where do I start?

[poemofhis]

The basics:

April 28th I lost my job of 12 years. It wasn't too alarming, the Lord clearly spoke to me a few days before preparing me for this and I know His hand was on this situation. I felt him saying, "It's time to go, you ready?"

The whole deal:

I graduated from college 4 years ago with a degree in Political Science. I had intentions of going to law school but God clearly said "NO" just before graduation. When I began school, I teeter totted between teaching English and law...and eventually law won out. But, come my senior year, my internship suprised me. I had been growing in my relationship with the Lord and was at that point where I was seeking my calling and his will in my life. Well.. when my internship came in - all I had was 1 response... so I took it. I called and ironically... the lady said to me, "We'd like you to intern with us, teaching ENGLISH - as a second language to persecuted Christians from Africa.

That moment changed my life.

So. Since.. I've experienced set backs financially, emotionally and physically. I won't go into that but I've sought the Lord on his desire for me to teach. Clearly that is his call for my life - I guess fear and just provision - the fear of provision - kept me at my job. Being single and with debt ..it just didnt seem feasible to go back to school because I can't student teach and get by with no income. I kept putting it off. Well. I got to work with a non profit program at my company which allowed me to teach classes before work at the elementary level. I found myself daily wanting to be in the class all day - and not working. Long story short.. God slammed the door shut on my job - I was given 6 months severance - and I took my walking papers as God leading me into teaching. So, I immediately tried to get back into my college to finish my teaching licensure classes. I got back in. Aid was provided..and I've taken the two classes I need to enter the program with 4 months left of severance (more like 3 now) - the thing is. I just took the national test for admission into the teaching program and came up short 2 points in the math area - so now I have to take this test again for admission... which probably means I wont be able to student teach for another year.

HELLO SEVERANCE RUNS OUT IN OCTOBER.

So. This is my dilemma.

Im doubting God wants me to teach now because the timing seems so strange. I thought God was moving me from work to where he wanted me but it seems to be back firing. He opened all the doors necessary right on time in May. I mean literally within HOURS on time which could not be done aside from his hand then I don't pass the dang test to be admitted. I feel discouraged and I'm fighting wanting to give up...and feeling really inadequate I guess because of the test scores. Along with this.. is a great amount of anxiety on what to do next.. how and when. The job I choose to take is directly affected by being able to finish school and I've rescheduled to take the test -- so the job issues is put off until I have a decision there. Which is.... overwhelming to a single woman's heart.

MAINLY BECAUSE

I am also taking care of my mom at this time. She's staying with me and going through a really ugly separation from my father of 30 years. (abusive, physically and mentally) - things are so hard.

I'LL END WITH

I feel like Abraham when he decided to go to Egypt to avoid the famine out of fear of not being able to provide for his family. Right now, I am doubting God's provision because of fear and at the same time I am doubting my abilities and the calling I'm certain he's placed on my heart.

Please pray for me. For guidance, peace...and provision.

Thanks.
Selina

[Soldier4Christ]

I will be prating for you in this Selina and for your family as well. Sometimes we cannot see what God's will is for our lives. I am sure that it will be revealed to you in His time. We must keep faith in Him. He will take care of us.

Just a thought here. I understand that a license is important for teaching in some areas. If you have all your requirements in otherwise I am sure that there are other positions, besides the one you originally mentioned, for teaching that don't require a license. Perhaps at a Christian School?

[poemofhis]

All schools require licensure to teach. - except on a sub level or assistant level and I can't get by on that sort of income. It's less than $7 an hr.

[Soldier4Christ]

I'm not familiar with the laws in regards to this so I was just asking. I have heard, here where I live, that teachers can get a job in Christian Schools with a certificate and nothing more.

As I said though I will be praying for you in this.

[StillSmallVoice]

Selina, count on my prayer support.

Andrew

[Shammu]

Selina yes I will be praying for you, your family, and guidance. As Pastor roger has said, sometimes it takes time. His time, as I have learned

[airIam2worship]

Selina, my prayers are with you as well

[StillSmallVoice]

Selina, sister, remember to keep us updated when you're able.

Andrew

[Amorus]

I will be praying for you Selina.
Know that the Lord may not be telling you he doesn't want you to teach, but might be trying to show you something from this experience.  I work in higher education administration, know and have spoken to many students who are in your situation.  The Praxis I and II are not easy exams and I have talked with many students who have closely missed the scores and have been successful on their second attempt.  Perhaps the Lord is looking for you to put faith in him to provide for you financially while you student teach.  There is also the alternate route method of teaching (you can find that information on your states DE website).  At any rate, I will pray that the Lord will show you clear and visible course to your life whether it be teaching or something else still secret.
Blessings!
-Am-

[poemofhis]

I will be praying for you Selina.
Know that the Lord may not be telling you he doesn't want you to teach, but might be trying to show you something from this experience.  I work in higher education administration, know and have spoken to many students who are in your situation.  The Praxis I and II are not easy exams and I have talked with many students who have closely missed the scores and have been successful on their second attempt.  Perhaps the Lord is looking for you to put faith in him to provide for you financially while you student teach.  There is also the alternate route method of teaching (you can find that information on your states DE website).  At any rate, I will pray that the Lord will show you clear and visible course to your life whether it be teaching or something else still secret.
Blessings!
-Am-

In my heart I know the Lord has called me to teach. My flesh is just frustrated and impatient. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I have scheduled to re-take the exam. I think 1 point difference is feasible right? <grin>

What do you do? Where do you work... (is this another thread or a pm) - ha