What does God say about being a Doormat?

[Kris777]

   I try my best not to get angery when people use me, but at the rate that I am getting used, this is just rediculous. 

   Please tell me if I am wrong, but in the Bible I thought I read some where in the Bible that we are supposed to be that way.  Could you guys correct me in my way of thinking if I am wrong?  This is just bugging me.

[airIam2worship]

You are NOT a doormat!!!

You are a child of the King. Yes you have to bear the friuts of the Spirit,

Ga 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Ga 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

........But you don't have to be a doormat. You have to use discernment so you can see when someone sincerely, and when they are just abusing your kindness.....

Example: your friend's transmission broke now she has no way to get to school, your duty is to give her a ride, even if it puts you out of the way a little.............BUT.. now let's say that 2 months later you found out your friend had her transmission fixed 2 weeks after it broke down and it was just a lot more convienient for her to keep getting a ride from you..That's a different story, even if she was chipping in for gas, it's still taking time out of your schedule and causeing your car wear and tear.....
There is a difference Kris, you have to learn to say NO when you can't, but on the other hand you have to learn to say NO when you are being used......

[Soldier4Christ]

Amen Sister Maria. There is a time and place that we must say no to others. I like the example that Sister Maria gave. There are others also, ones that I have experienced. A family that had lost their job and had no other income. They were helped with food and bills and in locating a job. These people would then stay home without calling off work, would go to work and then give an excuse to leave work early. Naturally they lost their job and instantly was back asking for more handouts. Another job was located for them and they did the same thing.

Yes it was time to cut them off and they were.

As Christians we should help others out that are truly in need but we need not devote our life to helping those that refuse to help themselves.

[airIam2worship]

Amen PR, this brings to mind a family that lived in the same 2 family house I did. They came upstairs once and asked for sugar, they got it. A few says later they came up and asked for rice, they got it, later on they came for oil and salt they got it. Finally I went out and bought a few groceries for them hoping that it would suffice. But I soon realized that every single time I went shopping, they would wait till I got my groceries upstairs and sure enough less than an hour later, they would be knocking on my door, for tomato sauce, bathroom tissue, milk, bread, eggs, you name it.

I had to put a stop to it, and I admit I wasn't very nice the last time they came upstairs for something. Shame on me but I told them I wasn't the local supermarket and I had my own family to feed I couldn't afford to feed 2 families. They weren't in such dire need as the mom and step-dad used to go clubbing every Friday night.

Being a Christian doesn't mean you have to be used 

[Kris777]

Thank you guys so very much for your responses.  These people fit the lazy description that you guys described.  When I said what I said I was in no means trying to knock down God.  I just felt that that was what I was supposed to do because it talked about how if some one asked for something to give it to them.  Yes, these people use me to save money.  I know that.  I am a convient taxi service and bank.  Now how to get my frustrations across with out making an enemy


Your responses are greatly greatly appreciated.  Thank you so very much.  It does make me feel better.

[airIam2worship]

Glad we could be of help Kris. As for money lending let me tell you this unless you could afford to GIVE it away, don't lend it. Many times people lose friends and get into stife with family members over money.

The best thing to do if you can afford it is just give the money and don't expect it back from that person. 9 times out of 10 you won't get it back anyway. If you do have it and  you decide to GIVE it away, of course God will bless you.

[Allinall]

You must be a doormat.  You have to give them what they ask for, take them where they want to go, help them where they ask for help and more!  Ok.  So NONE of us are like that!     But I did want to add a thought...what if we were?  What if we walked the extra mile?  What kind of testimony would that be to them?  Here's the thing.  We're positive that they're just taking advantage of us.  We're positive that our only affect on them is being taken advantage of.  Well, what if we coupled the "advantage" with a heart that says "I love you and I'm helping you in more ways than with my car, not for the sake of only meeting a need, but of building you up."  Sometimes that takes a word or two that says we're willing to help but not be abused in the process WHILE we continue to help.

I'm not advocating that you suck it up and be completely mistreated.  I'm just thinking in my life, how much mistreatment would I take if it made a spiritual difference in the life of those mistreating me? Just a thought...

[nChrist]

Amen Allinall!

That is a very worthy thought. We really don't have a clue about how many ways GOD may soften a lost person's heart and make them finally receptive to hearing GOD'S WORD. I think this is another reason to pray about things in our daily lives and ask GOD to lead and direct us.

Love in Christ,
Tom

Psalms 18:30-31 NASB  As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the LORD is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God,

[doc]

The old answer to the welfare system I like is -

When a man asks you for a fish, give him a fishing pole and a fish.  Teach him how to fish for himself and expect him to do it.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-13

For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work , neither shall he eat.  For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies.  Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.  But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. NKJV

We will find that those who try to take advantage of our generosity will have the problems idleness brings.  If our guidance brings them to Christ's door, we will have served His Kingdom.  Doing good is a command here !