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nChrist
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« Reply #1935 on: August 06, 2008, 11:05:31 PM » |
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Boat Rental
A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha been more than $20."
"That might be true," said the travel agent, "but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord Himself walked."
"Well, at $50 an hour for a boat," said the Scotsman, "it's no wonder He walked."
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1936 on: August 06, 2008, 11:40:09 PM » |
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I was just thinking if Senator Obama doesn't get elected as President, he could loan his name to the door-bell industry.
The product would (or could) be named----
"Obama-lama Ding Dong."
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nChrist
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« Reply #1937 on: August 07, 2008, 12:01:39 AM » |
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1938 on: August 07, 2008, 12:28:58 AM » |
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We got a guy named Obama-lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
he's a criminal to me
Obama-Lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
I'll never set him free
Oh oh oh oh
We got a guy named Obama-Lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
he's not fine to me.
Just think how well Obama-Lama Ding Dong could get along with Aramalamadingdong, (president of Iran).
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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Shammu
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« Reply #1939 on: August 07, 2008, 12:47:26 AM » |
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We got a guy named Obama-lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
he's a criminal to me
Obama-Lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
I'll never set him free
Oh oh oh oh
We got a guy named Obama-Lama, Obama-Lama Ding dong
he's not fine to me.
Just think how well Obama-Lama Ding Dong could get along with Aramalamadingdong, (president of Iran).
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1940 on: August 07, 2008, 01:25:40 AM » |
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I'm with DW! Sounds perfect!! |
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1941 on: August 07, 2008, 10:12:21 AM » |
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THE DUMBEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES EVER:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
10 Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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Shammu
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« Reply #1942 on: August 07, 2008, 03:43:20 PM » |
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THE DUMBEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES EVER:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
10 Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Well duh, sounds like Baghdad Bob, made the headlines again............................  |
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nChrist
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« Reply #1943 on: August 07, 2008, 04:54:52 PM » |
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Well duh, sounds like Baghdad Bob, made the headlines again............................  ROFL Baghdad Bob was hilarious, but we at least have to give him an "A" for effort. |
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1944 on: August 07, 2008, 06:11:41 PM » |
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Well duh, sounds like Baghdad Bob, made the headlines again............................  Grammyluv just now! |
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nChrist
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« Reply #1945 on: August 07, 2008, 11:53:45 PM » |
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Market Conditions
The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."
"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."
"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1946 on: August 08, 2008, 12:48:20 AM » |
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Market Conditions
The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."
"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."
"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
Hardy Har Har! |
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1947 on: August 08, 2008, 01:49:11 PM » |
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Are Computers Masculine or Feminine?
A French Teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. E.g. ‘house’ is feminine – ‘la maison’, ‘Pencil’ is masculine – ‘le crayon’. A student asked, ‘what gender is ‘computer’? Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into 2 groups –male and female and asked them to decide for themselves whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for the recommendations.
The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for immediate later retrieval. And...
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem, And...
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1948 on: August 08, 2008, 03:06:53 PM » |
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Are Computers Masculine or Feminine?
The women won.
Must have been a female teacher. From the sound of it, everyone lost. |
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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HisDaughter
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« Reply #1949 on: August 08, 2008, 06:35:34 PM » |
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Must have been a female teacher. From the sound of it, everyone lost. I thought the reasons that each side gave were pretty even myself! |
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