Used to be, now not sure

[godspeed]

Ok, well first off i don't know if this is in the right form or what, if not sorry, ok, here is my story, i have been a christian since i was in the 3rd grade, 9yrs old, now i am 24, maybe i shouldn't say since, b/c now im not sure, i have a long history in the church, my parents are not even christian, i became one on my own, i have been on over 5 missions trips lasting from 1week to 2 months to Thailand, Vietnam, Mexico, Malaysia, starting from the age of 13, and i did a year internship w/ a missions org. but now i don't really like a lot of Christians, or the church, in fact i can't stand the church, at least in America, to me the American church is a fat guy at a private buffet and a thousand of hungry people outside not even knowing there is food in the next room, i get so mad when i think about the church, but thats a different story, it comes from my missions background, and if your a pastor i hope you think about that, in my mind the pastors gotcha8 me off the most, or the church board, selfishness is so rapid...anyways i need to stop there w/ that, so my question is does anyone ever think that we have this whole thing so jacked up, i mean when you go to a different country and just look around you see millions of people that have no clue of this Jesus thing, i don't know if you have ever been to another country, but you go to one and just stand there and think to yourself, all these people are going to hell, and they have no clue, what is up w/ that, how can god do that? even if it is true, it makes me not want to be apart of it, i hate it, i just spent 6 months in a different country and it messed me up thinking about it, i don't want it to be true, i don't know if anyone can reply to this, but it just makes me feel better saying it, oh and don't give me an common answer please, i can give myself that, man i bet you can tell that i am a little bitter towards Christians, so sorry for that

[linuxgeek]

May the peace and the love of our Lord Jesus Christ fill your heart completely, then you will know.  A general answer for a general rant.  Those who want to know listen, those who do not can't hear.

LinuxGeek

[Tibby]

Be still, and know… if you are bitter about this, then MAYBE, just MAYBE, your not as enlightened as you think! All this time on mission trips, all this knowledge, and you use it for what? Anger? Rage? Frustration? Come on, bro. Don’t let it got you down. It is a shame they way Americans are so rich, it bad the way we squander the gifts of god. But clearly not all of the America’s are like that, you seem to have no trouble going over there? Speaking of what is your work/cash ratio? How much help did you give to the people of Thailand as oppose to how much you spent to getter there?

[Royo]

Welcome Godspeed.
As I have sad to so many I have met who have a similar bitterness; do not judge the truth of God by the failings of man. Man, and the religions he has created, have messed up a lot in church history. God is the same today, tomorrow, and forever. It is man, and his many different lusts, that has caused many to see Christianity the way they see it.
You began with a desire to serve God; I pray you do not let your disgust of the things of man sour your love of God. See the difference, and let your love of God renew your spirit.

Your brother in Christ. Roy.

[godspeed]

Tibby- how much did i give, and what is my cash to work ratio, well currently i am a student, and i work to pay for my own college, i actually gave a lot both in going over there, and while i was there, i don't need to tell you how much i gave or how much i gave up, just say i am still paying for it after 4 yrs, and no matter what i believe, Jesus or no Jesus, i will always help the children of Asia, and where ever else i can, i spent a month on the streets of Vietnam working with kids that had nothing, giving both money and love, and i would not take any of that back, i can't wait till the day i can help more, i hope i didn't come off as seeming like i know it all, its just after spending so much time with these kids, and when they never except Jesus and so now i am espoused to believe that they will go to hell, actually when i was in Vietnam i could not tell them about god, i could only answer there questions, but you love on a ten year old kid, and then look into his crying eyes when you have to leave, and then while you are going home the only thing you can think about is this kid is probably going to go to hell, thats hard. I would rather go to hell and let him go to heaven in my place, i don't want to believe this, i want it not to be true, oh, and my i say that at the time i went on this trip i was only 17, and i could only spend 2months total in Asia b/c of school, i spent the first month in Thailand.

I just wonder if anyone else has gone through this before, or is?

linuxgeek - not to be mean, but that really does nothing for me

Royo - i don't understand how it is because of men, i mean men are b/c of god, its not like god didn't know what was going to happen when he put the tree in the garden, its like putting a baby next to a pool and telling him not to swim or touch the water, that would make you a bad parent, so its just like god putting a fruit in front of or face and saying don't eat it, why is it there in the first place? but also, your reply seems to be the most caring and i thank you for that!

Tibby- one more thing, i don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore therefore i am not held to the standards of the bible like you are.

one othere thing, when you go to a poor place like vietnam, and then you come back to your home church and find out that they want to buy more land, when they alredy have to much, or they buy a new sound system when the old one is still good, or new carpet when the old is good, stuff like this, and then you know that there are people going hungry, and have no christian resorses this makes you so mad, i also know that not all churches are like that, but most are, the ones that get by with what they have, i respect them, they give me hope

[IrishAngel]

God bless you for sharing His message Roy.

Hello godspeed, your letter really touched my heart. I think it is so easy in this world to become disillusioned and swayed by what we see around us, especially in the realm of 'christianity'.  I have observed what you see, and remain much disturbed over a gospel message that tells of a sacrifice that was made for us, a plan of salvation, and the imminent return of our Saviour, yet the actions of the 'church' dont match the message.  Perhaps on a smaller scale I have been as guilty of this as the churches.  
That being said,   I think Jesus Himself voiced this same message (perhaps with tears in His eyes, as He see`s what you`ve seen) in these words:
Matthew 9:37 "Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly plenteous, but the labourers [are] few;"  
Matthew 9:38 "Pray yetherefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest."
I believe this is the key, that once we begin to see the need ourselves, to pray that God will open others eyes to see, that together we can do all we can to fullfill His plan for all those that are lost, and without hope. True christianity will cause us  to strive to help  the poor and the needy and help our fellowman in whatever way we can, and yes to sacrifice,and to fail to do this is to have served ourselves and not God.  
It is easy to see you have been used by God, and so  blessed godspeed, and now you`ve been entrusted with a personal visionary message that can change even more lives, continue to allow His love and spirit to fill you and use you however He wills.
Love and prayers.

[Jabez]

Be careful makeing this statement..

"one more thing, i don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore therefore i am not held to the standards of the bible like you are."

So are you saying you know him, but you reject him now?

[linuxgeek]

linuxgeek - not to be mean, but that really does nothing for me

I have been in a near similar situation which is why I posted EXACTLY what I did.

Hope you can hear.

LinuxGeek

[Tibby]

I strongly believe that Missionary spend to much time feeding people the gospel, not enough feeding there guts. It is kind of hard to believe there is a god in heaven that loves you when you are slowly being cannibalized from the inside out. Preach them the gospel, sure, but FEED them! Hey, in truth, I’d rather give them the monetary support they need, then spends thousands of dollars for an over priced, Guilt-free vacation!!!!!!!

Honestly, how much money did you spend to go over there? What, 1000-3000 dollars for food, plane ticket, gear to bring, etc. Wouldn’t it be more productive to  send all of the money over to a Humanitarian worker? There are many non-Christian Humanitarian worker, who are they just to help the people, not the money.

If you really feel so strongly about it, stop whining about the American lifestyle you so freely suck up! Buy your self a one way ticket to Cambodia, load your backpack up with clothing, and spend you rest of your life helping these people! Don’t waste time whining about it as you sit in an air-conditioned building behind a computer, filling you gut with the trash we American’s eat! Please, stop biting the hand that feeds you, if you are going to continue to be a drain in Society like the rest of Americans. Get your fat, lazy butt off the computer, cancel your internet, save money up, and go LIVE in Asia! Be happy your blessed to be in a country where you are allowed to rant about it, and on a full stomach, too! People like you make me sick. Your happy to rant about these things, but when you get right down to it, the aid you have provided them doesn’t make a lick of difference. There are only 2 ways to help, either send a boat load of cash to the Humanitarian workers over there, or become a Humanitarian worker your self. Week worth of passing out tracks doing sloppy construction work isn’t going to help anyone! Oh wait, your not a Christian any more! I forgot. Maybe you didn’t notice, but this is CHRISTIANS UNITE! Stop wasting your time annoying Christians, get out there and at leas pretend like your care!

[IrishAngel]

Tibby you are way out of line. To quote you, "Maybe you didn’t notice, but this is CHRISTIANS UNITE!" Perhaps you could set a example and start acting like a christian youself?

[Tibby]

How do Christians act? Do Christians stand up for what they believe? Hey, guess what, I don’t see what is out of line with what I said. Harsh, yes, but out of line, I just don’t see how it was out of line.

[Heidi]

Godspeed,
It sounds like you have had INCREDIBLE experiences in the real world that most of us don't have a clue about. You have actually seen the myriad of poor, lonely starving people that comprise the majority of the world. This large does of reality is overwhelming even to the most spiritual of people. You have done  A LOT in your short 24 years years for which I applaud you. You sound understandably exhausted and helpless and justifiably angry at the human condition. It is not a pretty sight. I also hear that you are angry at God which I completely understand. If i had those experiences, i know i would be angry at Him. You need to throw it at His feet and admit it. Even though He may be absent to you right now, i can assure you that He is there and will comfort you. There are so many atrocities and so much greed that we sinners are capable of perpetrating on our fellow man. That's why our ONLY hope is Jesus. God may have allowed you to go out there to realize how much we all need Him. But right now you're understandable angry at Him and you need to vent. But if you give your anger to Him, He is the only one who will give you answers. God bless you.

[Searcher]

I think there is way too many people saying their are Christian and far too few stepping back and reading what they type before they post it.

I hope that if you call yourself a Christian you are asking for his advice before you represent him.

Godspeed, I found you to be condescending and judgemental.

Perhaps you should pray to God and ask if your spirit is right and if you did all you could do before you judged anyone else.

Only God knows his plan for anyone.  You don't.

Only God knows what is in anyones heart. You don't, especially about millions of people.

AND YOU WILL NEVER BE THE ONE THAT IS JUDGING WHO WILL GO TO HEAVEN AND WHO WILL NOT. HOW ARROGANT IS THAT!

[Whitehorse]

Ok, well first off i don't know if this is in the right form or what, if not sorry, ok, here is my story, i have been a christian since i was in the 3rd grade, 9yrs old, now i am 24, maybe i shouldn't say since, b/c now im not sure, i have a long history in the church, my parents are not even christian, i became one on my own, i have been on over 5 missions trips lasting from 1week to 2 months to Thailand, Vietnam, Mexico, Malaysia, starting from the age of 13, and i did a year internship w/ a missions org. but now i don't really like a lot of Christians, or the church, in fact i can't stand the church, at least in America, to me the American church is a fat guy at a private buffet and a thousand of hungry people outside not even knowing there is food in the next room, i get so mad when i think about the church, but thats a different story, it comes from my missions background, and if your a pastor i hope you think about that, in my mind the pastors gotcha8 me off the most, or the church board, selfishness is so rapid...anyways i need to stop there w/ that, so my question is does anyone ever think that we have this whole thing so jacked up, i mean when you go to a different country and just look around you see millions of people that have no clue of this Jesus thing, i don't know if you have ever been to another country, but you go to one and just stand there and think to yourself, all these people are going to hell, and they have no clue, what is up w/ that, how can god do that? even if it is true, it makes me not want to be apart of it, i hate it, i just spent 6 months in a different country and it messed me up thinking about it, i don't want it to be true, i don't know if anyone can reply to this, but it just makes me feel better saying it, oh and don't give me an common answer please, i can give myself that, man i bet you can tell that i am a little bitter towards Christians, so sorry for that

Friend, I think I know what you're talking about. Let me just say that at the very least, you're in the right place. I can say this: there are lots of godly, gentle, loving people who are here to help you sort this out. I'm going to pray for you tonight, but let me leave you with something to think about until tomorrow. Could it be, just maybe, that God is the one who opened your eyes to all the things that grieve you because it hurts Him too, and He wants someone to fix the rafters on His spiritual house? Aren't the things you want to see good and godly things? Isn't it sin you're disillusioned with, the complacency of the church? Isn't it God who tells us that He wishes we were either hot or cold, but if we are lukewarm He will spit us out of His mouth? Could it be that maybe it's you God is sending to help His ailing church? But first you need to be ministered to. Be encouraged-you're in safe company here.
Blessings and peace, and I'll talk to you tomorrow, God willing.

[godspeed]

oh, tibby- dude you are awsome.... well first off i went on the missions field b/c i wantted to become a missionary at the time, i also gave more money away than i spent, and another thing i don't have the internet, i use my schools, and i will be moving to asia after i grauduat, and another thing, i don't call myself a christian, right now i don't know what i belive, so why should i make christians look bad, b/c i don't live like one

I know i sound bitter or mad, and i am, but jesus was mad when he saw how the jewish senagag was turned into a market to make money

tibby- you know what so far you have said nothing good, so i don't really care what you think at all, you sound more messed up than me, so type your reply but it just makes you look bad

LinuxGeek- you sound like you mean well, so even though i don't really get it, thanks

Searcher - ok, sure, but i am just being honest, this is the only place that i don't have to worrie about what people think to much, i mean, i don't think any of you know really who i am, but yeah, i bet i am wrong in some ways, thats cool...just tell me what you think, thanks

Whitehorse - thanks, you have said some good things

to everyone i wish i could reply but the lab is closing, so thanks to some and to others, well if you want to help then reply if you don't just make yourself look bad