Laughter - Good Medicine

[HisDaughter]

The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer
with a bodily injury claim.

Attorney: At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never
felt better in your life?

Farmer: That's right.

Attorney: Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously
injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?

Farmer: When the constable arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken
leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up,
and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the
circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my
life.

[nChrist]

        - Some might think that was a groaner, but I loved it.

[airIam2worship]

SMILE!

Be sure to have volume on before clicking on the link.

http://www.imtiredonline.com/smile/

I finally got the plug in I needed and got to see the page, that was so cute.

[nChrist]

Love Campaign

The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times.

He began what can only be called "Campaigning" and sent her a small token of his affection every day for a month to her house.

Soon, the young lady fell in love with the UPS man.

(No, Not a GROANER!)   

[nChrist]

Golf Quitter

Two men were chatting casually at work over the water cooler. The conversation turned to golf and one asked the other, "Do you play?"

"Yes, the younger man replied, "I used to, but I quit because I wasn't very good. I consistently shot in the lower seventies."

There was a long, low intake of breath, then the other man said, "Lower seventies, huh?"

"Yes," his coworker said.

"Consistently?"

"Yup, Every hole," the younger man said with a sigh.

(Read It Again - It is FUNNY!)   

[Shammu]

Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA"

I bought me a case of beer, and drank it OBAMA self!!

[David_james]

Golf Quitter

Two men were chatting casually at work over the water cooler. The conversation turned to golf and one asked the other, "Do you play?"

"Yes, the younger man replied, "I used to, but I quit because I wasn't very good. I consistently shot in the lower seventies."

There was a long, low intake of breath, then the other man said, "Lower seventies, huh?"

"Yes," his coworker said.

"Consistently?"

"Yup, Every hole," the younger man said with a sigh.

(Read It Again - It is FUNNY!)   

I don't understand the joke

[Soldier4Christ]

I don't understand the joke

"Yup, Every hole," the younger man said with a sigh.

A 70 for a golf game is excellent but a 70 for every hole ...


 

[HisDaughter]

The Lawyer's Dog
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast from the counter.

The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog is running unleashed and steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"

"Absolutely."

"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50 (attorneys don't carry cash).

Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer:

An invoice : Consultation........... $20.
 

[HisDaughter]

    "Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA"

I bought me a case of beer, and drank it OBAMA self!! "

[Shammu]

    "Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA"

I bought me a case of beer, and drank it OBAMA self!! "

Well I'm glad you liked it, should I try another??

[HisDaughter]

Well I'm glad you liked it, should I try another??

Oh here....let me!


LETTER FROM THE BOSS:
 
 
 As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that
 Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees
 will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our
 prices would have to increase by about 10%.
 
 But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal
 state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees
 instead.
 
 This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here
 and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
 
 So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found
 sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided
 these
 folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to
 approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.
 
 I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

[nChrist]

Oh here....let me!


LETTER FROM THE BOSS:
 
 
 As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that
 Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees
 will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our
 prices would have to increase by about 10%.
 
 But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal
 state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees
 instead.
 
 This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here
 and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
 
 So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found
 sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided
 these
 folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to
 approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.
 
 I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

YES, this is the only fair way to handle something like this. I'm now wondering how long it's going to take for people to WAKE UP and realize what the OBAMA MOB is doing. They'd better wake up soon or there won't be much left of this once great country!

[HisDaughter]

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied.  'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
 
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'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
 
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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
 
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

[nChrist]

            GOOD ONES! - I'll wait on my groaners.