BULL

[Ambassador4Christ]

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.
Lots of children were waiting  in line to get their cheeks
painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy
dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing Her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his
grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."  

[TigerLily]

awwww, now that was just plain sweet..

Hi ya  A4C.. long time no see.. still at it i see,!
Lya TL

[Ambassador4Christ]

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid says, "I want to go to Disneyland." Hillary says, "No problem, I'll take you there on my special senator's airplane"

The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." Hillary says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"

The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"

Hillary is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you  from drowning!!!"

[Ambassador4Christ]

awwww, now that was just plain sweet..

Hi ya  A4C.. long time no see.. still at it i see,!
Lya TL

Hi Sister, how have you been? Your countdown is "30" plus 15 days  

[TigerLily]

hi ya,, LOL 30+15.. hehe, yes it is and thanks for remembering..
I'm doing ok, awas gone for a bit due  to some stuff, but im glad to be back!

Lya TL

[Ambassador4Christ]

A brunette, redhead, and a blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.
After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the
ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be                        
rewarded with a wish.

But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three," and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three," and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

hi ya,, LOL 30+15.. hehe, yes it is and thanks for remembering..
I'm doing ok, awas gone for a bit due  to some stuff, but im glad to be back!

Lya TL

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they
were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is. Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?  

[Ambassador4Christ]

SIMPLE LITTLE QUESTIONS  
 
 

These simple little questions are harder than you think; it just shows you how little we pay attention to the common place things of life. Put your thinking caps on. Mind teasers of COMMON KNOWLEDGE - No cheating, no looking around,  and no using anything on or in your desk or computer. Can you beat 18?? (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions.

 

 

 


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two letters don't appear on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
6. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
7. When you walk does your left arm swing w/your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack?
9. On the United States flag, is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate?
17. Whose face is on a dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
25. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
26. On which side of a venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
27. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
28. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
29. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
30. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

 

 

 

 

 

Scroll down.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Bottom
2. 50 (please tell me you got this one!)
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, & gold
5. Q, Z
6. 1, 0
7. Right
8. 20
9. Red
10. 88
11. Counter (north of the equator)
12. Towards bottom right
13. 12 (no #1)
14. Left
15. Top
16. Clockwise as you look at it
17. Roosevelt
18. 8
19. Left
20. 5
21. 6
22. Bashful
23. 8
24. Did you notice there wasn't one?
25. Ace of spades
26. Left
27. ONE
28. * and #
29. 3
30. Counter

 
 

[Ambassador4Christ]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blond jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.  While her husband is off at work  she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in
the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.  Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.  He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.  He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur
coat at the same time.  He goes over and asks her if she is OK.  She replies, "Yes."
He asks what she is doing.  She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said...

I love this one...

"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.  

[Ambassador4Christ]

Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

[Ambassador4Christ]

Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.

[Ambassador4Christ]

A WELL PLANNED LIFE?

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.  One asked the other, "You were  always so organized in school,  Did you manage to live a well planned life?  "  

" yes,"  said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my  second marriage was to an actor; my
third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm  married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those  marriages have to do with a well planned life?"  

"One for the money, two for the  show, three to get ready, and four to go."