.

Pizza Al, have you read the book of James 1, in your Bible?  If not, James 1 is asking God for wisdom against temptation.

[LisaR]

We have talked about the treatments and what they have done. He knows about all of that. I want to and try to be more loving. It does not make any difference. We can make love one night and he is on the internet the next. He lies about it all the time, he will not admit that he is looking at the porn or chatting with someone. It is very hard for me to make love when I feel like he is compairing me to the women that he is looking at or thinking about them when he is making love to me. I do not know what to say to him that would make any difference. Thanks every one and Bless all of you. Pizza Mahal it is a good thing to hear the man's point of view. Sorry about your past. I pray that God helps you and blesses you.

[Debp]

We have talked about the treatments and what they have done. He knows about all of that. I want to and try to be more loving. It does not make any difference. We can make love one night and he is on the internet the next. He lies about it all the time, he will not admit that he is looking at the porn or chatting with someone. It is very hard for me to make love when I feel like he is compairing me to the women that he is looking at or thinking about them when he is making love to me. I do not know what to say to him that would make any difference. Thanks every one and Bless all of you. Pizza Mahal it is a good thing to hear the man's point of view. Sorry about your past. I pray that God helps you and blesses you.

Thanks for explaining, Lisa.  I'm sorry....we all really need to pray for him to be convicted of this sin and that he will realize that true beauty is what is inside of a woman.  There are many "beautiful" women on the outside that are ugly on the inside.

[danielleenbody]

Oh LisaR, I am so sorry. I will pray for your husband. I am married to a non-believer who is easily addicted to allot of things (alcohol, gambling). It is very frustrating, but I can't imagine going through that. How heart breaking. If he is willing to change, get rid of the computer all together. THROW THE THING AWAY!!! It might stink to have to write checks again but if it works who cares? We got along just fine without them 100 yrs ago, if you need one for work, get a lap top and bring it with you wherever you go.
 It is hard to submit to your husband especially when you are so hurt and angry. I am sure you have done this but try praying over him while he is sleeping. I will pray for you, God can move mountains.
God Bless,

[Maryjane]

It is very hard to be married to an unbeliever..There are consequences and the consequences are harder than others since it involves marriage which is a union that makes two people one and a house divided cannot stand...No one can change a person but the Lord and all one can do is pray and to trust the Lord with what you know only he can do...There is no time limit on when God will answer your prayer but he will in His time...Until then...a wife is to be a wife that loves her husband..for better or worse...and to love the spouse enough to know it is sin that is at work in the person for the person does not know the Lord and will act lost for he or she is lost...and in knowing this..to have compassion and to pray for your spouse and never give up praying and above all walk the talk...
I pray the Lord will give you compassion..wisdom...and strength as you pray down the strongholds...I will be praying for you and your husband...

[Stryder1030]

LisaR, did you know you can actually block what he views online?  Depending on what kind of internet source you use, there are different ways around this.  You will initiate a password and you will be the only one to be able to use it or change it.  You will have to do a little research to review the sites he needs to view on a regular basis like maybe yahoo news or any of his online banking he might do, then you can give full access to the sites you and your family need while those that do not have a rating or have a bad rating will be blocked requesting a password. 

I too have been on the receiving end of lovings from a porn addict.  I have read books and looked at sites trying to figure out if it is me or if it is him.  The truth is, this sin lies on your husband alone.  Do NOT try to take the blame or be held accountable for HIS sins.  I do believe that in marriage you both must be held accountable as you are one flesh in the eyes of God, however, if you are fully willing to submit to your husband and have informed him of this, you are doing all you can.  I know there are two sides to every story and I can not say that I have been fully pristine in God's eyes (as we are not married) however, if you truly take a look at yourself and discover yourself within God you will be able to do nothing but pray for your husband.  I heard once to pray for a wreath of thorns; so that when he attempts to do those things that are bringing him pleasure in a sinful nature, he will get hurt.  As much as we don't wish pain upon any of those we love, sometimes we need to help them with lessons.  After the wreath of thorns, ask for a wreath of protection so that once he finally can stop, the temptation won't return.  There is nothing worse than going back to a sin after you've defeated it.

I will pray for you and your husband.  I also pray for your health and emotions.

[Soldier4Christ]

Be very careful in asking for a "Wreath of Thorns" as the Lord may do so for your own sins. It is better to ask that the Lord open their eyes to what they are doing to themselves and to their loved ones and to have mercy on them in helping them to overcome their temptations.

[LisaR]

I will not ask for a wreath of thorns. I do not want anything bad to happen to anyone. I have taken the computer out of the room, I still have one in the living room. I do not think that he will get on it and do anything like that because I am in there. We will see what happens now. I am praying. Thank You For Your Prayers and Please continue Praying!!

[Stryder1030]

"Be very careful in asking for a "Wreath of Thorns" as the Lord may do so for your own sins."

What is the use in helping others if we ourselves can not admit our own sins and ask that God help us to overcome them?  Even if it is as harsh as this?  If you're not willing to ask for your own wreath, then you should not be willing to ask for another to have one.

[Soldier4Christ]

Again I say it is better to ask that the Lord open their eyes to what they are doing to themselves and to their loved ones and to have mercy on them in helping them to overcome their temptations. It is better to ask for positive results rather than to ask for ill-will to befall a person. Yes, we must pray for forgiveness of our own sins and His power to overcome them but we should not do so in a manner that asks for such a thing as a wreath of thorns.

Praying for a wreath of thorns is to pray for them to be tormented as Jesus Christ was when we should be praying that people (us included) should be protected from tempatations and sin and given power through Him to overcome them.

[airIam2worship]

Hello Lisa, I don't believe that I have had a chance to welcome you to the forum yet. So I want to take that opportunity now. I pray you will find support and help here and that you will continue to visit us often.

Lisa pornography is a very evil stronghold, it is an addiction it is evil and it comes straight from satan himself.

First of all Lisa please do not blame yourself for your husband's behavior. Next do not allow his behavior to come between you and God, remember all your strength for you, your health, spirituality, well being and even for helping your husband is dependent on God and only on God.

Stand strong and pray for your husband to be able to break this addiction. You have every right as a wife and as a saint to stand in the gap in prayer for your husband, your marriage, and faithfulness from your husband.

Pornography is all over the place, men and even women are addicted to it and especially those that are married know how wrong it is, they are just as frustrated as you feel when you think about what your husband is doing. They also feel a tremendous amount of guilt even though they manage to talk themselves into believing that "it's not that bad"..... they are sadly mistaken.

I suggest that you speak to your husband about how you feel, pour out your feelings let him know how you feel about everything, don't leave anything out, let him know how God views it, and then just pray. He might make a lot of excuses to justify himself, he might tell you it has nothing to do with you, he might say it's nothing but pictures, etc etc he is in denial......just as any other addict whether it be gambling, drinking, drugs or any other addiction....

You must first realize that you cannot change your husband, only God can do that.
You probably also need to refer to someone who you will be able to talk to face to face who can pray with and for you, and that person might be your Pastor or Minister at your church. Do not stay angry at your husband..it may be hard but.. ask God to help you to be able to forgive him and help him. Do not hide bitterness, and do not look at yourself as any less of the beautiful woman you are.

There is a book that was written especially for women. the title of this book is The Power of A Praying Wife, by Stormie O'Martian. This book contains many treasures that will not only help you, but will teach you how to pray for all things that involve your husband, and your marriage as well.

In the meantime I am praying for you Lisa and for your husband, and don't give up with God all things are possible.

Love in Christ,
Maria

[Maryjane]

To pray for one who is bound in addiction is to pray God's will for the person and God's will is for the person to be saved..to have rightstanding with the Father throught Jesus Christ...to pray curses will only prolong the will of God for that person and not to mention the very curse you pray on a spouse is also on you as you are one...The word tells us to pray without ceasing...we are to trust the Lord with what we give to Him in prayer...