The Young Woman's Guide through Life to Immortality

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I knew a most accomplished woman, long since in heaven, who was called by grace out of the mirthful world, and who after her conversion felt an irresistible desire to do something for the spiritual welfare of her fellow creatures and the glory of God—but her means were more limited than her aspirations. She thoroughly understood the science of music, and her most exquisite singing had been the delight of mirthful and fashionable circles. Her taste in drawing and painting was equal to her skill in music. After her conversion to God she turned these abilities to the purpose of glorifying God, "who does instruct man to discretion," by setting some of the most admired Italian and German tunes to sacred words, and painting urScripture subjects, and selling the music and pictures in the circle of her friends, often for large sums, especially the paintings, and consecrating all, like the woman who broke her alabaster box of ointment, to the honor of the Savior whom she intensely loved. Perhaps there may range over these pages the eye of some similarly gifted woman, with a heart for Christ and his cause, but with as scanty property to serve him, as the female above alluded to; to her I would say, "Go and do likewise!"

Is there not one way in which young women, unable to do much in producing tasteful works, may be occupied in doing good for God and their fellow-creatures, without in the smallest degree violating the rule of decorum or infringing on the delicacy of female modesty—I mean visiting the chamber of sickness, or the cottage of poverty, to read to the invalid or the ignorant of their own sex, the Word of God and religious tracts? Surely it is no invasion of either the rights of man or the duties of the minister, for a pious modest female, though young, (of course I do not mean a child,) to go to the bedside of a sufferer, and pour into her ears the words, and into her heart the sacred truths, of that precious volume, which is the best balm for a wounded spirit, and the only consolation for a broken heart. Nor can it be improper for her to take her chair by the side of a poor mother who, while she is plying her needle, or watching the cradle, is ready to hear words whereby she may be saved.

What a field of usefulness, almost unoccupied, is here opened to the ambition and the energies of our pious young women who have leisure for such occupation! How many thousands of women of the laboring classes are there in every large town, who are so occupied by the cares of their families and the demands of their husbands, as never to join the public assemblies for worship, or to hear the joyful sound of the sermon, or the psalm, who would hail as a ministering angel a female coming to their scene of constant monotonous care and labor, and causing their dreary abode to echo with the music that tells of a present salvation even for them, and of a land hereafter where the "wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are forever at rest."

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Oh you "devout women, not a few," if you have hearts of pity for the poor; or compassion for the souls that are likely to be lost amid their "being anxious and troubled about many things and their much serving;" or if you have any zeal for the glory of God, do, do, employ your leisure hours in paying these visits of mercy to the houses of poverty, ignorance, sickness, and misery. Here there can be nothing in opposition to female modesty, nothing that can minister to female vanity. The seclusion of the scene prevents all this—no crude or inquisitive gaze follows a young woman there; no language of fulsome compliment or sickly adulation is addressed to her there; she is alone with sorrow, or witnessed only by her conscience and her God. Oh, what compared with a young female so occupied is the most elegant and beautiful woman glittering in the gay scene of  fashionable folly—the admiration of many eyes and the envy of more? What is all the adulation poured by the lip of flattery into the ear of beauty, compared with the blessing of her who was ready to perish, so gratefully bestowed on that sister of mercy, who had thus "caused the widow's heart to sing for joy."

Friendship affords a means of usefulness of which you ought not to be slow in availing yourself. It may be you have formed friendships in the days of your thoughtlessness with some as thoughtless as yourselves. But you have been awakened to solemn and holy reflection. You have through the work of divine grace passed from death unto life; but your friends still remain under the power of the world and far from God. Here then is a most legitimate object of pious zeal, to seek by all affectionate and judicious means their conversion to Christ. What an honor and felicity would it be, should you be the means of saving the soul of your companion! How close and tender would be your friendship from that hour, when the tie of affection was doubled and sanctified by the bond of saving faith! How happy would be your friendship, how sweet your communion! A friendship is made between you which will go with you to heaven; for all friendships formed on the basis of religion will last forever. Take with you then if you can, to that happy world, the friend of your heart, there to renew, perfect, and perpetuate the communion which you have commenced on earth, and realize the idea that the closest and happiest friendship commenced below is but the bud, and scarcely even that, which will blossom with unending freshness through eternity in heaven!

Women's talent for a flowing easy tender style of correspondence is generally acknowledged; and ought they not to employ this as a means for serving God and their fellow-creatures? How many have been thus led to an acquaintance with religion. There is a great moral power in a well-written religious letter. It is known and felt to be an effusion of love from one heart to another. It is read alone, when no one is a witness of the effect. There is not the reproving or monitory presence of the writer. There is no disposition to feel offended and to resent the intrusive advice or warning. Young women, employ your pen and let your affection in this manner breathe from your letters.

I shall now lay down some RULES for the direction of female activity, which must be very rigidly observed in order to prevent it from doing harm in one way as well as good in another.

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The zeal of young women must ever be exercised with the strictest regard to the MODESTY of youth, and especially of youthful women. It must never be forgotten that bashful modesty is the beauty of female character—like the violet, which seems to court seclusion, and indicates its retreat only by its fragrance—bashful modesty in her, adds to her attractions. Anything that would destroy this; that would strip off this delicate veil of modesty, and make her bold and obtrusive; that would thrust her by the impulsive ambition of her own mind upon the public notice, instead of being sought out for usefulness; that would make her clamorous in her complaints of neglect, and imperious in her demands for employment; would inflict an irreparable injury on society by depriving her of that passive power of gentleness by which her influence can be most effectually exerted in society.

I confess that with all my desires for female activity within its proper sphere, and the legitimate exercise of woman's zeal, the extent to which in the active spirit of the age, the female sex is employed, makes me not a little jealous for the delicate beauties and excellences of the female character. Money might flow into the treasury of our societies, and numbers might be added to their friends, spirit might be given to our operations, and the triumphs of the cause might seem to be multiplied—but if any injury were sustained by the female character, all that was otherwise achieved would be accomplished at a dreadful cost and a fearful loss.

Therefore I entreat you, my young friends, to guard against this evil. Cultivate the meekness, gentleness, and bashful modesty which are your brightest ornaments. Make it appear that in what you are doing for God and his cause, you neither seek publicity, nor aim to attract attention, nor to court applause. Avoid all that undue familiarity, flippancy, and trifling with the other sex, which would look as if your object was rather to attract notice from them, than really to do good. I ask for nothing prim, prudish, or repulsive; for no dread of converse with men, or flight from their company, as if there were moral contamination in their presence and pollution in their words. Excessive prudery is no indication of the highest toned purity; nor is an easy, artless frankness of manner, the indication of a bold and forward disposition. Still, be reserved, without pride or coldness—and frank, easy, and ingenuous, without familiarity and obtrusiveness. In this age your danger lies in the latter extreme rather than in the former. Be contented that your influence should flow through society like the blood in the human frame, carrying life and energy with it, but by channels where it is neither heard nor seen.

Female zeal in religious matters must ever be carried forward with due regard to the duties of home. If, as I have stated, home is the sphere of woman's mission, and the first and chief place of her duty, no public objects of any kind must be allowed to interfere with them. This I have already alluded to, but on account of its importance I refer to it again. It is not to the honor of religion, nor to the credit of a wife and mother, for a husband to come home at the dinner hour expecting to see everything ready and in order, and to find all in confusion, and nothing properly arranged, and have his time wasted by waiting for his wife, who has not finished her benevolent rambles, or her morning's attendance at some women's meeting. Nor is it much for his happiness on coming home in the evening, suffering from the fatigue and vexation of the world's rough business, and when needing the soothing influence of a wife's sweet voice, to have to sit hours in sadness and solitude, because she is away at some public service. This is not the way to promote wedded felicity, or to interest his mind on behalf of the objects of his wife's zeal. It will never do to serve the Lord with time taken from domestic order, comfort, and family duty! A neglected husband and family are a sad comment upon some women's religious activity—and it is a comment not infrequently expressed by those who see it in the appearance of the children and the house.

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On the opposite extreme, there are many who could do much Christian service without infringing on domestic claims, but who will do nothing—and avail themselves to justify their own selfishness and indolence.

Still a woman may look well to the ways of her household, and yet have time to devote to the cause of religion and humanity; and some do so, who by method, diligence, and efficiency, set their house in order. The description of the virtuous woman comprehends both of these—"She looks well to the ways of her household. The heart of her husband does safely trust her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Her children rise up and call her blessed. She gives food to her household, and her portion to her maidens. She eats not the bread of idleness." Here is domestic order, management, economy, in perfection. Yet with all this is associated, "She stretches out her hands to the poor yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." There the good housewife is supposed to find time for works of mercy abroad as well as of industry at home. When the comfort of a husband is never neglected, and he has no reason to complain, and does not complain, of the lack of his wife's friendship; and the supervision of the children, as to their general well-being, and their education and home-training are properly attended to; and the whole course of domestic order is maintained with regularity and precision—it is to a Christian woman's honor that her method of efficiency and order in the regulation of her household affairs is such as to leave her ample time for usefulness—without infringing on her duties as a wife, a mother, or a manager of the household. Except in the case of a large family, a lack of all Christian service is no credit to any female. She cannot be educating her family as she ought to do, if she is not, by her example as well as by her precept, training them to habits of benevolence.

The two extremes then are to be avoided by a married woman, of allowing, on the one hand, the duties of home so entirely to engross her heart, as to feel no interest in anything that is going on in the world for the alleviation of its sorrows or the reformation of its vices, and to cherish no desire to promote the great objects of Christian zeal—and, on the other hand, of allowing Christian service to occupy her attention so far as to neglect the claims of her husband, children, and servants. The chief danger in this age lies in giving too much attention to public duties, especially in the metropolis, the seat and center of all our great societies, and the place of their annual convocation. It is not much to the credit of a mother, nor for the advantage of her daughters, to be fond of taking them to many of these public gatherings. The month of May affords a strong temptation to this, and it should be most assiduously guarded against. It is not only lawful, but proper and desirable, that our wives and daughters should be present at such meetings. Who would debar them from all these assemblies, or shut them out from all these feasts of holy charity, or exclude them from all these scenes in which they take as deep an interest, and to which they have contributed equally with ourselves? Their sex is more benefited by them even than the other. Let woman's heart there bleed over the woes of humanity, and especially of her down-trodden sisters in the lands of darkness; let woman's hand be there stretched out to lift them up from their degradation, and woman's eye there sparkle with a brighter luster as it rejoices over the records of our missions, and the triumphs of Christianity. But let not this rise into such a passion as shall spoil her for partaking of interest in home duties.

In order to this, let younger women in these days of general benevolence guard against acquiring in youth that taste for public activity which, though it will not prevent them from entering into domestic life, will to a very considerable extent disqualify them for its duties. A love of activity is good; a passion for it is an evil. There is such a thing as well-regulated, temperate, religious zeal—and there is also such a thing as a species of religious excessiveness. When a young person loves home and home duties, but is ever willing and ready on suitable occasions, and for a proper object, to leave them for works of religious and common benevolence, she has a right disposition. But when home and home duties are irksome, and she is ever longing for the excitement of public services, her taste has been corrupted, her character damaged, and her prospects for future life have become somewhat beclouded. If she has abandoned the intention or wish ever to become a wife, and has determined to be a sister of charity, it may be all very well to desire to give herself wholly to works of benevolent activity—but if not, let her beware how she acquires tendencies, and forms habits, which would equally unfit and indispose her for the duties of wedded life.

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Young women while at home should be generally regulated by the wishes of their parents, and especially by their mothers. They are not, and should neither wish nor attempt to be, independent of parental control. A good and wise daughter will ever look up with affectionate deference to a good and wise mother, and will not therefore enter on any career of religious activity without consulting her. It may be that the wishes of the child and the opinions of the parent, on this point, are sometimes in opposition to each other, and it requires little argument to prove which in this case ought to give way.

Perhaps, some zealous, ardent, young female will put such a question as this—"I feel it my duty to God to attempt to spread religion, and to do good to my fellow-creatures, especially in the way of saving their souls; but my parents, not being themselves Christians, oppose it, and will not allow me either to engage in Sunday-school instruction, to collect for missionary or Bible societies, to distribute tracts, or to read the Scriptures to the poor. Is it my duty to follow out my own convictions, or yield up my wishes to my parents?" It would be very proper for you, in a respectful and deferential manner, to state your wishes, and use every argument to obtain their compliance—but if this should prove ineffectual, you must then submit and bear the privation without resentful sullenness. To be moody, ill-tempered, and petulant under the refusal, would too plainly indicate that you have much yet to do in your own heart, to foster religion there, before you seek to communicate it to others. You are under no such obligation to exercise your religious zeal in any particular way—as you are to seek your own salvation. It is manifestly your duty to do good, and you can do it, even under such restrictions as those I am now supposing; for you can set a holy example, and you can pray for the spiritual welfare of others, and correspond with absent friends, and perhaps influence by conversation your companions—and thus are not, and cannot be, shut out from all methods of doing good. And as for those from which you are debarred by parental authority, God will take the desire for the deed, and reward the intention, as he would have done the action, had you been permitted to perform it.

Consider also that as your parents do not enter into your views of religion, they will regard your conduct, if you persist, in no other light than that of a refractory spirit, and will thus receive a prejudice against religion on account of your conduct—whereas a meek and good-natured yielding to their wishes, and sacrificing an object which they perceive to have been near your heart, will dispose them to think favorably of the religious principle which could produce such a spirit of unresisting and uncomplaining self-denial.

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In order to be useful, it is necessary to cultivate habits of order, punctuality, and the right employment of TIME. There is no doing good without the proper use of time. Two things cannot be done at once. Benevolent service requires time. And how much time is wasted, which the miseries and needs of society require! "Redeem the time!"—is a warning that should ever be sounding in our ears. We need it for the improvement of our own souls—and we need it for the good of others. We can do much with a proper use of time—and nothing without it. There is scarcely anything to which the injunction of our Lord more strictly applies than to time—"Gather up the fragments that nothing be lost." Order redeems time, so does punctuality—therefore order and punctuality are ways of supplying the time necessary for the exercise of deeds of mercy.

Redeem time from useless reading, and other selfish entertainments—and also from that excessive addictedness to the worldly accomplishments of music, arts, and fancy craft-works, which are so characteristic of the present day. That some portion of time may be given to these things is admitted. I am not for parting with the exquisite polish which skill in these matters imparts to female elegance. I love to see the decorations of female mind and manners. Of this I may have to speak again in a future chapter, and therefore shall merely now enquire—when the cries of misery are entering into her ears, and the groans of creation are arising all around her; when countless millions abroad are living and dying without the light of the gospel and the hope of salvation; when at our own doors will be found so many passing in ignorance and wickedness to their eternal destinies—is it humane for a Christian woman to spend so much precious time each day over her knitting, crotchet, or embroidery work? As she sits plying those needles, and bringing out, it may be, the tasteful design hour after hour—does she never hear the cry of human woe, "Come over and help us!" Does it never occur to her, how many souls have gone into eternity unprepared to meet their God, since she took her chair and commenced her daily entertainment?

Or, even leaving out of view the employment of her time for deeds of mercy to others; is it not an afflicting sight to behold so much time thrown away on these elegant trifles, which might be employed in cultivating one's own mind and heart, by reading useful Christian literature? You cannot, systematically, do good either to yourself or others, without redeeming time for the purpose!

Perhaps the following very striking antithetic description of time will interest and instruct many of the readers of this chapter—"TIME is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future has not yet come, and the present becomes the past, even while we attempt to define it, and like the flash of the lightning, at once exists and expires. Time is the measure of all things, but is itself immeasurable, and the grand discloser of all things, but is itself undisclosed. Like space, it is incomprehensible, because it has no limit, and it would be still more incomprehensible, if it had. Time is more obscure in its source than the Nile, and in its termination than the Niger—and advances like the slowest tide, but retreats like the swiftest torrent. Time give wings of lightning to pleasure, but 'feet of lead' to pain. Time lends 'expectation' a curb, but 'enjoyment' a spur. Time robs beauty of her charms. Time builds a monument to merit, but denies it a house. Time is the transient and deceitful flatterer of falsehood, but the tried and final friend of truth. Time is the most subtle yet the most insatiable of predators, and by appearing to take nothing, is permitted to take all—nor can it be satisfied, until it has stolen the world from us, and us from the world. Time constantly flies, yet overcomes all things by flight, and although it is the present ally, it will be the future conqueror of death. Time—the cradle of hope but the grave of ambition—is the stern corrector of fools, but the salutary counselor of the wise, bringing all they dread to the one, and all they desire to the other; but like Cassandra, it warns us with a voice that even the sagest discredit too long, and the silliest believe too late. Wisdom walks before it, opportunity with it, and repentance behind it—he who has made time his friend, will have little to fear from his enemies, but he who has made it his enemy, will have little to hope from his friends."

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        Permit me now to remind you that  all your efforts of religious zeal should be carried on in a spirit of FAITH and PRAYER. Christian zeal should not be merely the love of activity, much less an ambitious fondness for publicity and display, that moves you; but the overpowering feelings of love to God and love to man. Zeal must not be a substitute for religion, but the impulse and the constraining power of it. Instead of weakening your own piety, zeal must strengthen it. Emanating from your own holy mind, zeal must, like the newly kindled flame, react upon and increase the fervor of its source. You must be watchful over your spirit, and take care that your humility and spirituality be not impaired by a spirit of vanity. You should look well to your motives, and subject your heart to a most rigid self-scrutiny. In the retirement of the closet you should cultivate that spirit of dependence which expresses itself in prayer—and is cherished by prayer. The more you do for the spiritual welfare of others, the more you must do for your own. You should take alarm if you find that the excitements of zeal produce indisposedness for the more retired and quiet exercises of devotion. A renewed consecration to your work should often taken place—preceded by a renewed consecration of yourselves to God.

        To encourage you in your career of holy activity, I may call you, in CONCLUSION, to consider the nature of your work, and the consequences that will follow even your humble endeavors to carry it on. It is salvation, the gift of God to man, which Jesus Christ came to our world to produce, and the Scriptures are written to describe and impart. It is saving religion, the balm of man's wounded heart, the renovator of his corrupt nature, the means of his happiness, his preparation for immortal glory—it is saving religion, the source of individual comfort, domestic peace, social order, national prosperity, and the whole world's restoration—it is saving religion, which shall cover our earth with the glories of millennial bliss, and raise up countless millions of our race from the ruins of the fall to the heavens of the eternal God—it is saving religion, which shall be the glory and the bliss of the redeemed church throughout eternity—it is saving religion, the cause for which prophets testified, apostles labored, martyrs bled, ministers toil at home, and missionaries abroad; it is this that you are promoting by all your efforts of religious zeal!

        In this cause you shall not labor in vain, nor without your reward, for "the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea;" and your humble labors, though as drops in that mighty ocean, shall help to swell and impel the mighty mass; and after this, shall come the world where you shall be gathered unto those holy women whose lives were briefly recorded in a past chapter, and to all those chaste virgins and holy matrons, who have wrought to weave by their labors, the crown of glory which shall ever flourish on the head of our Emmanuel!

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 THE PARENTAL HOME

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise." Ephesians 6:1, 2

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10

It was the saying of a judicious governess to a pupil on leaving her establishment, "Be assured, my young friend, that the order, comfort and happiness of a family, very greatly depend upon the disposition and conduct of the younger members of it—when they cease to be children. I have seen the declining years of some kind parents completely embittered by the pride, self-will, and inconsiderate conduct of their children. When a young lady returns home, if she is not so good a daughter as she was before, whatever acquisitions she may have made at school, she had better not have been there."

This advice, so sensible and so appropriate, not only shows how well-qualified was the admirable woman who offered it for the discharge of her duties, but is well worthy of being written on the first page of every young woman's album, yes, upon the tablet of her heart, and of being read by her every day of her residence in her father's house.

What we are at home, is what we really are. Everyone is best known at home. Many change their conduct and behavior when they go into social company. It has become almost a proverbial saying—"Tell me not what people are in company—but what they are in the family circle." Home, as I have already said, is one of the sweetest words in our language; and nowhere better understood than in our own country. But it involves as many duties as it does enjoyments. It is not only a paradise of delights—but a school of virtue. A family is a little world within doors; the miniature resemblance of the great world without. It is in the home of her parents that a young female is trained for a home of her own—and generally speaking what she was in the former, that, in full maturity and expansion, she will be in the latter; the good wife and judicious mother, looking well to the way of her household, being the full-blown rose of which the good girl at home was the bud of promise and of hope.

And it may be depended upon as a principle, suggested by reason, as well as a fact corroborated by observation, that she who contributes nothing to the happiness of her early home as a daughter, is not likely to find others contributing to her later one as a wife, a mother, and a manager of the household. It is therefore of immense importance that you should at once, at the very commencement of this chapter, pause and ponder the momentous truth, that you are preparing your own future home by the manner in which you conduct yourself in the home of your father—and because of its importance it is thus dwelt upon with such repetition.

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In one aspect the subject of this chapter is of more consequence in reference to you, than it is in reference to your brothers; you remain longer at home than they. It is the usual order of things for them to remove early from beneath the parental roof, first to learn, and then to pursue, their avocations in life; so that if their disposition be unamiable and their habits unfriendly to domestic peace, they soon depart and the annoyance goes with them. But you, if not necessitated to go out into a situation for your own support, remain with your parents until you are married; and if not wedded, you are with them continually. In the latter case, being a fixture in the household, you are under the greater obligation to increase its happiness. Of how much comfort or distress, according to her character and conduct, may a daughter be to a family through a period of ten or twenty years, dating from the period of her completion of her education! Hence it is always a source, not of unmixed delight, but of some anxiety, to a considerate mother, what kind of home character her child will prove when she has finished her education, and exchanges the company of her teachers and fellow-pupils, for that of the family circle.

Here then is the first thing, the great thing, to be determined upon by the young woman on her return home—to be largely a contributor to the happiness of the domestic circle. You cannot be a cipher in the house, or a nonentity. The other members of the little community must be affected by your conduct. You are ever in the midst of them, and your actions, words, and even your looks, exert an influence upon them. Behold, then, your starting point in the career of home duties. Take up this resolution, intelligently, deliberately, determinately, "I will, by God's grace, do all I can to make my home happy to others—and thus comfortable to myself."

Look at this resolution, ponder it, imprint it on your memory, heart, conscience. Is it not wise, virtuous, right? Do not reason, conscience, self-love, approve it? Let it be a serious matter of consideration with you, not merely a thought passing through the mind, and leaving no trace behind; but a deep, abiding, influential consideration. Have not your parents a right to expect it? Is it not the most reasonable thing in the world, that enjoying the protection and comforts of home—you should in return make home happy?

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To diffuse happiness anywhere is a blissful enjoyment, but most of all at home. To light up any countenances with joy, is to a benevolent mind, a desirable thing; but most of all the countenances of parents, brothers, and sisters. Set out with an intense ambition to compel from the whole family circle the testimony that it was a happy era in its history when you permanently resided at home. O, to hear a mother say, "Your coming, my daughter, was as the settling of a ministering angel among us; your amiability of disposition, your constant efforts to please, your sweet and gentle self-sacrificing disposition have been a lamp in our dwelling, in the light of which we have all rejoiced. What a large accession, my beloved child, have you brought to our domestic felicity! Receive your mother's thanks and blessing." The hardest heart would be moved by such a hope as this.

Contemplate now the contrast to this, when the conduct of the daughter is such as to extort such a declaration as the following from sorrowful parents—"We looked forward with pleasure and with hope, not altogether unmixed with anxiety, to the time when we would receive her back from school, to be our companion and our comfort. But how bitter is our disappointment! Her unamiable disposition, her heedlessness of our happiness, her restlessness in the family circle, her craving for any company but ours—are painfully obvious. It was, we regret to say it, a sad increase of our domestic trouble, when she became a permanent inhabitant of our house." Sighs and tears follow this sad confession. Which of these shall be the case with you? Can you hesitate?

Having then made up your mind to be a comfort at home, you should, and will, of course, inquire into the means of accomplishing your purpose. These will, if the purpose be fixed, and the desire intense, almost without any enumeration suggest themselves. Those who really want to make others happy, will find out their own means of doing so, and be ingenious in their devices to effectuate their end. Many things are difficult and require deep thought, but not so the desire to please. If our heart be set upon it, we can diffuse bliss almost without effort or contrivance. From a heart fully possessed with the desire to make others happy, kind attitudes, words, and acts will perpetually flow off, like the waters of a spring ever rising of themselves.

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But I will lay down rules for your guidance, that your behavior at home may contribute to the happiness of your family circle.

Should your parents themselves be truly pious people, who have trained you up in the fear of the Lord, their deepest solicitude and most earnest prayer for you, is that you may "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth." You have been the witnesses of some of their great concern on this ground, and for this object. You have heard a father's prayers, have seen, perhaps, a mother's tears for your salvation; but of the whole of their concern on this point you never can know. It is too deep for you to fathom. Until this great subject is determined; until they see you in earnest to lead a pious life, they cannot be happy. They value your love, your respect, your attentions to their comfort, your general good conduct, your acquirements, and not infrequently feel a parent's delight over you. But "Alas, alas," they say, "one thing you lack yet, and that is, the one thing needful—true piety, the salvation of the soul. Oh, my daughter, that you were a real Christian; and that your love to Christ were as sincere as your love for me—and that all your other excellences were sanctified by the crowning one of true religion."

What a check is such a reflection to the joy of a Christian parent. How many hours of bitterness such reflections occasion! What an interruption to the bliss of a family does it occasion when there is a difference of experience on this most momentous of all subjects! How is a mother's heart grieved to see her daughters, after all the pains she has taken to form their religious character, more taken up with fashion, company, and gaiety—than with eternal realities! And that good man, their father, how is he distressed to see his counsels unheeded, his prayers unanswered, and they whom he had hoped to lead to the altar of God, far more fond of the fleeting mirthful vanities of the world!

On the other hand, how happy are those parents whose children are one with them in this momentous concern. How sweet and sacred are the seasons of family worship, when, not by constraint, but willingly, the children assemble round the domestic altar, and join in the sacrifice of prayer and praise. No jars and discords now arise for the lack of sympathy in these great subjects. No opposition of tastes occurs, no clashing of interests. Very often does the mother exclaim in the fondness of her heart, "Thank God, that dear girl is a Christian, and to all her other excellences which endear her to my heart, adds piety towards God. The beauties of holiness invest her charms with a loveliness that nothing else can impart."

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In order to make home happy, there must be a proper consideration and right discharge of all the duties you owe to the various members of the little community of which it is composed.

First of all, there are the duties to your PARENTS. That home cannot be a happy one where they are neglected, and filial duty is lacking in the heart and conduct of the children. God has selected the most comprehensive term that could be employed on this subject, "Honor your father and mother." This includes respect, love, and obedience. It is not necessary here to state the claims which parents have upon your gratitude, reverence, and regard. I can only remind you how much of the happiness of home depends upon a right understanding and discharge of the duties you owe to them. When the father's heart is wounded by disobedient conduct, or even disrespectful language; when the mother's comfort is neglected, and her burdens are unshared—when it is apparent that the children are much more intent upon their own gratification than that of their parents—when services are rendered to them tardily, reluctantly, and with bad attitudes—when dissatisfaction is uttered by the parent, only to be answered by disrespect from the child, happiness must be a stranger in such a home. Disobedience in young children, in whom reason and reflection are yet feeble, is bad enough, but it is far worse in those who are grown or growing to years of maturity.

On the other hand, if it be beautiful to see the tender obedience and affectionate attentions of childhood, which are rather the efforts of instinct than of reason—it is a far more attractive scene to witness the reverent regard, the studious desire to please, the anxious effort to gratify, manifested towards her parents by a grownup daughter. Here the intelligent mind is moved by the affectionate heart, and the affectionate heart is, in return, guided and impelled by the intelligent mind. If your parents have been less educated than you, and at the same time have spared no expense to afford you advantages which they did not possess, how ungrateful would it be in you, by any part of your conduct, to display your superiority and make them conscious of their ignorance! Before a mother's infirmities reach the point of actual incompetency, a good daughter will feel solicitous to share with her the burden of domestic care, and to relieve her as far as possible from her load of maternal duty. This requires caution, lest by an meddlesome intrusion of help, it would be suspected she was desirous of thrusting the mother from her superintendence, and of stepping into her place. It can never fail to wound a mother's heart to be supposed to be incompetent to fill her own situation as female head of the family. Even when senility is creeping on, she should be made to feel it as little as possible, and the forms and show of authority should be allowed to remain, when the reality has passed away. Jealousy is one of the last passions that die in the human heart, and it should not be awakened by any part of filial conduct in the mind of a parent. A wife, mother, and manager of the household, deposed by her daughter, is a painful sight. She may have much weakness, but still enough reflection remains to make her feel her humiliation.

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Therefore, young women, in aiding a mother, do not attempt to wrest the keys from her keeping, but only employ them under her direction. For this be ever ready. It is to me one of the most lovely scenes on earth to see a young woman risen up to be the companion and helper of her mother, placing herself by her side, and foregoing many an invitation and opportunity of personal enjoyment to relieve her solitude, to lighten her cares, or to minister to her comfort. Your object should be to share your mother's labors, without superseding her authority—and to assist her in a way so tender and so delicate as shall neither awaken her suspicion that you wish to supplant her, nor make her feel that she is incapable of doing without you. To these duties all should be attentive, but especially those daughters who make a profession of religion.

Many who will read this work are happily in this state—and to them would I most earnestly and affectionately say, "Let your light shine" at home, that its inhabitants "seeing your good works, may glorify God your Heavenly Father." Let it be most impressively and constantly felt by you, and let it be seen by others, that you feel that Christianity is no abstract thing of times, places, and occasions; but an element of the general character, which is to enter into all relations, all duties, and all engagements. It must improve you in everything, spreading like a gilded surface over your whole selves and all your conduct, and shining like a beautiful polish on every other excellence. It must make you a better daughter in every aspect—more respectful, more kind, more devoted to your parents; and compel them to say, "Happy was the day when she became a Christian, for from that hour she became a lovelier and more loving child!"

It may be that the parents of some of you are not truly converted to God. This places you in a difficult and delicate situation, and will require the utmost solicitude, care, and prayer, that you may be prevented from doing, or being, anything that would prejudice them against religion; and that you may be enabled on the contrary so to conduct yourself as to predispose them in its favor. You must affect no superiority, nor even seem to say, "Stand aside—I am holier than you." This is improper towards any one, much more towards a parent. You can pray for them, and you can exhibit to them, by your example, invested with all the beauties of holiness, what religion is; but direct efforts to bring them under its influence, though they should not be altogether withheld, should be conducted with the greatest tenderness, humility, modesty and delicacy. There must be no lecturing, much less any reproach or accusation. A deep, tender, loving solicitude for their spiritual welfare, must be seen veiled with modesty, but still seen, penetrating the transparent and graceful covering; a solicitude which only now and then presumes to speak; but, when it does, always in love. Such a line of conduct may accomplish its purpose, and produce results like the following—

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A female, who had been some years known and respected for her quiet, consistent, unobtrusive, Christian deportment, called on her minister to introduce her aged mother, who leaned on her arm, and seemed to repose on her that tender dependence which is so soothing and delightful to an aged parent, and so heart-thrilling to a dutiful and grateful child. Both were overcome by their feelings, and it was some moments before either could speak. The minister desired them to be seated, and cheerfully said, 'Well Hannah, I suppose this is your good mother, I am very happy to see her.' 'Yes,' replied the mother in broken accents, 'Her mother, and her daughter too. Twenty-five years ago I bore her in infancy; and now through her instrumentality, I trust I am born to God.'

Mr. Jay relates a similar anecdote. 'Well,' said a mother, one day, weeping (her daughter being proposed as a candidate for Christian communion), 'I will resist no longer. How can I bear to see my dear child love and read the Scriptures, while I never look into the Bible; to see her retire and seek God, while I never pray; to see her going to the Lord's table, while his death is nothing to me?' 'Ah,' said she to the minister who called to inform her of her daughter's desire, wiping her eyes, 'Yes, sir, I know she is right and I am wrong—I have seen her firm under reproach, and patient under provocation, and cheerful in all her sufferings. When, in her late illness, she was ready to die, heaven stood in her face. Oh, that I was as fit to die! I ought to have taught her, but I am sure she has taught me. How can I bear to see her joining the church of God, and leaving me behind, perhaps forever?' From that hour she prayed in earnest that the God of her child would be her God, and was soon seen walking with her in the way everlasting.

But there are, in most cases, other members of the household besides parents—BROTHERS and SISTERS—who also require attention and right conduct from a young woman at home. A loving, united, harmonious family, I repeat again, where the children all promote the comfort of their parents and of one another; where each is studious to please and to perform all kind offices for the rest, and all seek the happiness of each, is one of the loveliest scenes to be found in our selfish and discordant world. Much, very much, depends upon the daughters for this domestic harmony. They can exert, if prudent, good-tempered and accommodating—a softening influence over the minds and manners of their brothers. Sisterly affection, judiciously displayed, is one of the sweetest and most powerful ingredients in the cup of domestic enjoyment. True it is, that it will require occasionally some little self-denial, and sacrifice of personal gratification, desires, and feeling, to conciliate the affection, and secure the good-will of brothers, who are apt to begin too soon to feel that they are "the lords of the creation;" but this is necessary to keep the peace of the family. And a girl of good sense and affectionate disposition, will do a great deal towards it.

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Woman is made to yield, though not to be trampled upon. Her gentle nature is formed for submission, rather than for resistance. A good and wise sister will feel this, and her affection will, in most cases, be her protection. Let her put forth the thousand little ingenious arts, and throw the silken cords of love over her brother's hearts, and she may do much to attach, and in some cases, even to subject, them to her, and make them fond of home.

A husband is but too apt to run away from the home which is tenanted by an ill-natured wife; and brothers have been often driven away to wicked company—by cross, sullen, unaccommodating sisters. I am aware that it is but too frequently the case, that young men are polite and attentive to every female but those they meet at home every day, and that scarcely any one has to complain of a lack of civility and pleasantness, but their sisters. At the same time it must be confessed, that some young women have themselves to blame for this, for it does require more virtue than is ordinarily found, to be much attached and very attentive to such an impersonation of pettishness, bad disposition, and vanity—as some silly girls present at home. How many parents' comfort is disturbed, and their hearts half-broken, by the jealousy, envy, and contention of their children!

To the elder daughter, especially if she be older than her brothers also, a larger share of responsibility attaches than to any other of the children, because her influence is greater. She does almost as much to form the character of the younger branches as the mother, and when the latter is feeble or inefficient, perhaps more. It is a lovely sight to behold an intelligent and affectionate girl, exerting a gentle, yet not authoritative or dictatorial power, over her younger brothers or sisters, setting them a beautiful example of filial piety, and devoting all her efforts to uphold parental authority over them, conciliating their confidence by her judgment, and their affection by her kindness; throwing a softening and gentle influence over their cruder and harsher natures, and compelling the parents to say "She is a second mother to the family!"

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O literature is public domain—use it in any way you desire.
No monetary donations accepted. "Freely you
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