Laughter - Good Medicine

[Shammu]

A Quick Check for Alzheimer's

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8 This is person cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.

[Shammu]

Lets see how much trouble I can get into with the women on the forum.  This is a joke told to me by my wife.

WORDS WOMEN USE

1.FINE- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES -If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't get mad about this, it is the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help around the house.

3. NOTHING- this is the calm before the storm.  This means something and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with NOTHING, usually end in FINE.  (see #1)

4. GO AHEAD- This is a dare - Don't do it !!

5 LOUD SIGH-This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement, often understood by men.

6. THAT'S OKAY- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS- A woman is thanking you.  Sodo  not question it or faint, just say "you are welcome."

8.WHATEVER- It is a womans way of saying "%@#& you."

9.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT I'VE GOT IT- Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but now is doing herself.  This will later result in a man asking  "What's wrong?"  (for a woman's response refer to #3)

[nChrist]

ROFL!         Thanks, I needed those laughs.

I got a big kick out of how to understand words that women use. I do promise to keep these a secret and not tell my wife. However, I do plan to use them in interpreting what she tells me from time to time.   

[nChrist]

"Drink is the curse of the land.
It makes you fight with your neighbour.
It makes you shoot at your landlord
and it makes you miss him."

Irish Proverb

[Def]

HA     HA   HA
     HA

         HA                 HAHA
     HA   HA
                     HA........(";")

                          HA

[Def]

HA      HA   HA
     HA

         HA                 HAHA
     HA   HA
                     HA. .......(";")

                          HA

[Def]

Lets see how much trouble I can get into with the women on the forum.  This is a joke told to me by my wife.

WORDS WOMEN USE

1.FINE- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES -If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't get mad about this, it is the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help around the house.

3. NOTHING- this is the calm before the storm.  This means something and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with NOTHING, usually end in FINE.  (see #1)

4. GO AHEAD- This is a dare - Don't do it !!

5 LOUD SIGH-This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement, often understood by men.

6. THAT'S OKAY- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS- A woman is thanking you.  Sodo  not question it or faint, just say "you are welcome."

8.WHATEVER- It is a womans way of saying "%@#& you."

9.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT I'VE GOT IT- Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but now is doing herself.  This will later result in a man asking  "What's wrong?"  (for a woman's response refer to #3)

#1 #3 #9 and do not forget#6

[Def]

A Quick Check for Alzheimer's

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8 This is person cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.

 
    DreamWeaver  i needed that in Jesus I love you.Def

[Def]

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

A small child walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, this child made the daily trek to the elementary school.

As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother was worried that her child would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might harm her child.

Following the roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. Soon she saw her small child walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up at the sky and smile.

One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called and asked, "What are you doing!"

Her child answered, " I'm smiling for God, He keeps taking pictures of me."

Cool

[airIam2worship]

Lets see how much trouble I can get into with the women on the forum.  This is a joke told to me by my wife.

WORDS WOMEN USE

1.FINE- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES -If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't get mad about this, it is the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help around the house.

3. NOTHING- this is the calm before the storm.  This means something and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with NOTHING, usually end in FINE.  (see #1)

4. GO AHEAD- This is a dare - Don't do it !!

5 LOUD SIGH-This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement, often understood by men.

6. THAT'S OKAY- This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS- A woman is thanking you.  Sodo  not question it or faint, just say "you are welcome."

8.WHATEVER- It is a womans way of saying "%@#& you."

9.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT I'VE GOT IT- Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but now is doing herself.  This will later result in a man asking  "What's wrong?"  (for a woman's response refer to #3)

FOR HUSBANDS

Read number three again if she says Nothing, just give God the praise and glory and go to bed QUICKLY

WARNING: don't says  "something must be wrong" that's asking for TROUBLE.

[nChrist]

Getting Kicked out of WalMart
 
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs.Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women - she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.     

Dear Mrs. Fenton:     

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.     

1. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.     

2. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."     

3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.     

4. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
     
5. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.     

6. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"     

7. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.     

8. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.     

9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.     

10. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"     

11. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"     

And last, but not least.
     
12. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"     

Regards,   WalMart

[Soldier4Christ]

lol ...  I know that guy.   

[nChrist]

(By Email)   

A German court has awarded 3,000 euros ($4,100) in damages to a man who had to have the top of his skull replaced with plastic because of a faulty hospital fridge.

Doctors removed the top of the man’s head and put it in cold storage while they operated on his brain.

Because the refrigerator was defective, the section of skull was not kept cool enough and could not be reattached. Doctors replaced the bone with a plastic prosthesis.

The man sought compensation of at least 20,000 euros on the grounds that the prosthesis caused him headaches.

The court found that the operation had caused the man’s discomfort, not the loss of the top of his skull.

Compensation of 3,000 euros was “appropriate and sufficient".

[nChrist]

Man arrested for stealing bridge

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian police have detained a 45-year-old municipal worker for stealing a bridge.

The 5-meter span metal bridge disappeared from a river crossing in the Ryazan region, east of Moscow. Police said they tracked it down to the man, who had used his work truck to remove it and then chopped it up and sold it for scrap.

In a statement, Ryazan region police called it "the bulkiest theft of the year."

 

[Def]

Man arrested for stealing bridge

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian police have detained a 45-year-old municipal worker for stealing a bridge.

The 5-meter span metal bridge disappeared from a river crossing in the Ryazan region, east of Moscow. Police said they tracked it down to the man, who had used his work truck to remove it and then chopped it up and sold it for scrap.

In a statement, Ryazan region police called it "the bulkiest theft of the year."

 

GEE Tom ,the first thing  that came to my mind, was  a removable mounthing for false teeth,   mayby Curley is around  
love in Jesus  Def