Reader's Digest July 2008
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.
"No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games, but ever since she passed away, I've gone alone."
"Why don't you invite a friend?"
"I can't. They're all at the funeral."
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I was admiring a picture on my client's wall when she came up from behind and mentioned, "That's my mother and her dog."
"She's very attractive", I said.
"She was more like a frined, really. I miss her."
"She's no longer alive?" I asked.
"No. But my mother is."
When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?
The third grader opined, "Because she's read all our books?"
Proof reading an instruction manual for a hospital ventilator, I did a double take when I came across this questionable troubleshooting tip: "If the problem persists, replace patient immediately."
I was looking through my closet for something to wear, but nothing was calling out to me. So I sought my three-year-old son't opinion.
"What do you think I should change into?" I asked.
He thought awhile before replying, "A butterfly."
During a game of Trivial Pursuit, our teams' question was "In Roman mythology, who was the chief goddess and wife of Jupiter?"
"Juno?" I wondered aloud.
My grandmother shook her head. "No," she said. "I haven't got a clue."
