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nChrist
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« Reply #1500 on: September 07, 2007, 09:04:05 PM » |
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GEE Tom ,the first thing that came to my mind, was a removable mounthing for false teeth,  mayby Curley is around love in Jesus Def Hello Sister Def, I got these in email and think they are things that actually happened. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, and I did get a good laugh out of these. I was just thinking that I don't remember the Three Stooges ever stealing anything. I think that the worst trouble they could get into might be for assault and battery with a pie.  |
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islandboy
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« Reply #1501 on: September 21, 2007, 08:53:53 PM » |
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Ed is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife is really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.!!" The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. His wife woke up and looked out the window, and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.  |
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Be not weary in your serving; Do your best for those in need; Kindness will be rewarded by the Lord who prompts the deed.
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Soldier4Christ
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« Reply #1502 on: September 21, 2007, 09:06:58 PM » |
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Joh 9:4 I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
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Shammu
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« Reply #1503 on: September 21, 2007, 10:59:02 PM » |
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nChrist
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« Reply #1504 on: September 21, 2007, 11:10:36 PM » |
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Ed might be hiding for a long time. |
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ibTina
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« Reply #1505 on: September 22, 2007, 09:32:31 AM » |
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Ed is in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife is really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.!!" The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. His wife woke up and looked out the window, and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him. Here is Ed......  |
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Def
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« Reply #1506 on: September 22, 2007, 04:55:16 PM » |
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But to us There Is But one God, the Father, of whom Are all things, and we in Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ by whom Are all things and we by Him(1Cor 8:6 KJV)
I believe that Jesus died for my sins was buried rose again and is sitting at the right hand of God Almighty interceding for me Amen
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Shammu
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« Reply #1507 on: September 25, 2007, 11:11:09 PM » |
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A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform, I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you?" "Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot, So.......... He sent me." |
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Def
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« Reply #1509 on: September 26, 2007, 03:55:20 PM » |
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A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform, I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you?" "Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot, So.......... He sent me." HOURA |
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But to us There Is But one God, the Father, of whom Are all things, and we in Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ by whom Are all things and we by Him(1Cor 8:6 KJV)
I believe that Jesus died for my sins was buried rose again and is sitting at the right hand of God Almighty interceding for me Amen
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Def
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« Reply #1510 on: September 26, 2007, 04:07:19 PM » |
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Hurrah!! "french you know.. hope its right,DreamWeaver maybe the last expression was not right don't want to vex no one, ill wind up on the floor again .."Well, It a good place to look up to God..love in Jesus Def(+¸+)
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But to us There Is But one God, the Father, of whom Are all things, and we in Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ by whom Are all things and we by Him(1Cor 8:6 KJV)
I believe that Jesus died for my sins was buried rose again and is sitting at the right hand of God Almighty interceding for me Amen
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Shammu
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« Reply #1511 on: September 26, 2007, 04:19:56 PM » |
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Well, It a good place to look up to God..love in Jesus Def(+¸+)
AMEN Def, AMEN!! |
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islandboy
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« Reply #1512 on: September 28, 2007, 09:18:38 PM » |
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Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf." The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf." Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My what big teeth you have Mr Wolf." With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to relieve myself here!!!!"  |
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« Last Edit: September 28, 2007, 10:51:28 PM by blackeyedpeas »
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Be not weary in your serving; Do your best for those in need; Kindness will be rewarded by the Lord who prompts the deed.
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nChrist
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« Reply #1513 on: September 28, 2007, 10:53:50 PM » |
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ROFL! I had to replace a word for you to get the punchline to show. I hope you don't mind.
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islandboy
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« Reply #1514 on: September 29, 2007, 09:40:51 AM » |
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Thank you. After I posted the joke I had second thoughts about that word. I approve whole-heartedly.
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Be not weary in your serving; Do your best for those in need; Kindness will be rewarded by the Lord who prompts the deed.
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