Could you pray for me?

[Broken]

I was wondering whether you could pray for me. I'm not sure whether I've got any faith at all, sometimes I believe and sometimes I just can't, however much I want to.

I'm suffering from clinical depression, having to take lots of medications which aren't working, and I've been self-injuring for some years now too. Could you please pray for strength for me? Its all getting too much for me.

 

[Living4theLord]

Broken,
I will definitely life many prayers for you to the Lord. I pray that He grant you peace and strength through these difficult times.

I, too, suffer from depression and know that some days can be very hard to get through; some unbearable. Just take one day at a time.

May God richly bless your life,
CJ

[nick21]

hi Broken
   i will remember you in my prayers and i hope our Good Lord will give you the faith you need in Him and also heal you from depression. Remember always that WITH GOD ALLLLLLL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, never doubt God, keep the faith high and He will do it for you. Amen
    Nick
 

[IrishAngel]

Broken,  the message I read in your quote "my bloody wrists Are all I have to offer for penance"  is so sad...the truth about your Heavenly Father is, He doesnt want you to bleed for Him, for He already did that for you, and His blood can heal all your sin, or sickness or pain, all there is left for you to do is accept His love for you, and ask for deliverance thru the power of His blood. I will pray for you!I thought of this song ...it`s words are beautiful and go along with what i`m trying to say...

The Blood that Jesus shed for me, Way back on Calvary,
The blood that gives me strength from day to day,
It will never lose its power.

It soothes my doubts and calms my fears, And it dries all my tears;
The blood that gives me strength from day to day,
It will never lose its power.

Chorus:
It reaches to the highest mountain. It flows to the lowest valley.
The blood that gives me strength from day to day,
It will never lose it's power.

[Symphony]

I'm praying for you too, Broken.  



(hehe)

[IrishAngel]

God Loves You

In the quiet
Love is reaching
Its yours to hold
Be still and know that
Even when you`re
Lost and lonely
No hope is gone
You`re not alone

Far beyond the
Understanding
There`s a hand that leads
If you believe
Through the darkness
See the light
Remember God loves you

The road ahead is
Long and winding
With hands of faith
You`ll find a way
And when the journey
Leaves you weary
You can rest in the comfort
Of heaven`s arms;
sweet loving arms

Peace will follow
Peace be with you always
As you go
For now you know that

Through the darkness
There`s a light
Remember God loves you

When you open up your heart
His love will meet you were you are
He will always be a part of everything you do
He is here to set you free
And give you all the strength you need
To carry on
To carry on

Through the darkness
See the light
Remember God loves you
Remember God loves you

- Jaci Velasquez

[Terri]

Welcome Broken,

I think IrishAngel said it all in the poem she posted. God Loves you. He wants you to love yourself too!!!!!! I know life is hard, we all have had hard times at some point in our lives. My prayer for you is you put all your troubles, worries, fears on the lord. He is the only one who can lift this depression you are under.

I personally think God allows us to become depressed so we draw closer to him. He wants to be the center of each and ever one of our lives, and he will use what ever means he needs to make that happen.

My prayer would be that you draw closer to the Lord, read your Bible let it speak to your soul. I pray God shows you what it is that keeps you depressed and gives you the strenght to get through it.

A few years ago, I was very depressed and wanted to end my pain. My husband and I were very disconnected. Our relationship was rocky. I felt my world was falling apart. I didn't know how to fix the problem. I was so enraged all the time because I didn't know what was wrong or how to fix it. I just knew I couldn't go on in the marriage this way and wanted a divorce. My husband didn't and asked if we could go to this weekend retreat. It turns out it was a Christian weekend retreat. The message we recieved that weekend was alsome!!!!!! It touched both our hearts and changed both of us. I can say I haven't been depressed since that conference. After the conference I got back into my Church again. And now that God is the center of our life, our marriage is much better and I no longer suffer from depression.

I know God will do the same for you and your issue, as long as you allow him to do that for you.....I will keep you in my prayers.
                              God Bless you  Terri

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

I just took a look at your website. It really scared me. Made the hair on my arms stand up. The only way you will break free from your depression is to not fill your head up with all the dark side stuff. You need to totally get all that out of your life, if you truely want to break free.

Put your interested in the Lord and your depression will leave you.
                           God Bless you   Terri

[Forrest]

        Broken;
      Do you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?
      That is where to begin for faith.

[Broken]

Thank you for your prayers and messages, everyone

I know that if I have faith then I can get through this - the problem is that that faith comes and goes. One minute I feel like there is no possible way that God could not exist, and that He's with me right then and there, and the next not only can I not find God, but the whole concept seems ridiculous. I do try - I keep on praying even when I can't find any belief, and I read my bible often (for one thing - there are a lot of scriptures, particularly in the Old Testament, which speak about depression/loneliness/lack of faith, which is very helpful) but its not exactly ideal, because I don't think I can really say I'm a Christian, as I lose my faith so very often.

Terri,

Most of my website is just there to express the "dark side", because if I don't acknowledge it, it just gets worse. I tend not to look at my own website when I'm feeling better but its helpful when I'm feeling down, and at least I can be sure that there isn't any occult or pornographic material on there, as there is on some other "darker" websites.

Forrest,

Yes, the atonement, and that sort of thing. The trouble is that at various times, Jesus, and all He stands for, seems just words without real meaning or effect. Thats part of the problem. Well, that and the fact that I've always been more drawn to the OT than the New (maybe I should become Jewish ) even though I do try to believe what the New Testament says about God and Christ.

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

I checked out your website again today. In your website there is a picture of Jesus tied to a dirt board and dirts by it saying take a shot or something like that. It was very upsetting to me.

I don't know what you believe, but as long as you have the devil in your life God will be absent!!!!! If you truely want to be free from depression, than you need to repent from your sins, including the self mutalation.

In your website it says that this self mutalation is done to scracific for God. Well, God wants no part of that for his children. That is the very reason he sent Jesus to die on the cross for us. So we his children would not have to suffer.

As long as you entertain the dark side you will always have depression. The Lord is unable to hear you, because you are wrapped up so tightly with the devil. The devil does not Love you. He wants you to take your life so your soul can be his. He knows you are so far from God and he has his grip on you so tight. The only way to break free is to get Good Christian counciling. And destroy your website, and break free from the dark side!!!!!!!

You sound young and intelligent. I really pray you break free from this life style or it will bring you down.

I hope what I have said sinks in. I hear your pain and despire and I want to reach out to you. God is all about Love, Happiness, peace, joy. He has nothing to do with self mutalation or suffering that is the works of the devil. I hope God helps you to see it that way!!!!!!!!!

Always remember God sent his only begotten son to die for you and I. Would the devil die for you?
                         God Bless you Terri

[nChrist]

I was wondering whether you could pray for me. I'm not sure whether I've got any faith at all, sometimes I believe and sometimes I just can't, however much I want to.

Dear Broken,

I will pray for you daily. I ask you to spend some quiet time reading your Bible. I think that Ephesians 1 might be a good place to start. You will find here the Gospel of God's Grace, God's Love for you, and God's Gift of a Personal Saviour for you, Jesus Christ. Jesus will accept you if you accept him. Even now, Jesus loves you and wants you to accept Him into your heart.

In between times of reading God's Holy Word, I ask you to look at the beauty of God's Creation. Walk in the park, look at the trees, look at the flowers, listen to the birds, and know the MAJESTY OF THEIR CREATOR, ALMIGHTY GOD. Go back to your Bible and know that you are reading God's Holy Word. Relax and try to enjoy the Peace and Beauty of ALMIGHTY GOD'S CREATION AND HIS HOLY WORD.

Ask Jesus to come into your heart as your Personal Saviour. Ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins, and HE WILL. Ask Jesus to guide and direct your life and pray from your heart that HE WILL GIVE YOU PEACE. Ask Jesus to have your life IN HIM; that HE will direct your path. I ask for these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen.

[Broken]

Hi Terri,

I checked out your website again today. In your website there is a picture of Jesus tied to a dirt board and dirts by it saying take a shot or something like that. It was very upsetting to me.

   I'm a bit puzzled. I don't recall putting any pictures of Jesus on the site? There is a picture of Munch's Scream in the SI section though. Are you sure you've got the right site? Its http://www.geocities.com/drearoblivion. In fact, the only time that Jesus is mentioned on the site is when I was talking about the influence of the plucking out eyes bit in Matthew on self-injury. And thats more of an observation than anything else, not a condemnation of Jesus or anything.

In your website it says that this self mutalation is done to scracific for God. Well, God wants no part of that for his children. That is the very reason he sent Jesus to die on the cross for us. So we his children would not have to suffer.

Some people SI to sacrifice themselves to God - plucking out an eye to save themselves from hell, for instance. Its a disordered thing to do, no matter what their reasons - I don't support it. My position on SI, and my opinion of what the Christian position on SI should be, is that it is a disordered coping mechanism which, while not evil and sinful, is not helpful either.

As long as you entertain the dark side you will always have depression. The Lord is unable to hear you, because you are wrapped up so tightly with the devil. The devil does not Love you. He wants you to take your life so your soul can be his. He knows you are so far from God and he has his grip on you so tight. The only way to break free is to get Good Christian counciling. And destroy your website, and break free from the dark side!!!!!!!

Terri, I have nothing to do with the devil. The only thing on my website which even mentions the devil is an essay by Paul Carus on "The devil in verse and fable", just talking about literary use of the devil.

Hi blackeyedpeas,

I ask you to spend some quiet time reading your Bible. I think that Ephesians 1 might be a good place to start. You will find here the Gospel of God's Grace, God's Love for you, and God's Gift of a Personal Saviour for you, Jesus Christ. Jesus will accept you if you accept him. Even now, Jesus loves you and wants you to accept Him into your heart.

I'll do that I've mostly been neglecting the NT and reading Psalms, so I probably should start reading more in the New Testament.

Ask Jesus to come into your heart as your Personal Saviour. Ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins, and HE WILL. Ask Jesus to guide and direct your life and pray from your heart that HE WILL GIVE YOU PEACE. Ask Jesus to have your life IN HIM; that HE will direct your path

My trouble is, blackeyedpeas, I've asked, many, many times for just that. And for a while things are ok, but then I lose faith again and have to start over once I get back on track. I read something in hebrews about how you can only repent the once and then if you fall away, thats it, so I'm not at all sure whether there is any point, if falling away the first time (quite a few years ago now) means that whatever I've done since means nothing. I do keep on trying, because I'm not absolutely sure, and in the hope that I'll be given mercy, but its hard, considering that I can't seem to hold on to faith.

[Terri]

Hi Broken,

The Dart board with Jesus on it was on your website, it could have been something someone else put there but it was absolutely on your website.  It was in the part of your website that had pictures of people cutting tatoos into their arm with a scalpel. And a photo of a man hanging from two huge fish hooks in his back. Pretty sick if you ask me.

This kind of behavior is not of God nor is it for God. You are messing in the wrong territory. I am very concerned for you Broken, I think you are young  and trying to find a place where you fit in. I pray that you would stay away from all the dark side stuff.  Let God fill you with his Love.

Would you talk about Jesus on your website? I didn't read anywhere on your website, saying you where a Christian?
You need to break free from the dark side/ gothic life style, and then God will answer your prayers and change you forever!!! He has great blessing for you if you would let him in. It might be hard at first, but I know God will help you change your life!!!!

Broken, I have a daughter and it scare me to death that when she is a teen she would be curious about this lifestyle too. If you were my daughter I would do everything in my power to get you away from this life style!!!!!!! You don't see it but all the gothic stuff is the work of the devil. It has nothing to do for God. No Christian would harm their own bodies, the very body God gave us. Our bodies is his temple and we must love it and take care of it.

I pray God shows you the truth.. The devil has been filling your head with lies. Hurting yourself is no sacrific to the Lord, he cries every time you cut yourself, because God knows you are not loving yourself. God made you perfect in his eyes, you are his child and he Loves you. You need to love yourself!!!!!!!!!! My heart goes out to you. I really hope my words are helping you.

Broken I will keep you in every pray I say to the Lord and that is many prayers in one day. God Bless you  Terri

[Broken]

The Dart board with Jesus on it was on your website, it could have been something someone else put there but it was absolutely on your website.  It was in the part of your website that had pictures of people cutting tatoos into their arm with a scalpel. And a photo of a man hanging from two huge fish hooks in his back. Pretty sick if you ask me.

  I don't have any pictures like that on my website, because they trigger people, there aren't any cutting photos, no pictures of scars (mine or anyone elses), or even pictures of razors, blood, or knives. I don't want to be responsible for someone feeling the urge to SI. I've checked my website, in case someone hacked it, but its all as it should be. Are you definitely sure you got the right site? Its got a layered background with red silk as the back, and black where the text is?

Would you talk about Jesus on your website? I didn't read anywhere on your website, saying you where a Christian?

Because I'm not sure I can call myself a Christian, Terri. I do say that on my site, that I can't call myself anything because my belief in God changes with my mental state. I can hardly advocate that others believe in Jesus when I'm not always sure I do so myself.

You don't see it but all the gothic stuff is the work of the devil. It has nothing to do for God. No Christian would harm their own bodies, the very body God gave us. Our bodies is his temple and we must love it and take care of it.

There are instances of such in the Bible, you know. Jesus, of course, being the supreme example. I'm not saying SI is a good thing, because it certainly is not, but its a short-term solution. I don't know about the "gothic stuff", I like horror stories, literature from the gothic/romantic poets and writers, that sort of thing. I don't see what is wrong about that, or where that is contrary to the Bible.