RECALL NOTICE
The Maker of all human beings
is recalling all units
manufactured,
regardless of make or year,
due to a serious defect
in the primary and central
component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction
in the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction
of the same defect
in all subsequent units.
This defect has been
technically termed
"Subsequential Internal
Non-Morality,"
or more commonly
known as
S.I.N.,
as it is primarily
expressed.
Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
in the mental Component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer,
who is neither liable nor at fault
for this defect, is providing
factory-authorized repair
and service free of charge
to correct this SIN defect.
The Repair Technician,
Jesus,
has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden
of the staggering cost
of these repairs.
There is no
additional fee
required.
The number to call
for repair in all areas is:
1-800- P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected,
please upload
your burden of SIN
through the
REPENTANCE
procedure.
Next, download
ATONEMENT
from the Repair
Technician, Jesus,
into the heart component.
No matter how big
or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see
the operating manual,
the B.I.B.L.E.
(Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
for further details
on the use of these fixes.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate
the human being unit
without correction voids
any manufacturer warranties,
exposing the unit to dangers
and problems too numerous to list
and will result in
the human unit being
permanently impounded.
DANGER:
The human being units
not responding to this recall action
will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect
will not be permitted
to enter Heaven
so as to prevent
contamination
of that facility.
Thank you
for your attention!
GOD
Please assist where possible
by notifying others
of this important
recall notice,
and you may contact
the Father any time by
"kneemail"
