The Young Woman's Guide through Life to Immortality

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Flattering as the scene before her must have appeared to a worldly eye, the sacrifices she made at this moment of compliance were certainly very considerable. What could have led to such an answer, when standing between the tears of parental and fraternal affection, and the urgency of a mere stranger, the servant too of her future home—but a faith which overcame the world, and dictated her holy resolution. Heaven appointed her journey, and nature pleaded in vain. That religion had something to do with it, I have no doubt; that the promptings of the female heart had also some influence, I have as little doubt. "What woman," says Monod, "under a sense of her dependence, has not wished once in her life, for the arm of a man to support her, and his name to shelter her? But at the same time, what woman under the feeling of reserve, has not kept her secret closely shut up within her own bosom, waiting silently until she is sought for, even though she should wait until the hour of her death, hastened, perhaps, in some cases, by that internal fire by which she would be consumed within, rather than allow it to be blazed abroad. The invariable order of marriage which surrenders the initiative to man, and does not accord even the appearance of it to woman, is not a refinement of civilization, it is not even a nicety of the gospel, it is a law imposed on woman in every age, not excepting the most barbarous; and among all people, not excepting the most savage."

Rebekah partook of this feeling, but she worshiped the true God, and lived amid those who worshiped idols, where perhaps few opportunities of a holy union presented themselves; and now one offered, in which was combined all that piety could desire, and even vanity crave; she therefore required little or no time to deliberate upon it, and at once consented to accompany the servant of Abraham. Rebekah took leave of her friends, and proceeded on her eventful journey under the care of Eleazar, and accompanied, both for her comfort and her protection, by Deborah, an old and faithful servant who had nursed her from a child.

For a moment we leave her, proceeding on her journey, to speak of her future husband, of whom good Bishop Hall says, "Of all the patriarchs, none made so little noise in the world as Isaac; none lived either so privately, or so innocently; neither know I whether he proved himself a better son or husband. For the one he gave himself over to the knife of his father when about to be offered up in sacrifice, and mourned three years for his mother; for the other he reserved himself in chaste forbearance twenty years and prayed."

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Isaac appears to have been a quiet, retiring, domestic, and devotional character; good, rather than great, and altogether blameless, with the exception that he was a little too much addicted to the gratification of his palate. "It is a calm and peaceful summer evening. The oxen have been lodged in their stalls, and the implements of husbandry are at rest in the furrows of the field. Not a breath of wind rustles in the noiseless leaves. Not a stray sheep wanders in the dark shadow of the hills. It is a time of profound repose. One solitary figure is seen slowly pacing the sweet-scented meadow path. Unconscious of nature's charms, although his soul is melted into sweet harmony with the peace that reigns all around, he is wrapped in holy fellowship with the God of his salvation." (Candlish)

It is Isaac, "who had gone out into the fields to meditate." No improper oratory for the good man, who, surrounded by the glories of creation, looks through nature up to nature's God. In such an exercise and such a frame of mind, Isaac was well prepared to receive the best possible earthly blessing—a good wife. Perhaps he was then meditating upon Eleazar's mission, and beseeching heaven for its success. Behold the answer of his prayers! A cavalcade is seen in the distance approaching. It draws nearer and nearer. Can it be the return of Eleazar, the faithful servant? And are there not two women in the retinue, one young and the other far advanced in life? The vision of his future wife now flashed through his imagination as the procession drew nearer, and his eyes with fixed attention rested upon the beauteous form of Rebekah.

"And who," says Rebekah, whose eyes are as busy in looking towards Canaan as Isaac's are in the direction of Mesopotamia, "is that meditative man approaching us?" The secret is disclosed by the faithful, joyful Eleazar. "My master, Isaac!" As she approached her destined husband, see how female delicacy, and maiden modesty and reserve, resume their empire. "She alighted off the camel; and took a veil and covered herself." This act expressed her subjection as his already espoused wife, to him as her future husband.

"And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her—and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death." In this tender manner does this admirable story close. Peace be to that dwelling, the residence of a dutiful son and a tender husband—and of a kind, generous, open-hearted, pious wife. Dutiful sons promise to be affectionate husbands—and were I a woman, and received an offer of marriage, one of the first enquiries I would make concerning the man who solicited my hand and heart, would be "How did he behave to his mother?" feeling assured that conjugal affection could scarcely be expected to dwell in that heart from which filial regard had been excluded. He who is insensible to a mother's tender affection, believe me, my young friends, is not to be entrusted with the care of a woman's heart and happiness.

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"We may here pause and remark that all the circumstances continue to make this portion of the sacred record peculiarly attractive. In reading it we feel at home amid these patriarchal incidents and descriptions, realizing them as if they were familiar. The stately pomp and ceremony, reserve and coldness and suspicion of a more artificial social state pass away. The freshness of nature's early truth and tenderness returns—artless, guileless, fearless. We breathe a purer and freer air. We are touched with a deeper sense at once of a special Providence in heaven, and of a real and true sympathy on earth. We feel that there can be such a thing as the exercise of a frank and generous trust, relying both upon God and upon man; and that it is possible to act upon the belief both of God's superintendence and of man's sincerity."

Before we consider what is to be learned from the conduct of Rebekah as a wife and a mother, we will for a few moments contemplate her in reference to the act which made her such, her marriage. The circumstances connected with this were peculiar to the times, and partook of a simplicity, as I have already remarked, to which your history is not likely to supply a parallel. One thing, however, may be noticed—it was with the concurrence and consent of her family. I cannot account for the fact of Bethuel, Rebekah's father, being passed over in silence, and Laban her brother only being mentioned as conducting the transaction, except upon the supposition that Bethuel was dead. It is true the name occurs once in the history, but this probably was a brother. But Laban was consulted. There was nothing clandestine in the affair. And moreover it was a marriage in which the claims of religion were considered. On this delicate subject I cannot enlarge. If Rebekah had showed too great an eagerness for leaving the single state, and somewhat too hasty a decision, we do not recommend this to you; from this however we have absolved her.

It may be natural enough to prefer the married to the unmarried state, when an opportunity offers for entering into it. But let not your minds be unduly restless and anxious in realizing the object of your wishes. Avoid all romantic and poetic imaginativeness on this momentous affair. Do not allow yourselves ever to treat it with levity, or to sustain or adopt a line of conduct which would look as if you were more anxious to be a wife—than to be qualified for such a state. Never come to the conclusion that you cannot be happy if you are not married—and cannot but be happy if you are married. Let the multitude of happy maidens and the equal number of unhappy wives, correct such mistakes, and dispel all the illusions with which the idea of marriage disturbs the propriety of some young women's conduct.

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Treat the whole subject, not as a matter of poetry and romance, but as one of the gravest realities of life. It is an affair of  love—but it is also an affair of prudence. It is a matter of taste, and even of poetic delightedness—but it is also a matter of judgment and of conscience. It is not a thing to be laughed and joked about—but to be pondered in the deepest recesses of the soul—and prayed over in the most solemn seasons of devotion. It is momentous to both parties, but most so to the woman.

"Life or death, felicity or a lasting sorrow, are in the power of marriage. A woman indeed ventures most, for she has no sanctuary to retire to from an evil husband. She must dwell upon her sorrow, and hatch the eggs which her folly or her unhappiness has produced—and she is more under it, because her tormentor has a warrant of prerogative, and the woman may complain to God, as subjects do of tyrant princes; but otherwise, she has no appeal in the causes of unkindness. And even of the man we may say, though he can run from many hours of his sadness, yet he must return to it again, and when he sits among his neighbors he remembers the objection that lies in his bosom, and he sighs deeply." (Jeremy Taylor's "Marriage Ring")

It is not necessary for me here to lay down many rules for your guidance in this affair. When however it comes in your way, consult, not only your heart, and your imagination, and your young companions—but your judgment, your God by prayer, and your parents for advice. Enter into no commitment without the cognizance of those natural guides and guardians of your youth. It is at the beginning of connections of this kind that parental counsel should be sought. Never commit yourselves by a word until the domestic oracle has been consulted—nor allow your affections to be entangled until a father's and a mother's judgment have been pronounced. Determine that similarity of taste, especially in the most important of all matters, religion—shall form the basis of any union you may form.

Should it be that God has not destined you to wedded bliss, do not forget "that there are advantages peculiar to single life—that it affords an immunity from many cares, an opportunity for intellectual pursuits, a power to do good extensively—which married women may not enjoy. And if these privileges are improved; if cheerfulness and benevolence characterize the disposition, there will be no lack of occupation, of happiness, or of sympathy. The kind sister or aunt will be always welcomed; she will be hailed as the agreeable companion, or the tender nurse; as the participator in joy, or the sympathizer in sorrow; as the helper in business, or the companion in affliction; she will be the ready assistant in every good work, the children will run to greet her arrival, the poor will rise up and call her blessed. And if in truth, as we do see in some bright examples in our own day, her energy grows with her desire of doing good, and in the assiduous and pain-taking efforts of Christian charity she seems to forget the weakness of her sex, she realizes in one of its most pleasing forms primitive devotedness. In pious exercises more spiritual, in self-denial more mortified, in faith more pure, than any of the cloistered nuns of the strictest order; while at the same time her religion is without superstition, and her sobriety without gloom. She is one of a holy sisterhood—whose vows are scriptural—and whose voluntary service is the labor of love." (Mrs. Sandford)

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We now turn to another chapter in the history of Rebekah, in which she appears to far less advantage than she does in the one we have just reviewed, where the artless simplicity of the virgin is lost in the crooked policy of the designing wife and the too partial mother. Perhaps it will be thought by some that as I am addressing young women, I might have cut short the story with her marriage and her virtues—and drawn a veil over her future failings. But I bear in recollection what I said in a former chapter that the matron should be held up to the maiden, that from the outset she may learn what to copy—and what to avoid. And here is a striking example to serve this purpose—an affecting instance to prove what a transformation a change of circumstances may produce in the same person! Isaac and Rebekah, like Abraham and Sarah, had their faith tried in waiting long for the son who was to be the heir of promise. Twenty years elapsed and Rebekah bore no child. In answer to the earnest prayers of her husband, God gave her the prospect of becoming a mother. Before this happy event took place she received a communication from the Lord that she should give birth to twins, who should be the heads of two separate nations, and that contrary to the order of nature and the custom of nations—the elder brother should serve the younger. Esau and Jacob were born, grew up, and exhibited great difference of taste and character. Into this family of Isaac and Rebekah there entered that which has rent myriads and myriads of households, setting the husband against the wife, the mother against the father, and one child against another; disturbing the harmony of domestic peace; poisoning the springs of domestic happiness; and preventing the progress of domestic improvement—I mean parental favoritism. "Isaac loved Esau in particular because of the wild game he brought home, but Rebekah favored Jacob." Genesis 25:28

In the case of Isaac and Rebekah, the parents had each their favorite child, and what was worse—manifested their fondness. It may in some cases be almost impossible not to have a preference for one child above another, but what anxious carefulness should there be to conceal it! Policy and justice both demand from parents an equal distribution of their affection, their favor, and their goods; for if there be one folly which more certainly punishes itself than another, it is this ill-judged and wicked favoritism between children. Parental partiality injures both the one preferred and the one that is slighted—inflating the one with pride, insolence, and vanity—and corrupting the other by jealousy, envy, and revenge. Isaac loved Esau, and for a reason not very honorable to his character, "because he ate his wild game." Rebekah loved Jacob, for what reason we are not told; it is probable on account both of his superior excellence, and of the revelation which God had made to her concerning his future history. She was undoubtedly a woman of sincere faith, and even her most censurable conduct arose from misdirected piety. She, like another female in after times, pondered in her heart all the things which had been spoken of God concerning her child of promise.

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It was not long before the effects of parental partiality appeared in the family. A competition for precedence, and the 'right of firstborn' engaged the attention of the brothers, and whetted their spirits against each other from their earliest years, and the outcome was alienation, separation, hostility, on the part of the children, and sorrow and distress on the part of the parents. Jacob's conduct was selfishness, and Esau's profane. The younger son knew that he was destined to precedence, and instead of leaving God to fulfill his own purpose, sought to accomplish it in a manner unworthy both of himself and of the blessing.

Time, which moves on with ceaseless tread, had brought Isaac to old age; and he now thought of his approaching end, and the propriety of settling his domestic affairs. His great concern was to direct the descent of the patriarchal blessing, which in this case, implied more than that ordinary benediction which every good man would pronounce on all his children without distinction; it comprehended the great things contained in the covenant with Abraham, according to which his posterity was to be selected and distinguished as the peculiar people of God, and to give birth to the Messiah. Isaac ought to have remembered the communication made to Rebekah, and by her doubtless told to him, that this blessing was to be bestowed upon Jacob. Natural attachment for a while overcame his faith, and he prepared to divert the blessing from the channel marked out for it by the purpose and providence of God. To enkindle his affection for Esau, by the remembrance of past gratifications, he wished to have some savory meat, certainly a carnal introduction to so divine an act, partaking more of the flesh than of the Spirit, and betraying more of that parental partiality under which he had acted, than of the faith of a son of Abraham.

See, of what importance it is to avoid contracting bad habits early, seeing time, indulgence and habit, interweave them with our very constitution, until they become a second nature, and age confirms instead of eradicating them. We find the two great infirmities of Isaac's character predominant to the last–
1. A disposition to gratify his palate with a particular kind of food.
2. Partiality to his son Esau.

Rebekah, whose affection was ever wakeful, active, and jealous for her favorite child, overheard the charge given by her husband to Esau, and instantly plans a scheme to divert the blessing into another, and as she knew into its right, channel. What should she have done? Expostulated with Isaac on the impropriety of acting in direct opposition to the revealed purpose of God. Such an appeal to a mind devout and contemplative, as his evidently was, notwithstanding its weaknesses, would in all probability have succeeded. Instead of this, she manifested what has ever been considered to be one of woman's infirmities—a disposition to have recourse to finesse, stratagem, and maneuver—a wish to carry her object by a indirect and circuitous way—rather than by an open and straightforward course.

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It is unnecessary for me to enter into the details of her plan, its prompt execution, and its success. It is a sad story. There was nothing but shameless trickery and imposition, a disguised person, a stolen name, a false answer. Everything was bad except the motive, and that could not alter the character of the action, and transmute evil into good. It was a disgrace to Rebekah, a cruel fraud practiced upon Isaac, and a most grievous injury inflicted on the moral character of her son. We must not load Jacob with more of the infamy of this transaction than what really belongs to him. He was not first in the transgression. His feelings revolted from it when it was proposed to him. He remonstrated against it. His remonstrance, however, was founded more upon the 'consequences of the evil' than the evil itself. And there is a striking difference between his reasoning and that of his son Joseph. Jacob said, "I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing;" Joseph's pious and noble reply was, "How can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God."

The resoluteness of Rebekah is astounding and affecting, confirming the general opinion that woman, in a bad purpose, is often more bold and determined than man. "Upon me be your curse, my son—only obey my voice." Appalling spectacle, to see a mother, a religious mother, so far forgetting what is due to her sex, her relationship, and her piety, as not only to lead, but to goad and drag on her son to perpetrate falsehood, and to practice deception upon his half-blind father! O mothers, read this account and tremble!

The plan moves forward, but the whole plot was in danger of exploding. The conference between Isaac and his son Jacob is deeply affecting. The half awakened suspicion and artless simplicity of the father, invests, by the power of contrast, with deeper shades of infamy and guilt, the shameless, undaunted effrontery of the son. Such is the way of transgressors, one sin prepares for, and leads on, to another, until the sinner is involved by a kind of necessity to add another and another lie to help on the former one. Isaac's ears were keener than his eyes, and his mind was not so blunted by age as not to be capable of reasoning upon some improbabilities; for there is something about falsehood, which though it may silence, yet will not ordinarily satisfy. Trickery however, in this case was too deep for honesty, and Isaac, kind and credulous, soon had his suspicions lulled, ate the meal, and bestowed the blessing. It is no part of my design to paint, or rather copy the scene which followed, when the return of Esau revealed the plot and proclaimed the deception. The shock to poor old Isaac was almost overwhelming. As an aged and an decaying man, the infliction which had been practiced upon him would excite his indignation. Yet a moment's reflection would convince him of his mistake in intending to convey to Esau that blessing which God designed for Jacob. Such considerations rushing upon his mind at once, sufficiently account for all his feelings—it was to him like a place where two seas meet, or as the union of subterranean fires and waters which causes the earth to tremble.

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Esau is to be pitied, and would be more so if his distress arose from any other feelings than disappointed ambition. He who profanely despised his birthright, cared for the loss of the blessing, only as it deprived him of some earthly distinctions and temporal possessions.

Rebekah's deceitful policy had succeeded. But she soon began to reap its bitter fruits, in perceiving the feud which she had occasioned between the two brothers. The same tent could no longer contain them. And news having reached her that Esau plotted revenge, even to the murder of his fraudulent brother, she hurried away Jacob to the land of Padan-Aram, to seek a protection and a home among her own relatives.

With the sequel of this interesting story you are acquainted, and we return to Rebekah. The best explanation that can be given of her conduct, and it has been advanced by her apologists as her defense, is that she acted from religious motives. Perhaps it is in part true; but I do not think wholly so. There is much of the mother mixed up with the believer; and no small share of regard for the interests of a favorite child, blended with regard for the purposes of God. But be it so, that religion had the principal hand in this odious deception, then we see how early pious frauds were practiced for the furtherance of the faith; and Rebekah, so far as this part of her conduct is concerned, is presented to us as anticipating the principles of the Jesuits; for even if we concede to her a religious end, we must admit she adopted the most sinful means to obtain it. She was unquestionably right in her belief that God designed the blessing for Jacob, and in this one respect, I mean her faith, she was stronger and more unswerving than her husband. Yet this faith was mixed with some unbelief after all; for what else was it but a partial distrust, that led her to adopt such sinful means to secure the accomplishment of the divine purpose? Does God's truth require man's falsehood to fulfill it? Cannot we leave God to find means to perform his own word without supposing he requires our sins to help him out of a dilemma? The urgency of the temptation was no doubt very great. In her view an hour or two would decide the matter, and the blessing intended for Jacob would be transferred to Esau, and how then would the declaration be fulfilled? She should have left it to God.

Let us now leave the history, and learn the LESSONS with which it is fraught. The Scripture narratives are intended to exhibit holiness and sin embodied in living characters; the one for our imitation, and the other for our warning. And not infrequently we find both sin and holiness blended in the same character, requiring a careful analysis and an accurate discrimination. This discrimination is requisite in looking at the character now before us.

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As you see Rebekah with her water jug on the shoulder coming to draw water, you cannot fail to notice her domestic and industrious habits. Yes, it was when thus occupied—and not when indolently reclining upon the couch of ease, nor when sauntering with a company of associates as idle and gossiping as herself, nor when wasting her time in useless occupations of frivolity and amusement, that Eleazar saw her. No! but, though high-born, wealthy, and beautiful, bearing the water jug upon her shoulder to the well to draw the evening's supply of water for the family.

Every young woman should aim to be useful at home, and she is not a wise or good mother who does not train her daughters for such occupations. But as I have already dwelt on this, it is not necessary to enlarge upon it here, any further than to say that the humble yet useful employments of domestic life, are a virtuous woman's most honorable station; that whether in single life, wedlock, or widowhood, God and nature have destined you, my female friends, to occupation—not perhaps highly honorable in the eyes of 'unfeeling wealth' or 'giddy intemperance'—but highly important to the happiness of others, and therefore essential to your own.

We cannot fail to notice in Rebekah's early deportment an artless genuine SIMPLICITY—affectingly in contrast with her subsequent artifice and duplicity. This it is which invests her character, and most of the excellent ones in Scripture, with such an irresistible charm. To whatever we look we find that 'simplicity is beauty'. This is true of nature as the great model. Amid all its grandeur and complexity, its processes appear easy and spontaneous, being all originated and directed by a wisdom and a power which operate not only without visible effort but in perfect repose. Simplicity is no less beautiful in art than in nature, and the very perfection of art is to hide itself in copying the simplicity of nature. All this holds good of manners, there especially affectation is hateful and repulsive. 'Studied display' of any kind, whether of intellect or virtue, of conversation or even of pronunciation, or of singularity, whether in dress or habits—is always odious. It cannot secure respect but must excite ridicule.

Perhaps this is one of the principal follies against which women, and especially young educated women, have to guard. An 'artificial character' has a deeper meaning, involving immorality, as signifying a tendency to artifice, equivocation, and the simulation of virtue not really possessed. This in its fixed and consolidated form, is hypocrisy—the most odious vice on earth.

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But I now refer to 'artificial manners'—the affectation or parade of superiority in any particular; a studied mannerism for the purpose of display. This generally springs from that vanity which has been considered by many female writers as one of the foibles of their sex, and the prevalence of which really spoils many otherwise useful and amiable characters. It is in woman what ambition is in man; and though it may be a less dangerous, it is a more odious fault; and it is a form of self-love equally jealous and insatiable. Nothing can be more opposite to the spirit of the gospel, and the only security against it is genuine humility. Be clothed, young women, with an artless genuine simplicity. It is your most befitting and beautiful garment; and where will you obtain it, but from the wardrobe of Christianity?

Observe the COURTEOUS affability of this interesting young woman. Here was a stranger, a servant, though evidently a servant of a wealthy master; and yet how respectful, how gentle, how affable was her address. Josephus, fond of adding in his paraphrastic manner to the terseness and simplicity of the Scripture narrative, relates that there were other young women with Rebekah, who were asked for water, but refused; and that she reproved them for their churlishness. COURTESY is a befitting grace in both sexes, but most so in the female. While rudeness, which is a 'blemish' upon masculine character, is a 'blot' upon feminine character. A female churl is a monstrosity, from which we turn away with insufferable disgust. Courtesy is one of the cheapest exercises of virtue; it costs even less than rudeness—for the latter, except in hearts that are petrified into stone, must put the subject of it to some expense of feeling. Even a rough voice issuing from female lips is disagreeable, much more rough manners exhibited by a female form.

There are various things which prevent the exercise of courtesy. In some cases, it is to be traced to pride, a vice which befits a demon, but not a woman. In others it is the result of an absolute bad disposition—a morose, sour, and ill-conditioned mind, which knows no congenial seasons, and experiences no soft emotions. Some are petulant and peevish, and when putting on a mood of civility, are easily driven from it by the slightest touch of their irritability. Be courteous then; it is, if not of the solid substance of holiness, at least its polish. It is a Christian grace; for an apostle has said, "Be compassionate and courteous."

Akin to this was Rebekah's KINDNESS. There was not only an external affability of manner—but a real benevolence of disposition. Here was a stranger, tired and faint with a day's journey in a hot country, asking her kind offices to procure a supply of water for himself and his weary animals. To grant his request for himself, would have cost her no great labor; but it must have been a considerable effort to draw water enough for a number of thirsty camels! And this is more apparent when you know the construction of eastern wells, which are not like ours, but are a kind of sunken cistern, to which you descend by a flight of steps. How many tiresome descents must this young creature have made, before she satisfied the thirst of Eleazar's camels.

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And there is another little circumstance which marks her kindness; Eleazar asked only for a "sip "of water, for so the original word signifies, and she said, "Drink, and your camels." It was a solitary act, I admit; but it was so promptly, so generously done as to indicate a habit. It is said, with as much beauty as simplicity, "Love is kind;" and, if possible, with still greater beauty, it is given as one of the traits of the virtuous woman, "In her tongue is the law of kindness," the tongue here, as in all cases, commanding the hand.

Insensibility in a man is bad enough, but worse in a woman. An unfeeling woman is a contradiction in terms, for the female heart has ever been found the dwelling-place of kindness, where the misery of others, when all other hopes have failed, is sure to find an asylum. In what age, or in what country in the world, has woman forfeited her character as the ministering angel of humanity? When and where has the female bosom disowned the claims of misery and repudiated the virtue of benevolence? Arctic snows have not frozen up the springs of mercy in the female heart, nor tropical suns dried them up. Tyranny has not crushed it out, nor barbarism extinguished it. Look at Mr. Park, when alone in the midst of Africa, and lying down to die in poverty and despair, found by the black women of that wild land, carried to their tent, fed, clad, and cherished amid the tender strains of the impromptu song, with which they cheered the feelings of his heart and expressed the benevolence of their own. Young women, cherish in your bosoms the purest philanthropy. Abhor selfishness—you are made for kindness. Oppose not the design of your Creator. Do no violence to your own nature. A stony heart does not behoove you. A tearless woman is a revolting scene in our sorrowful world. She may be pure and beautiful as the marble statue—but if withal she is as hard and cold, who can admire her?

I cannot yet pass from the contemplation of this sweet and amiable young creature to behold her in her future character, until I have referred again to the veil of MODESTY under which all this affability and kindness was concealed. In listening to her language, in witnessing her conduct, will the most fastidious, prudish, or censorious of her sex, find anything to condemn in anything she said or did? Did she in the smallest measure violate decorum? She did not stand to gaze upon the stranger and his camels, or do anything to attract his attention, but was intent upon the object for which she came, and was diverted from it only by an opportunity to do good, thrown in her way, without her seeking for it. She did not anxiously or confidently enter into discourse with the man, but waited until she was addressed, and then answered him modestly.

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Modesty is the most attractive of all female graces. What is intelligence without it, but bolder impudence; or beauty but a more seductive snare? There is, I know, a reserve that degenerates into repulsive pride; as on the other hand, there is a frankness that corrupts into forwardness. Woman is intended neither to avoid man by a bashful timidity, nor to court him by an obtrusive advance. A genuine modesty guards against each extreme. It is that semi-transparent veil, which by revealing half her excellence, makes more lovely that which it reveals, and excites desire to know the rest. It is her shield as well as her veil, repelling all the darts with which, either by acts, by words, or by looks, any one would dare to assail her purity. It is also her ornament, investing all her other excellences with additional charms, the blush of purity upon the cheek of beauty. It is her power, by which she subdues every heart that is worth the conquest. Yes, what is not modesty to woman? Lay not aside your veil. Cast not away your shield. Divest not yourselves of your brightest ornament. Enfeeble not your power to influence others. Avoid everything in which the absence of this virtue can show itself.

See how the lack of it is reproved by the prophet Isaiah in his third chapter and how the practice of it enjoined by the apostle Paul—"That women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broidered hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array, but which becomes women professing godliness, with good works." Neither in dress, nor in conversation, nor in action, violate this law. Chastity is the robe which every woman should wear, and modesty is the golden clasp that keeps it upon her, and the fringe that adorns it. When the clasp is lost, the garment is likely to fall off; and when the fringe is torn away, or carelessly allowed to be trampled upon, the disfigurement of the robe has commenced, until at length it is cast away as not worth being retained.

I do not wish you to mistake a silly and affected bashfulness for modesty. You live not amid Asiatic ignorance, tyranny, sensuality, and female degradation, where woman is used mainly to pander to the appetite of her master, and where by a cruel jealousy she is excluded from communion with all but her fellow-slaves and their common tyrant. You are the women of an enlightened age and country, and you are admitted on equal terms to all the enjoyments of social communion. Assert in this respect your rights; maintain your standing, and while you throw off all boldness, cast away with it all unworthy prudishness. In one of my previous chapters, I remarked that the over-prudish mind, which can never speak to one of the opposite sex but with a blush, is not always the purest one in reality.

There are, my young friends, one or two momentous lessons for you to learn from Rebekah's conduct in after life—lessons which you must carry with you through all your future existence on earth. The first is GENERAL—a change of circumstances often produces a considerable change of character and conduct. How unlike the maid of Nahor was the wife in Canaan! And is it an uncommon thing now, for a change, far more extensive and more powerful than this, to be effected by the new condition into which marriage brings the female character?

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        Learn also this SPECIAL lesson—that we should never seek a good end by bad means; or in other words, never do evil that good may come. Abhor the great principle and favorite maxim of Jesuitism, that the end sanctifies the means; and especially abhor the application and operation of this most detestable principle in reference to religion; a principle which is more or less interwoven with the whole history of Popery. What crimes have been perpetrated by the zealots of Rome in the abused name of religion, for the good of their church! The pages of history which record the progress of that dreadful apostasy are not only 'stained' with blood, but 'steeped' in it.

        And even by other professing Christians, holding a purer creed, and animated by a milder spirit, how much has been done, ostensibly for religion, but really for sectarianism, in contradiction of every principle of the law of God, and love to our neighbor! Religion refuses to be served by any principles of action but its own, and disdains to accept any offering which is contrary to truth, love, holiness, and honor. And as the stronger our zeal is for an object, the more we are in danger of resorting, in times of difficulty or in prospect of defeat, to unworthy means; so the more fervent we are to promote any religious cause, the more watchful should we be against being seduced into the use of 'unholy means' to obtain success. The wife of Isaac was right in her object, but wrong in her means, to obtain the blessing for Jacob.

        But we must take leave of Rebekah. It is somewhat remarkable that the sacred narrative takes no notice of her death. One might have hoped that she who came upon our notice at first like a bright and lovely vision, would have been seen to depart with as much gracefulness, simplicity, and beauty as she exhibited when we first saw her with such delighted attention. Is it that this despicable act of her old age so disrobed her character of its pristine beauty that censure is pronounced upon her by this most impressive silence? But is hers the only instance of painful contrast between the maid and the matron? The only instance that has disappointed the hopes raised by youthful excellences? The only instance in which the full-blown flower has not answered to the bud? Happy would it have been for thousands if it were.

        Let it then be your first solicitude to exhibit, in your early life and single state, all those general and moral beauties which form the character of virgin excellence. Be holy, industrious, modest, benevolent, and useful—inspire hope in every beholder, and awaken expectation. But then, be ever anxious, studious, and prayerful, that in the transition from the single to the wedded state; in the development of the girl into the woman—all that was lovely, artless, and simple in youthful charms, shall, with unbroken and unvarying consistency, ripen into all that is holy, estimable, venerable in the wife, the mother, and the matron.

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THE ORNAMENTS OF A PROFESSION OF RELIGION

"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. But they must show themselves to be entirely trustworthy and good. Then they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive in every way." Titus 2:9-10

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within--the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:3-4

There is in human nature an instinctive propensity to 'decoration'. To whatever principle the taste may be traced, whether to innate perception of the beautiful, or to a desire to excite admiration--the fact is indubitable. It is seen equally in savage and civilized nations; and is manifested by them alike in attention to the decoration of both their bodies and their dwellings--and indeed in all their social customs and usages. The string of shells, fish teeth, or bits of bone--around the neck of the Polynesian; and the blaze of diamonds, or rubies--upon the brow or bosom of the British Queen, indicate the same instinctive propensity for decoration. This propensity to decoration, however in many cases it may be altogether corrupted in its object, wrong in its principle, or excessive in its degree--is in its own nature an imitation of the workmanship of God, who, "by his Spirit has garnished the heavens," and covered the earth with beauty. Who can look over one of creation's lovely scenes, and behold the display of elegance of form, and beauty of color--in the flowers of the field and garden--in the plumage of the birds--in the meandering rivers--and the gentle undulations of the ground--exhibiting forest and copse, hill and dale--all gilded with the beams of the glorious sun. I say, who can witness all this without being convinced that God himself delights in decoration! He has made a world which he has ornamented so profusely that he has scattered beauties where there are no eyes but his own to behold them!

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"Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathomed waves of ocean bear;
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its fragrance on the desert air."

To reject all design and effort to add the lovely to the good, and the beautiful to the useful--would be to oppose and not to imitate, to condemn and not to approve--the works of the Great Creator. And indeed no sect has ever arisen among Christians which has even pretended to disclaim all attention to what is ornamental. Even those who conscientiously repudiate the pearl, diamond, and ruby, the feather, and the flower, erect their buildings, select their furniture, plant their gardens, and choose their garments, according to their ideas of taste, and with some regard to the laws of beauty. Hence, I think that both the apostles who touch on the subject of personal decoration for Christian women, are to be understood not as condemning all ornament--but only regulating it.

The propensity to personal decoration is, without all doubt, peculiarly strong in the female heart. That a maid "should forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire," is spoken of by the prophet as unlikely to a proverb. There is nothing wrong in the instinct itself. It serves important purposes. Its total absence is felt as a serious interruption to the pleasure of social communion. A sloven is disagreeable--one habitually negligent of neatness or cleanliness in personal appearance, is intolerable. Christianity no make war on any of man's natural propensities--but only on their abuse. Its object is not to eradicate our instincts, but to prune and train them, and make them bear good fruit.

Now it is well known that some, in what the apostles say on this subject, find an absolute prohibition of all ornaments of dress, and an injunction to wear only the most plain and unadorned apparel. I think Christian women may fall into much more dangerous misinterpretations of Scripture than this; yet I have no doubt it is a misinterpretation. The prohibition seems to be comparative rather than absolute, and contains an injunction to be far more attentive to the ornaments of the soul than to those of the body. "I will have mercy, and not sacrifice," means, "'I prefer mercy to sacrifice." At the same time, there can be no doubt that in the words of the text it is taken for granted that women at all times are, and that the women of those times were, far too much addicted to ornamental dress; that they trenched both upon modesty and economy by their habits. And therefore that in these verses the apostle laid down some very important hints as to the principles on which Christian women should regulate their attire. They inculcate modesty in opposition to what is immodest—economy in opposition to extravagance.

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