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Our Lord Jesus Christ loves you.
286803 Posts in 27568 Topics by 3790 Members
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Symphony
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« Reply #165 on: May 29, 2003, 07:49:53 PM »


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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #166 on: June 10, 2003, 11:11:04 AM »

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back  Grin
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Symphony
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« Reply #167 on: June 10, 2003, 09:05:36 PM »


hehe, that's a funny one, Amb4.  
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Corpus
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« Reply #168 on: June 11, 2003, 03:18:36 PM »

Why I Never Wash

(1) I was forced to as a child;

(2) People who wash are hypocrites they think they are cleaner than every body else;

(3) There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best;

(4) I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped;

(5) I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter;

(6) None of my friends wash;

(7) I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.

(Cool I can t spare the time;

(9) The bathrooms is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer and

(10) People who make soap are only after your money..........
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #169 on: June 11, 2003, 07:38:07 PM »

Why I Never Wash

(1) I was forced to as a child;

(2) People who wash are hypocrites they think they are cleaner than every body else;

(3) There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best;

(4) I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped;

(5) I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter;

(6) None of my friends wash;

(7) I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.

(Cool I can t spare the time;

(9) The bathrooms is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer and

(10) People who make soap are only after your money..........

PU  Grin Grin Grin
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Ambassador4Christ
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« Reply #170 on: June 11, 2003, 07:41:43 PM »

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Grin
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« Reply #171 on: June 13, 2003, 08:04:33 PM »

WHO MAKES COFFEE IN YOUR HOUSE?


Did you know it's not right for a woman to make coffee?


Yup, it's in the Bible!


It says.............



"HEBREWS!" Grin Grin Grin
   
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« Reply #172 on: June 13, 2003, 08:07:48 PM »

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Grin Grin

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« Reply #173 on: June 13, 2003, 08:09:43 PM »

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Grin Grin
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« Reply #174 on: June 13, 2003, 08:13:11 PM »

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."  Grin Grin
 
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« Reply #175 on: June 13, 2003, 08:16:31 PM »

An elderly gent was invited to his old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms -Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
 The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
 While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you
still call your wife those loving pet names."
 The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."  Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #176 on: June 13, 2003, 08:21:12 PM »

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." Grin Grin
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« Reply #177 on: June 13, 2003, 08:23:30 PM »

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"  Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #178 on: June 13, 2003, 08:25:07 PM »

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." Grin Grin
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« Reply #179 on: June 13, 2003, 08:27:00 PM »

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead." Grin Grin Grin
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