Marriage... love or life sentence??

[Coyote]

About a 2 years ago life was hum drum. My marriage was stagnant and tensions were high. My job had been putting a strain on our marriage. Inlaws and extended familiy were constantly bickering... I was feeling trapped. Where had the spark gone, where were our intrests? I slipped into temptation. I almost lost everything I treasured to a simple act of temptation. Why am I any diffrent than you? I am not. At that time I was so focused on paying bills that I worked up to 4 part time jobs along with my normal Military job. I never was home except to eat, sleep and change clothes. Rarely saw my children or my wife, and I stopped listening to GOD. Now it wasn't just a sudden deafness to his word, it was a gradual decline that had left me hollow and bitter. I replaced his void with work and booze.

Then the unthinkable happened. My Father in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer. I rushed to scrape up money for my wife and kids to go be by his side in case he took a turn for the worse. This was 2 weeks before Christmas. I stayed at home, to continue working and paying our debt off. I was now completely vulnerable to temptation. I began drinking heavily and going to bars. I was looking to fill the void left when my familiy was gone.

New years eve, the temptation hit me. I was powerless to stop it. Clouded by booze and lust I succumbed. I had an affair. Now I know the booze isn't an excuse for my actions, but it sure didn't help me stop anything. I was weak in spirit, and weak in flesh. The next morning I was apalled at what I had done. I had sworn not to ever do that to myself or my wife. What was I going to do?

A few weeks later my familiy came home. The operations to remove the cancer had been promising and he was now at his own house recouperating (he is still clear after 2 years). Did I confess my sins to my best friend in the world? No, I couldn't do it, I cowered. I just played it cool.

Flash foward a year. The secret got out of the bag. My life was in my mind over. I would never see my kids again. I had just lost my best friend. I was in a world of confusion, dispair, and remorse. Did I return to the bottle? NO I turned to Christ.
In a move that years earlier would have made me queasy to say the least, I fell on my knees and begged for mercy from my Saviour and then from my wife.

Christ made me face the music, he wants me to be a man after his own heart. Yes I am a sinner. I am not a saint, but I am now a reborn Christian. I have sworn off the booze, I am again faithful to my wife, and I cherish everymoment I can with my children. My life is no longer gloomy, instead it is full of wonder and excitement. I am a humble servant of GOD.

Ok now if you are still reading this you may be wondering this thread is for prayer not testimony. You're right, but there was prayers but they wern't mine. Unknown to me there were a group of my Christian friends including my wife that prayed for my rebirth for years. I had been given plenty of oppertunities to turn it around, but I was stubborn. Finally the ultimatum came out. "Trust me and come home, or figure it all out on your own."

I trusted Him. My wife and I are renewing our vows this saturday. 10 yrs together and three wonderful children and 2 cats and a dog, and with Jesus in our marriage only death can keep us apart.

Prayer is a powerful tool, I use it all my waking hours. Prayer brought me to this forum, and prayer gave me the strength to write this lonnggggg topic. Trust in Jesus, let him into your marriage, and let him in your heart.

God bless you all,

Jim aka Coyote

[rafter]

Nice Post coyote. It was well worth the read. You will probably have an opportunity to use what you learned through this. Hopefully so someone else can by-pass this temptation.....

I am so amazed and glad God is faithfull, merciful, and full of grace. Where some would have wrote you off as junk He looked at you as something to be restored.

I am so glad you listened........ Praise God.........

[rafter]

In answer to this question-----  Marriage... love or life sentence??    I would say it is a Life sentence of Love!

 

[Brother Love]

In answer to this question-----  Marriage... love or life sentence??    I would say it is a Life sentence of Love!

 

I agree with that

Brother Love

[sincereheart]

Jim, That was beautiful!  
Thanks so much for sharing!

[Symphony]

(In answer to the topic question:  Person, to spouse, "Honey, have we been married for thirty years, or does it just SEEM like thirty years?.... )


Thank you, Coyote/Jim.  That's a beautiful testimony to Jesus.  Thanks.

[Whitehorse]

Jim, that is a wonderful testimony. Congratulations on receiving the Lord, and many blessings in your marriage as well.

[KiwiChristian]

You're right Jim - that's an awesome testimony of your marriage that you shared.  God has been in my marriage too and there have been quite a few times when we could have been divorced but thanks to the Lord we're not.  I think that marriage only becomes a "life sentence" if we don't have God involved in it with us.  He is the only one who can help us.

[LMarsh]

Amen Kiwi! And thanks for sharing your testimony Coyote.
Thank you Jesus and Thank you Father!
You truly are an awesome God.  We are blessed to have his living word in our lives every day!  
Thank you for TODAY!!

Your sister in Christ,
LMarsh

[Brother Love]

Amen Kiwi! And thanks for sharing your testimony Coyote.
Thank you Jesus and Thank you Father!
You truly are an awesome God.  We are blessed to have his living word in our lives every day!  
Thank you for TODAY!!

Your sister in Christ,
LMarsh

We are blessed to have his living word in our lives every day!  
 
Amen Sis

Brother Love

[Coyote]

well here is an update since I wrote out my testimony. We renewed our vows on the 20th of September. We have grown tremendously in our relationship. Christ has done wonders in healing our wounds. We both seem to be learning from one another again, the respect we have for each other is steadfast. Our children are blossoming. All thanks to the love only Christ can give. I have developed an unquenchable thirst for the bible. We pray together all the time. All I can say is PRAISE GOD!!!

This is an amazing journey that I never want to end. May the blessings flow to all of you that read and post to this long string. Because of the support I have recieved here and in my community it has enabled me to lift my head up and testify and profess my love for Christ.

Jim aka Coyote

[Willowbirch]

Wonderful, Coyote!